How are you feeling?

Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
The end of a week that got off to a bad start. Monday jury service, I attended under duress not a willingness to serve, was excused in the end. With my anxiety I wouldn't be up to serving on a jury, might get a medical certificate next time. With my anxiety sometimes I feel as if I am on trial.

After this I got on a roll of angry thoughts about the town I live in and the office I work in and how these places have contributed to my ill health. I'd been feeling neutral about this town the last little while.

I went to a meeting, and it was with a bunch of whinging botanists who can't seem to agree on anything, my anxiety wasn't bad, but I just wanted to escape. One the botanist stridently criticised a project I have been working on, and specifically the number of sites allocated to be done. Made me feel useless and paranoid.

I thought I don't enjoy being involved in this community of botanists too much whinging, criticising and competition. I felt so glad I can run, and I wanted to escape and think and live running. .

And lastly cross country starts up this weekend, and the bad memories of last year, and the meltdown I had come flooding back
 
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Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
Kiwong said:
The end of a week that got off to a bad start. Monday jury service, I attended under duress not a willingness to serve, was excused in the end. With my anxiety I wouldn't be up to serving on a jury, might get a medical certificate next time. With my anxiety sometimes I feel as if I am on trial.

After this I got on a roll of angry thoughts about the town I live in and the office I work in and how these places have contributed to my ill health. I'd been feeling neutral about this town the last little while.

I went to a meeting, and it was with a bunch of whinging botanists who can't seem to agree on anything, my anxiety wasn't bad, but I just wanted to escape. One the botanist stridently criticised a project I have been working on, and specifically the number of sites allocated to be done. Made me feel useless and paranoid.

I thought I don't enjoy being involved in this community of botanists too much whinging, criticising and competition. I felt so glad I can run, and I wanted to escape and think and live running. .

And lastly cross country starts up this weekend, and the bad memories of last year, and the meltdown I had come flooding back
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I can relate. Next week can be better... glad you have running to be such a source of freedom and relaxation for you. This new cross country can fill over last years bad memory with good one. Easier said, than done I know all too well... =)
 
DespairSoul

DespairSoul

Well-known member
vj288 said:
Pathetic. I don't remember having such a hard time using crosswalks and going to stores to be so extremely difficult before. I think I'm going to email my therapist to start going again, this is embarrassingly ridiculous.
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I'm sorry to hear that VJ! Good idea contact your therapist. Is happened to u first time with stores and crosswalks? Did u notice it before ever?
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
insecure on the level of insanity. afraid of everyone and everything, literally. but i push myself and make myself go through the motions out of the sheer need for survival. even though i am cracking. and i pretend they can't notice i'm cracking. it gives them secondhand embarrassment, pity. if i think about that it might be the last straw on the camel's back.
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
EasySkanking said:
Fine :rolleyes:

*starts moving like a wobbly octopus*

Yup, feel pretty unique now :D
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BlueRingOctopus.gif
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
phocas said:
Ok but fuddled. As though my brain is running on half power. This used to happen to me often, but hasn't for a while. I left the market as I was uncomfortable around people, I even avoided two people I know. Not sure why it happens.
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A sort of protection mechanism when the anxiety is bad it takes too much energy to talk to people? Anxiety and panic really sucks the energy out of me. Although through some breathing and relaxation techniques I did, I felt suddenly more alive and my thoughts were lighter somehow
 
DespairSoul

DespairSoul

Well-known member
Sial Axetder said:
Believe you understand much that is going on around you. You may feel you do not but you know what's going on.

Hoping once you realized you know you'll feel better, without frustration.
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Thank u Sial:) nice of u try cheer me up. I appreciate it. Maybe i understand what's going on for one side but for other i don't. I have twisted thinking :/ If come ones day where i will not feel insane for who i'm and for triggers which bring me almost each day i will be free so free;)
 
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