How are you feeling?

Having a painful day.

I'm OK. Just ok bleh

So much guilt. So much shame. Feeling face-punchy.

I feel like I'm imploding. It's an odd mix of hunger (yet I can barely force myself to eat anything) and feeling like I could throw up. I've been feeling like this since I woke up 3 hours early this morning for no reason. I guess I'll just laze around all night, like I was going to do anyway.

Inadequate. As always.

Rawz said: ↑

Inadequate. As always.

Aye, ah relate tae that, pal. :sad:

Just waiting, bored and with no one to talk to, to be tired enough to get some rest. Watching The Simpsons.

Back to the loneliness, wonderful.

Pyrophosphate said: ↑

I feel like I'm imploding. It's an odd mix of hunger (yet I can barely force myself to eat anything) and feeling like I could throw up. I've been feeling like this since I woke up 3 hours early this morning for no reason. I guess I'll just laze around all night, like I was going to do anyway.

^ Feeling like you could throw up probably has to do with the fact you're hungry. Low blood sugar perhaps?


I'm feeling shitty. Really isn't how I wanted to spend my Saturday morning. So much for having a weekend. :thumbdown: I actually can't wait for the holiday to get here, for once.

^ Ah feel like Eeyore fae Winnie the Pooh, a majority o' the time.

Should ah feel excited at the prospect o' bein' an uncle? Probably, but sadly ah don't. But then past experiences wi' ma family huz taught me tae never get emotionally attached. Ah wonderin' if they'd miss me if I was gone? Ah doubt they'd even notice, tae be honest...

Anyway, ah just feel as empty and insignificant as ever. :sad:

Insomnia and depression're daein ma heid in. Lack o' sleep, lack o' energy...

Feel ashamed an' guilt that ah constantly huv tae put this fake act and hide ma depression aw the time. Fake happiness isnae true, genuine happiness - it the illusion of that.

Oan top o' that, ah huv this desperate desire o' wantin' tae git away fae the wee toon that ah live in. But that probably will'nae solve ma problems, apart fae get me away fae people who've made me feel miserable an' bad aboot masel'.

Mind you, it must be nice tae be around people who didnae treat you like ye were just there for their convenience, their amusement. People who make ye feel like ye belonged, who care aboot ye and loved ye. Accepted ye for who you are an' such. People who didnae make ye feel inadequate. Oh, well! Cannae huv everythin'.

Having a hard time coping with loneliness and holiday depression. I usually try to keep myself occupied with something but it's not working. It really doesn't help for me to come on and post my problems and worries here which is why I usually don't but this has to get out. Every year it seems to get worse. I can't imagine how 2015 will be.

I'm also back to drinking full on everyday. I tried quiting once for a couple of months but I coundn't maintain it. I took this past week off for vacation to try and relax. I think every single day I made a trip to the corner store on a beer run.

I have almost no energy to get up, no motivation to try something new and nothing excites me anymore. All I have is this feeling of emptiness.

JuiceB said: ↑

I have almost no energy to get up, no motivation to try something new and nothing excites me anymore. All I have is this feeling of emptiness.

^ Ah know that feelin' aw too well. Coz ah've bin feelin' like that fur a while noo. Also, ah'm strugglin' wi' insomnia as per usual. :thumbdown:

I would be very surprised (astonished) if I make it another year beyond 2015.

Graeme1988 said: ↑

^ Ah know that feelin' aw too well. Coz ah've bin feelin' like that fur a while noo. Also, ah'm strugglin' wi' insomnia as per usual. :thumbdown:

Same here. I always get only a half nights rest no matter how early I go to bed, even on non-workdays.

ImNotMyIllness said: ↑

I would be very surprised (astonished) if I make it another year beyond 2015.

Why? .......

MikeyC said: ↑

Why? .......

I'm just done with it all and it appears done with me too. But, we'll see.

ImNotMyIllness said: ↑

I'm just done with it all and it appears done with me too. But, we'll see.

Things are that bad? I'm really sorry to hear it. You're always willing to help others here that you've likely forgotten about yourself. Look after yourself and I hope things get better in 2015. 🙂

They are. Thanks Mikey! I hope so too!

ImNotMyIllness said: ↑

They are. Thanks Mikey! I hope so too!

Is it anything you want to talk about? Maybe getting some of it out there can help with the repairs.

MikeyC said: ↑

Is it anything you want to talk about? Maybe getting some of it out there can help with the repairs.

I just need the strength to get a job and get out of my living situation....but, I just lost all hope.

That being said, I'm still alive, so maybe I'll be able to turn things around.