How are you feeling?

Phoenixx

Well-known member
@ Phoenix, That is not really fair of your instructor to do that. Did they give you a valid reason for bringing such a huge task forward by a week!?
The original plan was to have students pick their Tuesday to present. We had 3 Tuesdays to choose from: 4/30, 5/7, and 5/14. I had talked to my instructor in her office hours ahead of time stating that I wanted to present on 5/7. A lot of people did not want to present on 4/30, including me obviously, but a few students had to regardless, as we only have so much class time for people to present. My instructor got frustrated with people complaining I think and she said she'd randomly pick names and assign them the dates. Guess she didn't care about my request and put me for that day anyways. :rolleyes:

Given my busy schedule I only have today, tomorrow, and Monday to put this presentation together, plus make a couple ever so minor corrections to my thesis paper. But I'm now trying to see the silver lining. By the end of next Tuesday I'll be free from nearly all schoolwork FOREVER!
 
I’d say I’m feeling great, but I’d be lying... Eh, y’know the usual: stupid, fat, ugly and ignored.

Treated like I’m nuthin’, as if I’m the problem. Feels great being lumped in with my siblings and telt am bossy, domineering, etc. Yet I’m the only yin trying and failing to do what’s right. Cuz every time ah dae that, am in the wrong, apparently ! Dinnae ken why ah bother... ah really don’t know, anymore. :mad: The life ah could’ve had, had I came from a more stable family... ah cun only imagine. :cry: At least it’d be a life, and not this fuckin’ dictated, miserable co-dependent parent/child carer routine I’m forced to live now.
 
Another day, and yet another fuckin’ child tantrum level argument has occurred amongst the supposedly “superior”, “mature” wimmin o’ my family. Tears, shouting... just needed to hear a slamming door and I’d getting flashback to how things were 18 year ago. But that did’nae happen. And all because of a... fuckin Facebook post ! Nae word o’ a lie. :mad:
 
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Another day, and yet another fuckin’ child tantrum level argument has occurred amount the supposedly “superior”, “mature” wimmin o’ my family. Tears, shouting... just needed to hear a slamming door and I’d getting flashback to how things were 18 year ago. But that did’nae happen. And all because of a... fuckin Facebook post ! Nae word o’ a lie. :mad:
My god you sound like someone i used to know :O
 
Pretty good. Got complimented on my drawing skills... again. For another picture I drew for my oldest niece today. :) It wus’nae perfect, but it was close enough to what she asked me to draw (it was a butterfly, in case ye were wondering or about to ask). And before that, my niece had asked me to draw a picture of one of my guitar. :LOL:

Felt weird though, ah huv tae admit, but only cuz ah huv’nae done any drawing since ah left high school about 12 years ago. And even by that point I’d lost interest in art and music and kinda became disillusioned with the whole creative process, as far as getting something out of it.
 
Pretty good. Got complimented on my drawing skills... again. For another picture I drew for my oldest niece today. :) It wus’nae perfect, but it was close enough to what she asked me to draw (it was a butterfly, in case ye were wondering or about to ask). And before that, my niece had asked me to draw a picture of one of my guitar. :LOL:

Felt weird though, ah huv tae admit, but only cuz ah huv’nae done any drawing since ah left high school about 12 years ago. And even by that point I’d lost interest in art and music and kinda became disillusioned with the whole creative process, as far as getting something out of it.
Well... come on! We wanna see the picture! :p
 
Pretty good. Got complimented on my drawing skills... again. For another picture I drew for my oldest niece today. :) It wus’nae perfect, but it was close enough to what she asked me to draw (it was a butterfly, in case ye were wondering or about to ask). And before that, my niece had asked me to draw a picture of one of my guitar. :LOL:

Felt weird though, ah huv tae admit, but only cuz ah huv’nae done any drawing since ah left high school about 12 years ago. And even by that point I’d lost interest in art and music and kinda became disillusioned with the whole creative process, as far as getting something out of it.
 

Marc7

Well-known member
Aye, positive affirmations is what I meant. Though, easier said than done if you were raised around people who were and are constantly negative, as I was.
I struggle with thinking positive or using positive affirmations. Yea it is easier said than done.

Sorry, I must’ve hit post before finishing that point. :LOL: Those exercises my oldest sister printed off for me were done for the week when I’d just got my plaster casts off and was still fairly weak, physically, and need to build my leg strength back up if I didn’t want the surgery to have been a waste of time. And my rehab was yet to start by that point as well... so we kinda took things into our hands. Just to get things going...
Yea lol. That's good you took things into your own hands.


No, it’s just I’d have to get use to putting my full weight on each leg when I was walking you. Something I found difficult before having my operation. And I couldn’t do it while I had the casts on, as my legs weren’t full healed until towards the end of February 2016. Plus, after getting the casts off my legs were still and couldn’t move much. Having been in plaster for over a month.
So weight bare is putting your full weight on each leg when you're walking without the cast? So how did you walk before the operation if you had difficultly with putting your full weight on each leg walking?

Hopping on one leg, and using the frame to support my upper body, basically. :LOL: As I couldn’t let my right foot touch the ground as it was too weak. And if I‘d put any weight on it while it was still healing, there was a good chance I could fell injured myself. That said, it was quite amusing at first though, having to hop about. Then I got the hang of how far I need the frame in order get from the living room couch to my single bed that was at the opposite end of the living room.
Oh, lol I'm sure it was amusing. So at the time your bed was in the living room?

Because, when I went for the consultancy meeting after saying I wanted the surgery done, and I had everything explained to me as far what the surgery entailed. I was expected to be off my feet for a full 6 months at the most. And when I had my operation done, 6 months was still the estimated amount of months I’d be off my feet. So, me being able to get up n’ about within 3 months came as a bit of a surprise to the surgeon who did my operation. Considering I had multiple operations done on my legs at once. I guess she thought, because I’m quite a big lad, I’d need longer heal up and get back on my feet.
Oh. I see. That's good you exceeded expectations. You must of have felt happy.

Pretty much. And I’ve proved I’m not as incapable to doing things myself, despite having a disability.
Oh. You must be happy she doesn't boss you around so much.

Because she’s getting older. And I’m the only one that’s been there for her, I don’t treat her as badly as my 2 older sisters do. I don’t berate her for not being able to do something, like I’ll get annoyed about it, sure. Even swear about it outta frustration, especially if she just making excuses so as to get outta helping me. But I don’t argue about it, my older sister (the youngest of the two) is particular known for doing that a lot. And she refuses to shut up about it, like she go on for a good 15 minutes up to half an hour at times. It’s irritating to listen to... and know you can’t get involved because that would just cause another argument. :mad:
Do you get annoyed about your mother not being able to do something or your sisters? Your sisters swear out of frustration when your mother makes excuses to get of out of helping them or you do? Wow, I'm sure it is irritating to listen to.

:)
 
I struggle with thinking positive or using positive affirmations. Yea it is easier said than done.
Indeed ! I still struggle with that as well.

So weight bare is putting your full weight on each leg when you're walking without the cast?
Yeah, I was advised to stay off my feet for a few weeks after the operation, just to make sure my scars healed probably. But I could some leg lifts and slow knee bends to loosen my joints.

So how did you walk before the operation if you had difficultly with putting your full weight on each leg walking?
I couldn’t walk particularly well before getting the operation... I had a noticable limp due to not being able to put my full weight on my right leg without feeling as though my knee was buckling a bit. So, I had lower back pain issues. But I’m walking a lot better and more confidently since my operation.

Oh, lol I'm sure it was amusing. So at the time your bed was in the living room?
Had to buy a new single bed and put in the living room for a few months, actually. :LOL: Otherwise I’d have been forced to sleep on the couch, which was too small for me Iie down flat on while I had my leg casts on.

Do you get annoyed about your mother not being able to do something or your sisters? Your sisters swear out of frustration when your mother makes excuses to get of out of helping them or you do? Wow, I'm sure it is irritating to listen to.
Oh, I get annoyed at my sisters more than my mother. Just because of how they treat her at times. And I’m usually the one swearing out of frustration, because not only do I have listen to the arguments and say nothing, I also have endure my mother complaining and lumping me in with my siblings because “you lot treat me like $h!%”, as she often says. Which is ironically funny, in that, my mother has frequently told me in the last 2 years that I’m the only one of her kids that she feels she gets along with.

Though, the only thing I get annoyed with my mother about is constant pessimism and generally negative attitude, and the fact that she’ll frequently change her mind about something. Like if she says she wants me to help with something, I’ll go outta my way to help, then she’ll tell me she doesn’t need my help. That can get quite annoying.[/QUOTE]
 
Not sure I’m all that talented, really... :( Am no saying that in a self-pitying or self loathing way.

Ah genuinely feel that the end results o’ my creativity huv bin total fluke 99% o’ the time. Cuz ah rarely huv a set idea in ma mind. Even when ah dae, it’s aw: How tha fuck um ah gonnae dae this...?! Fuck !

Aye, it’s easy to believe in yersel’, but actually huvin the confidence to do summit n’ dae it well ?! That’s what ah struggle with... a lot ! It’s no as easy when ye huv’nae really been taught enough to go from inspiration to finished idea.

Dinnae git me wrong, being asked to draw something is great and ah enjoy it, ah don’t think I’m that good. Despite huvin a love of art.
 
Let doon yet again... story o’ ma f__kin’ life ! Naebuddy does anything for me... :cry:

Yet, am expected to do whatever asked of me, regardless. Must be great huvin a wealth o’ excuses ye cun go to in order to get outta do something, even something as simple as being asked: “Hey, ye could’nae pass me that parcel that’s on that chair, please? It’s just.. you’re closer to it” But an excuse followed by a f__kin’ smirk, as if I’m a joke. :mad:

Oh, but tha second ah say, “No” to anything asked of me, it’s aw: “Huh ! How tha f__k no? Why ?! Whit ye no wanting tae dae that fur? Whit’s wrang wae ye, eh?!” :mad: But, no, am the yin who isn’t allowed to complain or criticise cuz then I’m being an arsehole. Everyone else can, but not me... cuz what do I huv tae be complaining about ? :(
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Really good. It's May. I am just about officially done with college forever. I had an awesome birthday yesterday as well. I have a busy month ahead of me, but it's going to be spent working and spending lots of time with family and friends that I don't get to see too often. :)

....And then June will come and sure enough I'll be back to my miserable self complaining about how my partner and I work too much and we don't get enough time to ourselves. But hey, at least one chapter of my life is finally over. (y)
 
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