How to act towards men you are attracted to...
- Thread starter WeirdyMcGee
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OceanMist
Well-known member
Ask him out on a date and tell him it's a date. It can't be much more obvious than that.
I think that is best because it isolates the both of you so you can get to know eachother and see if you click.
Personally, I hate the whole sending signals with gestures and eye contact. I'm too dumb to understand when a woman likes me unless she spells it out for me by either saying she likes me intimately, asking me out on a date, etc. Come to think of it, I've never been asked out on a date. That would be nice.
The problem with the signal thing is a lot of people in general are nice, so when a woman laughs and acts like she likes someone she easily just like that person as a friend. Idk, maybe I'm just an idiot and can't read women in that way.
I think that is best because it isolates the both of you so you can get to know eachother and see if you click.
Personally, I hate the whole sending signals with gestures and eye contact. I'm too dumb to understand when a woman likes me unless she spells it out for me by either saying she likes me intimately, asking me out on a date, etc. Come to think of it, I've never been asked out on a date. That would be nice.
The problem with the signal thing is a lot of people in general are nice, so when a woman laughs and acts like she likes someone she easily just like that person as a friend. Idk, maybe I'm just an idiot and can't read women in that way.
bleach
Banned
Ladies, I'll tell you this: if you're having a conversation with us and you're laughing and smiling while giving us eye contact, we're going to assume you're interested.
Or maybe that's just me.
no that's me too
but then, most people who are not friends already tend to ignore me, so if some girl starts talking to me I think it's for a reason. more outgoing people might not jump to that conclusion
MrJones
Well-known member
I usually think nobody likes me, let being attracted to me.
A girl once told me directly I like you. That's the only time I knew somebody liked me. Then I realized she didn't really like me.
I guess I won't even have to care about it anymore, no one has ever been attracted to me :/
A girl once told me directly I like you. That's the only time I knew somebody liked me. Then I realized she didn't really like me.
I guess I won't even have to care about it anymore, no one has ever been attracted to me :/
028ellie81
Active member
I always become very self conscious and def not good at flirting. Guess thats why I'm single lol!
MikeyC
Well-known member
Absolutely. Even if it's obvious.
I don't act differently around anyone... honestly, I don't even think about being attracted to anyone. Even if I am slightly attracted, if I happen to have a conversation with them (alone or with other people), I usually can pick up on the fact that they are not attracted to me (or get the implication that they're not by the fact that they don't try to talk/engage with me). So I've never worried about it. I have no experience whatsoever trying to get a guy to notice me- I haven't the slightest idea how, since I've always thought (assumed, maybe wrongly?) that the attraction wasn't mutual, and it would be pointless for me to think about trying anyway.
Invisibleman
Well-known member
I actually had a dream about that just last night. I was walking with a girl down a street for some reason, and she was talking and laughing. When it was time to go I gave her a kiss on the cheek and she was like "what!? NO!?" and then she left and I woke up
It was just a dream and I was so embarassed.
MikeyC
Well-known member
I still wouldn't get it. :This hat might help:
:
Men are totally oblivious when someone likes them. So spell it out in a hint (e.g. I like you, you're really sweet), make sure you talk real slow
haha, yes!
awkwardamanda
Well-known member
I really have no idea how to act. I just tend to avoid and be awkward.:: It's rare that I'm ever really attracted to anyone. I'll notice guys out in public, but I don't care too much. I just like to look sometimes, but that's it. I don't get out much, so I'm never really in any situations that would allow me to meet and get to know or even *GASP* flirt with someone.
I had a pretty big crush on a guy when I was in university (and perhaps "had" is the wrong choice of words because I still think about him:. We had some classes together and started talking a bit. It was really uncomfortable at first because I was attracted to him right away, but I still had a boyfriend at the time. I was so afraid to say hi and start a conversation. It was nice just to talk to someone, because that was a rare occurrence, but the whole situation made it that much worse than the usual awkwardness. I felt guilty for just wanting to chat with someone in class. So I mostly stayed quiet, but then I just worried about seeming rude, as opposed to just shy. Eventually broke up with the bf and had another class with this guy the next year. Never said a word. I sat in the row behind him, a few seats down. I often caught him turning around, out of the corner of my eye. If I was looking in his direction, I turned away fast. Wouldn't let myself believe he might be looking my way. For the next year and a half, we had no more classes together, but I still saw him around. I mostly just kept a safe distance and stared from afar. I often sat in a study hall in one of the main lobbies and enjoyed the distraction anytime he'd walk by. Occasionally we smiled at each other in passing. That's about as bold as I ever got. I always assumed it was nothing more than a friendly smile. Never had the guts to even say hello. It would have quickly turned to awkward silence anyway.::
And this is why I'm single. If I keep this kind of crap up, I'll be lucky to ever get a date again.
: It's rare that I'm ever really attracted to anyone. I'll notice guys out in public, but I don't care too much. I just like to look sometimes, but that's it. I don't get out much, so I'm never really in any situations that would allow me to meet and get to know or even *GASP* flirt with someone.I had a pretty big crush on a guy when I was in university (and perhaps "had" is the wrong choice of words because I still think about him:
. We had some classes together and started talking a bit. It was really uncomfortable at first because I was attracted to him right away, but I still had a boyfriend at the time. I was so afraid to say hi and start a conversation. It was nice just to talk to someone, because that was a rare occurrence, but the whole situation made it that much worse than the usual awkwardness. I felt guilty for just wanting to chat with someone in class. So I mostly stayed quiet, but then I just worried about seeming rude, as opposed to just shy. Eventually broke up with the bf and had another class with this guy the next year. Never said a word. I sat in the row behind him, a few seats down. I often caught him turning around, out of the corner of my eye. If I was looking in his direction, I turned away fast. Wouldn't let myself believe he might be looking my way. For the next year and a half, we had no more classes together, but I still saw him around. I mostly just kept a safe distance and stared from afar. I often sat in a study hall in one of the main lobbies and enjoyed the distraction anytime he'd walk by. Occasionally we smiled at each other in passing. That's about as bold as I ever got. I always assumed it was nothing more than a friendly smile. Never had the guts to even say hello. It would have quickly turned to awkward silence anyway.::And this is why I'm single. If I keep this kind of crap up, I'll be lucky to ever get a date again.
MikeyC
Well-known member
Same here. Nothing wrong with looking.
ohheybbyitscorixx
Well-known member
Well, I've acted very nice and made eye contact with men and they THINK I like them, but I was trying to just be friends. But the people I've liked, I get all sweaty, and start blushing, and my eyes go like O.O, and I start to stutter and laugh really nervously and a lot. I'm like that geeky girl with the glasses and braces that no one likes in those silly teen shows/movies. It would be lovely if people just acted themselves. Not lying or being different in order to try and attract someone.
twiggle
Well-known member
It depends on how often I see him and whether or not he is already a friend. If I just have a little crush without knowing him too well, for example if its someone in a bar, then if I've had a couple of drinks I'll just tell him or maybe try and initiate something. What's there to lose, right?
But if he's a friend already, I tend to keep it to myself because there's more at stake. It's hard because I want to distance myself before I get too sucked in but at the same time I'm desperate to spend more time around him. I seldom admit my feelings in this case.
I haven't been in this position for a while though. I don't go to bars as much anymore and when I do I just want to focus on chatting to whoever I'm there with. And I don't really have any crushes atm but I'm starting to want one again, because lets be honest they can be kinda fun to have. But I'm not meeting any new men in my life right now, as much as I'd like to.
But if he's a friend already, I tend to keep it to myself because there's more at stake. It's hard because I want to distance myself before I get too sucked in but at the same time I'm desperate to spend more time around him. I seldom admit my feelings in this case.
I haven't been in this position for a while though. I don't go to bars as much anymore and when I do I just want to focus on chatting to whoever I'm there with. And I don't really have any crushes atm but I'm starting to want one again, because lets be honest they can be kinda fun to have. But I'm not meeting any new men in my life right now, as much as I'd like to.
I can't recall ever being openly flirted with in an obvious way - I can't even remember ever being accosted by a woman out in public. Sometimes I get a cute smile from a girl and usually women are very friendly with me but I always assume they're just being nice.
When I was a teenager, it used to bother me that girls wouldn't openly come onto me, so I started to think I was unattractive. But then I noticed something interesting - as soon as I practiced being assertive and going after girls, I had some pretty good times with them and was able to forge romantic relationships quite easily. That didn't really gel with my notion of me being unattractive. But it did make me think about things on a broader scale. It helped me realize how many aspects of life are out there for the taking - we just have to dare to pursue it all.
In any case, I couldn't tell a woman how to act, since I wouldn't even know what a genuine flirt looks like. And that's because I've had to do all the running so far.
When I was a teenager, it used to bother me that girls wouldn't openly come onto me, so I started to think I was unattractive. But then I noticed something interesting - as soon as I practiced being assertive and going after girls, I had some pretty good times with them and was able to forge romantic relationships quite easily. That didn't really gel with my notion of me being unattractive. But it did make me think about things on a broader scale. It helped me realize how many aspects of life are out there for the taking - we just have to dare to pursue it all.
In any case, I couldn't tell a woman how to act, since I wouldn't even know what a genuine flirt looks like. And that's because I've had to do all the running so far.
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