How are you feeling?

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I feel like a mess. Or the aftermath of a mess. I don't know. I know part of it is all PMS crap, but I just really haven't been in a good place the last couple weeks. Tired of being angry, tired of being sad, tired of feeling jealousy, tired of feeling lonely, tired of feeling tired.

By the end of this week I'll have worked around 50 hours. I already had 2 hours of overtime scheduled, but the other day I wasn't even out of bed an hour and I got phoned into work out of desperation since a coworker called in and has been repeatedly causing issues for everyone else recently. My sleep is still sucking, but getting a little bit better at the moment. I know it won't last. But I just ordered a weighted blanket to hopefully help with my anxiety at night. We'll see how that goes when it arrives next week.

These hours worked wouldn't be bothering me so bad if 1) I actually got a full night's sleep and wasn't woken up continuously at the buttcrack of dawn and 2) if I didn't have such a workload to wake up to every single day. I don't mind having what I have, but it's not shared work like it's supposed to be. I won't dump my personal life on here or go into details. I'm just having a hard time adjusting to living a life that feels like a single life, yet I'm picking up after a roommate and doing their workload too. A roommate who's parents are also completely ignoring my existence for absolutely no reason that I'm trying my best to just let go and let them be petulant children about whatever stick is up their ass this time.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I feel weird. I've been feeling quite good these past few days, something a wee bit outta character for. Normally, I'm in a bit of a cranky mood and lacking energy in the morning. But then I am about to start work on a song collaboration (my first one, so I hope all goes well? 🤞). So that might explain why I've not felt miserable and tired for the last week. :unsure:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
A little pissed off that my mum is constantly dismissive when I call her out for the things she says to me. Like today, how she thought it'd be "funny" - in response to asking me what I was up to, and me replying that I was working on that song I've agreed to rewrite the music for - to say in a dismissive tone: "Ah, why bother? Just forget about it!". :mad:

To which I asked what was I supposed to be doing; trying my best to stay calm on the outside even though, internally, I was raging. She gave me her usual answer: "Ah don't know...". Then left my room to let me get on with things.
 
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PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Ah cannae git anything done when the weather is like this. The heat... Jeez! I'm roasting! 🥵

It's too warm! Being Scottish, I'm not used to these sorta temperatures. More accustomed to the weather climate normally associated with Scotland. Y'know, the black clouds, freezing temperatures and horizontal rain.

I'd apologise for being true to the stereotype, but we always complain even if we have a day of sunshine.

Hopefully, my shower will get fixed today. I went get one yesterday, and it wasn't working properly. Called a plumber and they should be out to fix it sometime this morning.
My favorite weather, rainy, windy, overcast. I enjoy the nice sunny days, perfect being around 25 degrees Celsius too. But damn I hate Summer here in Oz.. as soon as it gets 35 -45.. you just roast outside. I'll come live in Scotland I think Graeme.. rolling hills.. old castles.. hiking forever.. cold weather.. hot meals in pubs :p
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, that's it! It finally happened...

I've had an emotional breakdown. 😖 😢😭 That's been a few years in the making. Just building and building. Until this morning, when I realised my mum doesn't care and has no real interest in changing for the better. It's better being in denial, innit? Just plaster on a fake smile and pretend it's grand. Everything's fine.

F__kin' sick of being the "...good son. The good brother". Sick of having to be burdened with the responsibility always on me. Sick of being telt how I have no reason to be depressed, shouldn't complain about my life. Aye, because disabled and having to put up with a dysfunctional family — such a blessing, right?
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, that's it! It finally happened...

I've had an emotional breakdown. 😖 😢😭 That's been a few years in the making. Just building and building. Until this morning, when I realised my mum doesn't care and has no real interest in changing for the better. It's better being in denial, innit? Just plaster on a fake smile and pretend it's grand. Everything's fine.

F__kin' sick of being the "...good son. The good brother". Sick of having to be burdened with the responsibility always on me. Sick of being telt how I have no reason to be depressed, shouldn't complain about my life. Aye, because disabled and having to put up with a dysfunctional family — such a blessing, right?
This wee breakdown actually did me some good today. After I had a good cry, I felt a bit better, not by much, but it made me focus. And, as a result, I think I've figured out how to fix that song I was recently asked to help rewrite.
 

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
Yeah, I won city, state, and even one national art competition as a kid. :censored:

Girls walking up to you at stores AND a national art award winner? :unsure:

Okay, here's my theory. While we all assumed Jack Dawson died during the sinking of The Titanic, the Iceberg was made of water that had drifted from the fountain of youth, where he eventually washed up on shore alive. He lived there awhile, socially isolating himself and losing a few of his social charms, but not his charming good looks, or amazing drawing ability.

One day, a small plane flies over the island, and sees a small fire, picking him up and bringing him back into society. Jack is still sharp enough to know that people won't believe that he was on the Titanic though, so he changes his name. A family takes him in, raising him as their own. No one is wiser.

Jack, or should I say FountainandFairfax, now lives quietly in the United States.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Girls walking up to you at stores AND a national art award winner? :unsure:

Okay, here's my theory. While we all assumed Jack Dawson died during the sinking of The Titanic, the Iceberg was made of water that had drifted from the fountain of youth, where he eventually washed up on shore alive. He lived there awhile, socially isolating himself and losing a few of his social charms, but not his charming good looks, or amazing drawing ability.

One day, a small plane flies over the island, and sees a small fire, picking him up and bringing him back into society. Jack is still sharp enough to know that people won't believe that he was on the Titanic though, so he changes his name. A family takes him in, raising him as their own. No one is wiser.

Jack, or should I say FountainandFairfax, now lives quietly in the United States.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Nervous... really nervous. 😬

I think I've "fixed" that song that I was just asked to rewrite nearly a week ago. And I've gone and done it in 2 days... :D It's been a while since I wrote a song within that amount of time. Or, rewritten in this case. I just hope the singer is happy with the suggested changes I want to make before I get the instrumental arrangement re-recorded for her to sing over. 🙁:unsure:😣🤞
 

lily

Well-known member
Long time no write. I feel nice in a way that I was able to reduce my medication from 7.5 mg to 6.5 mg, doing 0.25-0.5mg reduction per week which my psychiatrist said I could try and so far it's going ok as I still have the lying down, a lot of lack of motivation feeling from this medication which bothers my day
 
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