I feel like shit, i am also going in circles, i thought i came to accept my 'life' as it is now but unfortunately everyone will always bother me and i myself, so i cant;
Unhappy most of the time, dull, i feel adicted (no heavy stuff just everything i put into my body), weak, hopeless, childish, unmotivated, mostly negative. I keep going back to my bad side because there is something that i find pulls me back, i think i like some aspects of sadness and negativity alot, this is impossible to describe.
I just want to sleep and live in a nice warm fuzzy dream, drown every bad thought that goes through my stupid ****ed up mind, i just want to be myself.. im sick of everything.
EDIT: i want to pour my heart out (in a good way), put it into my own songs that i cant make because im too ashamed and unskilled, i want to cry but i cant accept myself even when im alone in a room, can you imagine being too ashamed of yourself you cant even cry to yourself when you know you are alone and noone but yourself will hear you!?