How are you feeling?

SoScared

SoScared

Well-known member
Got a couple of things going on. I've been sharing my recent depression episodes with staff at a help centre that I attend. Turns out they have shared this with all the other staff which is kindof their job but its actually quite upsetting when you realize that this has been going on. Its a big issue because it reminds you that you can't actually share anything with anybody in the 'system' and think that whatever you have shared stays within the confines of the office.

I did not know that heightened guilt feelings where part of the depression experience. My anxiety levels have significantly increased in recent weeks. I've had to remind myself of some successful anxiety reduction techniques that I've used in years gone by.
 
F0AM

F0AM

Well-known member
Depressed, tired of people disappointing me. Tired of me for expecting too much (?) From others (like being honest, grateful, true to their words...weird stuff).

There are things I need to change, but it's taking its time.

Curious how some people forget about you like you meant nothing the moment they meet another person who (for whatever reason) is more interesting.
 
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Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Like crap... coming down with the flu. Blocked up, sore throat. But then I haven’t really been taking proper o’ masel’ in past couple o’ years. And I’m getting fed-up relying upon those around me, only to have them let me down.
Keepin’ yer word a bit too much tae ask, huh? :mad: And ye still wonder why ah don’t trust ya... take a wild guess.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Still sucks that every time I see an article about a person with cancer, I look at them with burning envy.
I've done this since my early 20's.
Saw an article about a 12 yr old girl who has brain a brain tumour yesterday. Instantly thought - she doesn't know how lucky she is, if only I could have got a terminal illness at 12 yrs of age!! :(

I would swap a very painful, drawn out death, with my life, any day.
At least at the end of a painful death by cancer, there is relief at the end - the suffering ends. There is no end whatsoever to the daily suffering of my life.
I'm getting worried that the thought of the sadness my few close relatives may feel with me checking out of life voluntarily, may no longer be enough to stop me. The mental anguish is getting to an unbearable stage.... yet again.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Wishing I had the money to emigrate and start a new life somewhere else... :(:mad:

Getting fed-up with having to listen to the petty, childish, "Woe is me !" bull$h!* family drama. Naebuddy seems to spare a thought for how ah feel in aw this. :cry: Or how depressed I am... Naw ! Cuz ah dinnae huv to listen to it... headphones, music, done ! Aye, sure ! Dinnae bother delving deep into why that is, no. Oh, and as for the whole guitar playing thing, ya might want to ask yersel' why rather than how. Cuz ah think - given the how things huv been the past few years - I'm not just playing outta a love of music
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I constantly feel inferior around people with the last few days being particularly bad. Every time I have to talk in front of the class I can feel my face going red, I start to sweat.. I hate it. This feeling of inferiority is a major problem for me. I read today (because I'm so bloody over it I will do just about anything to make it go away) that this ties into feeling like you're being constantly judged by everyone around you. I think it's true for me.

It's so mentally tiring to go about my daily business feeling like everyone is looking at me and judging me. No wonder I like solitude.
Heh. Funny thing is, I know I get lonely with too much solitude.. and I hate that too.

I really feel that my problems are complex and have never truly been identified, more like they have been broadly identified and lumped in with more general stuff. But that leads to an almost misdiagnosis..

I do feel like I'm not good enough (for who I don't know), at times it's like almost.. shame, guilt.. I feel so damn inferior.. it's completely doing my head in.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Struggling... got writer’s block. Trying to finish an instrumental am tryin’ tae write, but ah cannae come up with anything that “works”. :mad: Probably should’ve stuck to doing covers, than trying to do original music.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
So tired of feeling so frustrated and depressed. I feel so stuck for over a week now. I'm seeing family and friends this weekend. It will either cheer me up or make me feel even worse. We'll see.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Who gives a f__k...?! Ah mean, at this point in ma life, ah laugh just to keep maself from breakin’ doon in tears. :cry:

Weird how, as men, we’re telt to talk more about how we’re feeling yet, when we do, it’s usually reacted to with laughs. Not always, but more often than not, it’s how it is. At least in my experience.

But then if ah even open ma gob n’ utter an opinion that isnae in f__kin’ lockstep wae ma mother or my older sisters, I’m the wrong ‘un. Cuz ah jist dinnae understand how difficult it is as women, being a man n’ aw. :mad: They huv’nae a clue what it’s like being disabled. But hey, I’m supposed to give a flying f__k that my older siblings aren’t getting along. As if that’s a big shock in dysfunctional family ! I’m the only yin who recalls that being how our last family holiday together ended.

Getting a bit sick of having to put up with it, like, but there’s no exactly much that can be done about it.
Probably for the best that ah keep quiet n’ just internalise it aw, anyway. :(
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Phoenixx said:
So tired of feeling so frustrated and depressed. I feel so stuck for over a week now. I'm seeing family and friends this weekend. It will either cheer me up or make me feel even worse. We'll see.
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It is amazing how being around good friends or good family members can help to take the edge off someone's high stress levels.
I hope for you that they are in good moods this particular weekend, so being around their happy and uplifting moods, can help you Phoenixx.
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Let me check... yep, I still have a deep seated hatred of myself. Forty-two years and running!​

did-it.jpg
 
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