Having a hard time coping with loneliness and holiday depression. I usually try to keep myself occupied with something but it's not working. It really doesn't help for me to come on and post my problems and worries here which is why I usually don't but this has to get out. Every year it seems to get worse. I can't imagine how 2015 will be.
I'm also back to drinking full on everyday. I tried quiting once for a couple of months but I coundn't maintain it. I took this past week off for vacation to try and relax. I think every single day I made a trip to the corner store on a beer run.
I have almost no energy to get up, no motivation to try something new and nothing excites me anymore. All I have is this feeling of emptiness.
Its really hard to cope with loneliness JuiceB. And same goes for emptiness too. I find it really hard to deal with and it gets too much, way too much. Do you think the feeling will fade away? Mine does for a brief period of time but comes back again. I hope you are feeling better now. I am sorry I don't have any useful thing to say. I just wish you find a way out of your problems.
Its really hard to cope with loneliness JuiceB. And same goes for emptiness too. I find it really hard to deal with and it gets too much, way too much. Do you think the feeling will fade away? Mine does for a brief period of time but comes back again. I hope you are feeling better now. I am sorry I don't have any useful thing to say. I just wish you find a way out of your problems.
Thanx. I'm whining about it now but its really taking its toll on me.
Let's see the way the day turns around. I woke up with an odd dream ending abruptly, and I managed to turn that odd dream into something I would fancy. That's deliberate dreaming. I am so addicted to making up dreams.
They were discussing conduct of treatment. They've been scratching the walls because they're indoor cats and like to press their weight against something, but we've recently redone the wallpaper.
A frustrating thing, I know. But it's a problem that is very easily solved by scratching posts and some passive disciplinary enforcement. But they immediately jump to the laziest solution, which is to let them outside. Considering one can't even hold her food down and the other is a coward I'm not going to even consider that. Amongst a multitude of other reasons.
It wouldn't even been so bad if I were included in the conversation so I could tell them no and provide a better solution. What ticks me off beyond reason is that they box me out because they think they know best. Which I find arrogant and extremely condescending and disrespectful. They can barely interact with them, let alone make decisions regarding their health and safety. It feels like a betrayal of my trust.
Lonely. Nothing new.
I feel I am getting depressed more often, not that I am not depressed most of the time. I can't understand how can I be okay.
It seems that I am meant to be alone and hurting. I think , life sucks majority of time.
Was walking to the train station after school with a guy that used to be my roommate, I never talked much to him really, I felt awkward the whole time trying to think what to talk or how to reply. I don't feel anxious like if I was walking with a girl, only a bit because I always am where there's many people walking around, but the problem is I just don't know what to talk and when my voice is hoarse it's worse.
Doon. Depressed. Lonely... That feelin' of emptiness. That feelin' like there's just nae point. That feelin' when everyone around you is so happy, yet yer miserable. :sad:
Dreading something five days away. Have to work with someone I find intimidating. I'm going to put on my brave face of course, and try my best to not let anxiety get the better of me. But that isn't helping with the dread and the potential bad feelings that might occur during my shift. Iwish I knew of an effective way to deal with the situation.
A bad headache from my housewarming party and drinking (woops). And a dry throat as hell (cough). But the good thing is that I'm laying on the couch with my lover and the dog next to us. And i'm happy with my own house 🙂 it's so nice to have finally moved out and been lucky with a big house. And my SA has been reduced so much by therapy and coaching and my extroverted girlfriend. And been making lots of friends. It's really cool. But still I got loads of insecurity issues, but i've reached far by now. But haven't completed my quest.
A bad headache from my housewarming party and drinking (woops). And a dry throat as hell (cough). But the good thing is that I'm laying on the couch with my lover and the dog next to us. And i'm happy with my own house 🙂 it's so nice to have finally moved out and been lucky with a big house. And my SA has been reduced so much by therapy and coaching and my extroverted girlfriend. And been making lots of friends. It's really cool. But still I got loads of insecurity issues, but i've reached far by now. But haven't completed my quest.
Stopped taking one of my medications because I was so sedated I could barely get out of bed (though couldn't sleep) Obviously judgment being impaired, I decided on "just a few shots" and a few turned into I think maybe seven or eight? (Was playing Skyrim so not focusing)
Ended up crying in the bathroom. xD Was able to get a few hours of sleep but now I'm wide awake with a major headache. At least I got some relief. I can't cry no matter what with all this freaking medication. But regardless, I'll get back on the one I stopped.
My dad finally reached out to me after months of silence. That was nice. In his defense he has no idea what I'm going through. I'd rather not burden my family. ^-^
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