I don't undestand flirting

N

Nathália

Well-known member
I'm extremely shy, but sometimes people think I am flirting, when I am not at all. I remember the last time someone tried to flirt with me, I acted like he did not even exist. I'm too nervous and my confidence is too low to flirt with someone. The fastest way to make me pee my pants is to randomly come up to me and start a conversation, especially in public. I always make a fool out of myself, I can't relax and be myself with certain people. Me flirt? No, but people get a flirty vibe from me.
 
MothPriest

MothPriest

Member
cosmosis said:
Yes, to me flirting feels fake or manipulative. Most of the time the emotions are not genuine but rather a way to get attention. Even if you genuinely like the person, why not talk to them, why not get to know them and naturally increase affection as time goes on? Flirting seems like a way to speed dial through people which usually causes pain to someone. I suppose if you see people more like objects then I guess its genuine.
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This! I feel like this is what I'm always trying to put into words when I talk to my friends how I hate flirting.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
flirting is best 'felt' rather than 'understood'

consider it as an art rather than a science

it's messy, abstract, expressive, colorful - and open to interpretation

there are very few rules, formulae, or precise measurements involved
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
Look - flirting is simple.. yall over complicating it.

Guys all you have to do is this - just say "I like every bone in your body - especially mine" and you're in.

It's gold.

If that doesn't work - well lets face it, there is no hope.
 
N

Nathália

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
Look - flirting is simple.. yall over complicating it.

Guys all you have to do is this - just say "I like every bone in your body - especially mine" and you're in.

It's gold.

If that doesn't work - well lets face it, there is no hope.
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Oh no you just......did.......int!. :rolleyes:

:) Lol!!!!
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
Look - flirting is simple.. yall over complicating it.

Guys all you have to do is this - just say "I like every bone in your body - especially mine" and you're in.

It's gold.

If that doesn't work - well lets face it, there is no hope.
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And how has this worked in your world? ;)
 
Sora

Sora

Well-known member
I don't get it, if you feel this strongly why fight it, don't flirt!
I've felt the same about flirting and I never do it intentionally.

I've been told many times I am a flirt and naughty and stuff but I never see it as flirting, rather playful but that's just me naturally.

People will either get that or they won't, if they don't they just think I am weird but I never intend to do any of it as I don't see the point.

Just be yourself, and if you do that then that is all that matters.
Screw the rest
 
twiggle

twiggle

Well-known member
As with a lot of things, I think when flirting is forced and/or too much thought put into it, that's when it starts to seem somewhat artificial. That's when I don't get it, either.

I think meaningful flirting is a lot more cohesive... people bouncing off one another like a ball between ping-pong rackets. No time to *think too much* in between the dialogue.
I prefer the 'take the mickey out of each other' type of flirting. To me, it suggests that I can be myself around him. I'm not so keen on compliments.
 
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OceanMist

OceanMist

Well-known member
To go back to the argument from earlier, the reason flirting can be fake is because when people flirt it can often be an act. Let me use an example.

I'm a guy, let's say I tell a really stupid joke that nobody thinks is funny but the woman who is sexually interested in me starts laughing at the bombed joke. That happens many times with flirting, the flirting partner is pretending like the other person is funny so they can win their partner's attention and respect.

I mean, hey, there's nothing wrong with that. It's smart if you ask me. But can flirting be fake....oh yeah. No doubt about it.

Heck, on my last date I put on a little act. I'm guilty of using the flirting act too.

Flirting can be an excellent way of letting your partner know that you are interested in them intimately, whether the flirting is fake or not.
 
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Kat

Kat

Well-known member
Yeah, I don’t really know what that is. I give compliments but it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m interested in the person that way, I guess my actions speak a bit louder.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
twiggle said:
As with a lot of things, I think when flirting is forced and/or too much thought put into it, that's when it starts to seem somewhat artificial. That's when I don't get it, either.

I think meaningful flirting is a lot more cohesive... people bouncing off one another like a ball between ping-pong rackets. No time to *think too much* in between the dialogue.
I prefer the 'take the mickey out of each other' type of flirting. To me, it suggests that I can be myself around him. I'm not so keen on compliments.
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if you want me to take my mickey out, just ask
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
twiggle said:
I prefer the 'take the mickey out of each other' type of flirting. To me, it suggests that I can be myself around him. I'm not so keen on compliments.
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I think that when you are comfortable around a person to playfully tease and give each other some stick then that is a definite sign of attraction.
Being comfortable in each others company is very attractive - as well as flowing conversation.

I think flirtation comes in many forms - not just necessarily consciously - but subtly and without really meaning too. Like the widening of pupils when you find someone attractive for example...
 
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