LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
it's a breeze if you have a nervous laugh like me >.>
I don't undestand flirting
- Thread starter jryden
- Start date
KiaKaha
Banned
Flirting is just letting the person you know you are interested in getting closer without coming across to strong - it's a way to play it safe. I don't think its fake at all - It's akin to making small talk except with an element of intimacy involved.
Just imagine if we didnt have flirting - none of us would know whether another person liked us or found us attractive - or we would all have restraining orders against one another. It's a mechanism that holds a nice balance.
What I dont like is getting mixed messages though - people saying one thing while their actions say another. Dishonesty, manipulation, knee jerk judgements and playing games is NOT flirting - it's just mean and hurtful.
Just imagine if we didnt have flirting - none of us would know whether another person liked us or found us attractive - or we would all have restraining orders against one another. It's a mechanism that holds a nice balance.
What I dont like is getting mixed messages though - people saying one thing while their actions say another. Dishonesty, manipulation, knee jerk judgements and playing games is NOT flirting - it's just mean and hurtful.
shakethelight
Well-known member
I couldnt agree more. This is why I keep submitting my ex to thedirty.com...kidding...
Dung beetle courtship behavior involves a potential pair rolling a ball of poop together--the principle is exactly the same. It's hard to accuse a dung beetle of faking anything.
Typical courtship behaviors in various animals involve dancing, lightly touching each other, and building and showing off fancy homes.
There's also displaying an impressive physique or pretty colors, gift giving, or singing an especially complicated song (smooth talking, anyone?).
I understand the theory of flirting well enough. In practice, not that well. I'm pretty sure I'd be fighting off the babes if all I had to do was croak really loudly.
MotherWolff
Banned
Seems like when MotherWolff tries to flirt with a man it does the exact opposite from its main purpose which is to attract the man but instead it repels him like mosquito spray.....
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Maybe you guys just need more practice. I used to have a lot of lesbian friends, and I'd flirt with some of them outrageously. Most of the time, they'd flirt right back. We all understood that nothing was ever going to come of it, so nobody got their hopes up, and nobody got their feelings hurt. It was just good, clean, dirty fun.
Even though it was only a game, with nothing on the line, it also helped to prepare me for those times when I wanted to flirt with someone who really interested me. Learning to relax and maintain eye contact, and practicing other techniques, is a whole lot easier when there's no pressure.
That's my advice, free of charge, but you'll have to provide your own lesbians. Good luck!
MikeyC
Well-known member
You're not actually growling like a wolf, are you? :Seems like when MotherWolff tries to flirt with a man it does the exact opposite from its main purpose which is to attract the man but instead it repels him like mosquito spray.....
:Knowing nothing will come out of the flirting is an easier way to flirt, because there's no consequences for it. However, you're right in that it does help you when you're actually trying to flirt. You got some good practice in when you needed it! Unfortunately I have no lesbian friends to try this on.Maybe you guys just need more practice. I used to have a lot of lesbian friends, and I'd flirt with some of them outrageously. Most of the time, they'd flirt right back. We all understood that nothing was ever going to come of it, so nobody got their hopes up, and nobody got their feelings hurt. It was just good, clean, dirty fun.
Even though it was only a game, with nothing on the line, it also helped to prepare me for those times when I wanted to flirt with someone who really interested me. Learning to relax and maintain eye contact, and practicing other techniques, is a whole lot easier when there's no pressure.
That's my advice, free of charge, but you'll have to provide your own lesbians. Good luck!
I do need more practice, but it's difficult. I act like I normally would around a cute girl, which means no flirting, so she probably gets the indication that I'm not interested, which isn't true. I don't get the opportunity to flirt much, anyway. Maybe one day I'll learn, but then I'll be too old, haha.
Hastings & Main
Well-known member
Flirting and then not having it reciprocated waaaaaaaayyyy back probably taught me to never bother with it since "flirting = rejection = pain" was taught to me.
Which is part of the emotional hypersensitivity which I'm working on getting rid of, realizing that one or two bad things happening doesn't mean they're ALL going to be bad.
But yeah, there's all sorts of flirting. The overblown kind shown on TV shouldn't be anyone's blueprint on how it's done, though.
Which is part of the emotional hypersensitivity which I'm working on getting rid of, realizing that one or two bad things happening doesn't mean they're ALL going to be bad.
But yeah, there's all sorts of flirting. The overblown kind shown on TV shouldn't be anyone's blueprint on how it's done, though.
dancingintherain
Well-known member
I'm a great flirt .. I can't help it
cosmosis
Well-known member
Yes, to me flirting feels fake or manipulative. Most of the time the emotions are not genuine but rather a way to get attention. Even if you genuinely like the person, why not talk to them, why not get to know them and naturally increase affection as time goes on? Flirting seems like a way to speed dial through people which usually causes pain to someone. I suppose if you see people more like objects then I guess its genuine.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
I would give a medal to whoever told me that. That's just priceless.
KiaKaha
Banned
Haven't received a medal yet. Those slap marks sure do sting though.
Hellhound
Super Moderator
Pfft... Those girls obviously know nothing about epic win!
1BlackSheep
Well-known member
Ok, that explains a LOT!!!
It is quite the mystery, indeed.
Having a great sense of humor is a very attractive quality! I'm crappy at the fine art of flirting too. I get very quiet and don't know what to say around men I'm interested in, at least in the beginning. :
:
awkwardamanda
Well-known member
Smiling at someone is about the closest I've ever come to flirting. It was probably only ever perceived as a shy, awkward smile, or a friendly smile at best.:
:Aww, how romantic.
HA!! Lines like that would easily grab my attention!
gustavofring
Well-known member
I don't understand it either. All the girlfriends that I had approached me first, with the exception of one whom I asked out online.
Whenever I approached someone (in a bar etc) it turned into disaster because I'm terrible at taking the initiative and probably a clumsy turnoff, especially when on alcohol.
Since then I never bothered anymore. I also never dare make eye contact with an attractive lady when she's passing me by (it just feels so cheesy to be "the guy who stares" you know and I feel she might think I'm annoying or creepy. It's hard to read what a woman wants; does she want to be stared at or not?) or turn quiet when I talk to an attractive girl at a party or something. Deep insecurity and fear of rejection.
Whenever I approached someone (in a bar etc) it turned into disaster because I'm terrible at taking the initiative and probably a clumsy turnoff, especially when on alcohol.
Since then I never bothered anymore. I also never dare make eye contact with an attractive lady when she's passing me by (it just feels so cheesy to be "the guy who stares" you know and I feel she might think I'm annoying or creepy. It's hard to read what a woman wants; does she want to be stared at or not?) or turn quiet when I talk to an attractive girl at a party or something. Deep insecurity and fear of rejection.
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