How are you feeling?

springk

springk

Well-known member
I am feeling odd, my life is so boring. Nothing to look forward, nothing to be excited about, no dreams( not including the unrealisable ones), no friend near by, nothing to talk about, no one to share my true feelings, tired of living this life that will soon be not so young and practically over. I am so negative, so negative wow. No one wants to talk to me I guess, even if they do they don't know real me. I think I should start my own ranting thread, where no one has to read all the same ranting stuff again and again.
 
Regret93

Regret93

Well-known member
I'm really sick of people looking at me like I'm a creep. All I do is try to take it easy and live my life, but people want to start problems with me for no reason, like they're trying to stop me from living my life. I don't even talk to anyone because this is inevitable. They're perfectly fine with each other, but when they see me they act like everything was disrupted, and all I'm doing is walking by. People have become so paranoid and delusional, I don't understand it. I'm just going to get more and more lonely until I die of it somehow, I suppose.
 
springk

springk

Well-known member
I often think if loneliness can kill. It is not fatal like in sense of a disease , but I feel it does affects us so much, that it does has an impact on how long we are going to live.
 
M

Missing

Well-known member
springk said:
I am feeling odd, my life is so boring. Nothing to look forward, nothing to be excited about, no dreams( not including the unrealisable ones)
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I know all this. :/ Every day I wake up and think, "Ok... I woke up again. Now what?" It's hard to find dreams and goals that aren't just impossible to achieve.


I'm just going to get more and more lonely until I die of it somehow, I suppose.
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Sometimes, I kind of wish emotional pain could kill like physical pain/injury can. :/ I mean, on my darkest days, when I hear or feel my heart beat, I sit there and try to will it to stop beating. The ******* won't give up though. :p I'm sure it's good that emotional pain can't kill on it's own. For some people, their life gets better and they're grateful to be alive. But it's sad for those who just end up living a depressing life for the rest of their years.
 
worrywort

worrywort

Well-known member
Bit anxious and unsettled. I have a friend. He's supposedly my best friend, since I've known him since nursery and we've grown up together and kept in touch fairly regularly. Since uni, we got into a routine of meeting up to go to the cinema about once every two months and we'd watch a film and catch up. And that was all we'd ever do. But the last couple of years he's moved to USA, and returned and now has gotten married and had a kid, and suddenly we can't really do the cinema routine anymore. Now I feel like there's more pressure on me to get to know his wife and kid and to do this whole other social thing; the going round for lunch, or going out to dinner, with his whole family, and I really don't want to do this.

One of the things that all these changes are bringing out in me is a worrying emotion I often notice in myself, which is that I'm not sure how close I really am, or have ever been, with my supposed best friend. The idea of never seeing him again doesn't seem to bother me much. In fact right now I'd quite like to distance myself from him more. He's not a bad guy or anything, but I just feel like I don't know how to socialize properly. It always feels like a chore to me, like hard work, and I kinda feel like I've just learnt what to say and when, like you would if you were studying for a maths test. I've just learnt the rules of socializing, so that I can get through my day without bumping into anyone and offending people.

I don't know, it's not like I haven't enjoyed all the time spent with my friend. It's more like I have a fog in my brain that keeps me in the present moment, and thoughts of the past seem meaningless. Like my anxiety for avoiding having to meet my friend and his family tonight is all I care about. It's all-encompassing; so much so that a life-time friendship seems disposable in comparison. There's gotta be something wrong there, and yet it strangely feels right to me. The feeling of running away and burning another bridge, seems like exactly what I want to do right now. It'd bring so much relief and pleasure. God, this anxiety runs so deep, it's so weird. I hope someone out there can understand.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Worried an' anxious... No' sure aboot a lotta things.

Eh, ah hud another hospital appointment yesterday aboot possibly gittin' another round of surgery next year for the first time in over 10 years. Turns out ah'll need 3 surgeries in total. Right hip, knee an' foot. So that could mean rehab'll be longer an' mair painful than last time?

Other than that, insomnia huz bin gittin' oan ma tits, lately. Hardly slept much, ah'm depressed an' miserable as fuc... Which, makes people jist avoid me, no' that ah blame 'em.

Ah'm no' particularly happy or overjoyed at the prospect o' bein' an uncle. Not lookin' forward tae huvin' tae fake ma emotions just tae keep ma family happy.

But it seems ah huv tae pit everybuddy else's needs ahead o' ma ain maist o' the time or else ah'm the selfish yin.

Ah think ah'll jist gie up oan the idea o' genuine happiness.
 
springk

springk

Well-known member
Lonely I guess. Its strange I have not yet accepted the fact, I have not yet got used to this feeling. This emptiness and the utter futility of trying.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Huv'nae bin happy, lately. Just lonely, empty an' unloved. Nuthin' new there.

Ah'm startin' tae think that thing's will'nae change fur me fur the better. Jist got tae make do wi' 'hings as they are. Ah'd be a lot happier if ah could create some distance fae ma family. But ah'm stuck in this vicious circle o' dependence. Ah'd much rather not be around them tae be honest.
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
Hugs to all feeling lonely and sad.

I'm feeling that way myself. I'm actually very depressed. After months of keeping it on the straight and narrow, and trying my hardest but seeing no results, I finally snapped from the pressure. Being normal takes a toll on me, and after a while I can't keep it up.

I feel guilty for not being as good as others. The people i shun, but secretly envy.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
ImNotMyIllness said:
You can do it! :thumbup: Keep telling yourself that you CAN and WILL do it. Sociology is an awesome subject. Really interesting!!
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My issue is that it's a 13-week course condensed into 7. I expect it to be difficult but if I work hard it will be okay. :) I read up a little on sociology and it does look interesting, and I'm keen to get stuck in.

And how are you going? :)
 
I

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
MikeyC said:
My issue is that it's a 13-week course condensed into 7. I expect it to be difficult but if I work hard it will be okay. :) I read up a little on sociology and it does look interesting, and I'm keen to get stuck in.

And how are you going? :)
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Summer courses are a lot faster, which can make it tough. But Sociology is the type of class I would take just for fun. It's a macro version of psychology. I'm sure you'll really enjoy it.

I'm hanging in there. Trying hard to stay afloat(emotionally)....so far, it's working. :)
 
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