How are you feeling?

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Damn.

All I did was organize my bedroom yesterday and I felt like an all-star.

yeah-yeah.gif
:LOL:
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Mopey. It's a beautiful day, just like yesterday, yet it makes my mood worse. I don't want to do anything even though I have plenty to do. Not to mention I'm so freaking tired today. :sleep: I didn't sleep that well. For 2 nights now I've had weird dreams about going back to my shit job and them letting me go as soon as I come back or me quitting as soon as I get back. If either happens I guess I don't really care. Or maybe I do care deep down. I don't know. My cat wouldn't let me over-analyze my thoughts this morning. She happily woke me up at 5:30am for her breakfast. She clearly couldn't tell that I was trying to wallow in my own misery.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
A therapist told me 20 years ago what my main problem was and I didn't listen. The older I get, the more I see that she was exactly right.
What would that be, if you don't mind me asking? I started seeing my therapist a couple months ago. It's been pretty helpful for me so far. I've learned that I deal a lot with sensory overload, probably more than most people. That might seem like a "duh" moment, but I really didn't know that's what I was feeling and experiencing. I don't know why I'm overstimulated so easily, but just knowing that has helped recognize why I feel so angry and aggravated when I'm anxious, and when it does happen I feel I can talk myself through it easier. I've been working on different coping strategies, but so far only one has somewhat worked.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I'm feeling better than I was a couple hours ago. I actually got an email from a job I applied for 3 months ago basically saying, "Thanks but you're not what we're looking for." It sucks, but I took it too personally. I needed to remind myself that there was just someone else who probably had more experience , not that I was a bad fit.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
I'm feeling better than I was a couple hours ago. I actually got an email from a job I applied for 3 months ago basically saying, "Thanks but you're not what we're looking for." It sucks, but I took it too personally. I needed to remind myself that there was just someone else who probably had more experience , not that I was a bad fit.

Keep at it, Phoenixx! Job hunting sucks and I always hated when I got letters telling me they chose somebody else, especially when I thought the interview went really well. Hopefully, you will be rewarded with something better than what you were rejected for.
 
I’m feeling disappointed with myself. At work today, I had the opportunity to show that I am more intelligent than my current position and I squandered it. I basically said (in so many words), that I am someone in a lowly position who doesn’t know anything other than what I was there to do. This particular person kept asking me questions and even though I didn’t have all of the answers, I could have responded better; been less clueless. This is what anxiety does to me. I hinders and ruins my ability to speak normally. At that same time, someone who used to work in my department asked me if I was going to get married to my boyfriend (he knows him too). I laughed, turned around and said “I don’t know, probably never”. It wasn’t what was said, but the delivery. It was said anxiously and made me sound mentally handicapped because I was embarrassed. He mimicked what I said back to me, sounding mentally handicapped. That really embarrassed me and hurt my feelings. I wish so much that I didn’t have to deal with anxiety. I wish I could have defended myself. I let people treat me however because I don’t want to cause a stir and am trying to just “get through” this phase of life. It’s not working out. When you start to become cognizant of how you act poorly in social situations, it’s cringe worthy. I think I need to take interpersonal classes and learn how to socialize. Learn that I am not beneath everyone.
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
I’m feeling disappointed with myself. At work today, I had the opportunity to show that I am more intelligent than my current position and I squandered it. I basically said (in so many words), that I am someone in a lowly position who doesn’t know anything other than what I was there to do. This particular person kept asking me questions and even though I didn’t have all of the answers, I could have responded better; been less clueless. This is what anxiety does to me. I hinders and ruins my ability to speak normally. At that same time, someone who used to work in my department asked me if I was going to get married to my boyfriend (he knows him too). I laughed, turned around and said “I don’t know, probably never”. It wasn’t what was said, but the delivery. It was said anxiously and made me sound mentally handicapped because I was embarrassed. He mimicked what I said back to me, sounding mentally handicapped. That really embarrassed me and hurt my feelings. I wish so much that I didn’t have to deal with anxiety. I wish I could have defended myself. I let people treat me however because I don’t want to cause a stir and am trying to just “get through” this phase of life. It’s not working out. When you start to become cognizant of how you act poorly in social situations, it’s cringe worthy. I think I need to take interpersonal classes and learn how to socialize. Learn that I am not beneath everyone.

Please do look into those classes. Thinking of yourself as a second-class citizen becomes a way of life... believe me, I know.
 
Top