How are you feeling?

Srijita52

Well-known member
Anxious, overwhelmed. I have to interact with people a lot lately because of work related reasons. It has forced me to finally face my fears. Been trying to manage it by breaking it down to small goals and trying to meet them everyday. The whole process is still pretty draining though and I feel like I'm anxious most of the time.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Tired. Not sure how I feel about my job yet. I mean, it's a total hot mess where I'm working no thanks to COVID, but still. Management could be better. Rather, my manager could be better. I don't know how I feel about her yet either. Her training is either, explain simple things thoroughly but only have me do one simple task and not direct me when I'm done with said task or throw harder jobs at me and not explain a thing, or explain it in a way that can't be understood well because you leave out details. I experienced the latter today. Good thing I have prior experience tracking numbers and such in production settings because having that knowledge saved my ass. She came in at the latter half of the production after leaving for over an hour to help finish after my other coworker left, then nearly made me panic after she screwed up her own count because she missed a few products that I had already finished. :rolleyes:🤦‍♀️ I noticed this with her too, she seems to screw up counts or numbers recorded with production, which I'm assuming is due to just carelessness. Hopefully once I'm all trained I'll be leading productions with my other coworker while she can go back to doing the business side of things. The control freak in me is itching for that. 😏

But until then, I just stand back, do what needs to be done, and keep my mouth shut. 🤐 I'm at least liking the physical work. It's nice to move around a lot throughout the day vs sitting or standing at a desk in front of a screen the entire day. 💪
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
🥺 My depression seems to be getting the better of me. Though, not having my own routine around the house like I used does'nae help. Everything's got to be dictated by my mother and siblings, and I'm not allowed to disagree or else I'm a selfish [email protected]$%@#*. The only time ah seem to have any control over my life or decision is when I'm being creative. But then that's the only time my problems seems to disappear, when I'm playing my electric guitar or keyboard. What a sad feckin' life, eh?
 

FountainandFairfax

the only prescription is more cowbell
The only time ah seem to have any control over my life or decision is when I'm being creative. But then that's the only time my problems seems to disappear, when I'm playing my electric guitar or keyboard. What a sad feckin' life, eh?
That makes sense, Graeme. My favorite philosopher, Schopenhauer, said that we're at our best when lost in artistic contemplation. He said it's basically the best state a human being can be in, the only time when we're truly free from all the trouble and boredom of this miserable human life.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
That makes sense, Graeme. My favorite philosopher, Schopenhauer, said that we're at our best when lost in artistic contemplation. He said it's basically the best state a human being can be in, the only time when we're truly free from all the trouble and boredom of this miserable human life.
Well, Schopenhauer is right - at least, speaking from my own experience.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yay! Now my mistrust of my own family hasn't just been validated - it's feckin' justified! :mad:

Let down yet again, but hey ho, I'm more than used to it. That's how's it's been most of my life.
But ah cannae get pissed off or upset about it, though, cuz then it's me who's in the wrong. Despite it being me who has to make sure their feck-up gets sorted - and they wonder why I am the way I am.
 
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FountainandFairfax

the only prescription is more cowbell
Yay! Now my mistrust of my own family hasn't just been validated - it's feckin' justified! :mad:

Let down yet again, but hey ho, I'm more than used to it. That's how's it's been most of my life.
But ah cannae get pissed off or upset about it, though, cuz then it's me who's in the wrong. Despite it being me who has to make sure their feck-up gets sorted - and they wonder why I am the way I am.
What did they do?
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
What did they do?
My oldest sister went and flung out concerts tickets for shows we had booked that got postponed, claiming we wouldn't need 'em. I get an email today saying if you'd previously booked for the shows, the original tickets would still be valid. So now we're either going to have to rebook or see if we can get new tickets sent out. And I'd told her tickets might still be valid at the time of the shows being postponed.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah don't know, you tell me... how would you feel if every time ya tried to help certain members o' yer ain family, they go in the huff and flee off the handle at ye? As per usual, it's me who's the a-hole - even though ah never did anything to provoke the hostile reaction. :mad: 🥺
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
Exhausted I guess. It's tiring to keep pushing my limits. I just wish I could stop and take a breather. Just a little more I guess. Till then I have to find tiny windows here and there.

I think I should actually take a moment to also stop and think about how difficult it has been to live with SA all these years and moving ahead with it. I know it'll always be challenging but I'm glad I have made it so far.
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I'm feeling awful wondering how undeserving, and unworthy I am to be a husband, and a father considering how uncaring I've been on both fronts this week. Working from home was exciting at the start, but at times, I miss my office and the routine of going to work. That mood has seaped into my mind this week, and of course, it hasn't improved.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Depressed and pissed. :( :mad:

Though, this time it's not because I've been wronged. It's because - a few hours after my older sister berated our mother over the phone for merely asking if it'd be okay if the oldest sibling takes something up to her house to save her having drive all the way down to ours to collect it - my mother told me that I'm actually the only one of her kids who doesn't get argumentative or flee off the handle at her when I'm asked to do something by her. And I'm apparently the only one who will say sorry to her after we argue - like, hours after we've had a massive row.

My mum also apologised to me for yesterday, when she yelled at me for trying to help her.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Like I don't matter... but what else is new. I'm used to be told how I feel is wrong and that ah haven't any reason to be depressed. 🥺
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
How am I feeling? Ultimately as if I'm just banging my head against a wall, really. Every time I say how I feel, I'm invalidated; like everything I just said meant nuthin'. Every time I try to help, I get this vicious, hostile reaction. Every time I try to the peacemaker trying to resolve a family argument, I'm told to fuck off and call a bully. Ha! The irony...

And they still ask me why I've turned out how I did; why I rarely ask them to help me. Like they can't figure that out for themselves. :mad:
 
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