How are you feeling?

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Tired with a lot on my plate. Not complaining about everything, but I just really wish I didn't have to wait an entire week for another day off. My hands are so full with the farm life right now, plus work, plus general house stuffs. 😩 This week I have found myself crashing in the afternoons now, right before having to leave for work. I hate being this tired, ugh...
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Working on having a mental breakdown already today. I just have so much I'm getting behind on and can't even seem to catch a single fucking break. 😣 I'm so tired from working 3 different shift changes the last 3 days. Thankfully the rest of the week is consistent and I'm back on my regular shift, but still. Only getting around 6 full hours of sleep a night is wrecking me. I don't know how some people thrive on that because I definitely can't. 😫
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Just trying not let on that I'm really worried about my mother's health, after overhearing her and my oldest sister discussing it yesterday afternoon. 😔 But I feel that if I mentioned it, my mother will just start arguing and twisting my words to make me seem like the bad yin, as always. That I'm picking on her, when me saying that she's got to try and look after herself better is coming from a place of genuine concern.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Try to pamper yourself more and slow down you might just be doing too much? Hot baths with candles and relaxing music always put my mind at ease. Get yourself some really nice smelling herbal type hey- what about goat milk bath? :) That’s my favorite ha
I know I'm doing too much and there's not too much else I can do about it. I just have to keep pushing for another month and hopefully things will slow down and get easier.

I know I've been super sensitive this week. It's a combination of PMS, exhaustion, and pent up frustrations. Everyone has been getting to me this week, but it's also the holiday weekend which hasn't helped.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Great that my mother and I managed to get her bedroom tidied out. My oldest sister helped out, so what should've taken over a week was done in just 4 days. Now it's just my room that needs the same tidying out. :)

Aside from that, I'm quite annoyed at myself. Annoyed that I let anxiety and fear get the better of me a lot of the time. I hate feeling so self-conscious about myself. 😔

Like, I realised that, at some point, I'm going have speak to that singer who I've agreed to collaborate with on a song, by sending her a voice memo via WhatsApp. Because she's sent me multiple voice memos already - as replies to my text questions, asking questions me, in response to my long winded text answers that I gave to a few of her questions, etc. And I've yet to send her a single one, which I feel bad about for that very reason.

But I'm going have to, eventually, because there are some aspects of the production side of things which could easily end up getting misinterpreted or lost in translation if I just send a message instead verbally articulating my thoughts. The recording of the drums being main concern, before I even pick up my guitar to start writing any music.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Great that my mother and I managed to get her bedroom tidied out. My oldest sister helped out, so what should've taken over a week was done in just 4 days. Now it's just my room that needs the same tidying out. :)

Aside from that, I'm quite annoyed at myself. Annoyed that I let anxiety and fear get the better of me a lot of the time. I hate feeling so self-conscious about myself. 😔

Like, I realised that, at some point, I'm going have speak to that singer who I've agreed to collaborate with on a song, by sending her a voice memo via WhatsApp. Because she's sent me multiple voice memos already - as replies to my text questions, asking questions me, in response to my long winded text answers that I gave to a few of her questions, etc. And I've yet to send her a single one, which I feel bad about for that very reason.

But I'm going have to, eventually, because there are some aspects of the production side of things which could easily end up getting misinterpreted or lost in translation if I just send a message instead verbally articulating my thoughts. The recording of the drums being main concern, before I even pick up my guitar to start writing any music.
Regarding the anxiety, I'm guessing that we all can empathize with you on that mate. On the stuff about your invitation to collaborate music, that's simply awesome and you should be really proud! I get that anxieties can get in the way, but this is some recognition for your talent and something you deserve. Who knows where it can lead? It's exciting and I'm sure you'll work it out :)

Rock on
🤟
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Regarding the anxiety, I'm guessing that we all can empathize with you on that mate.
Aye. Ah know...

Still, it's annoying that my anxiety has flares up now, and intruded on my thoughts. It couldnae huv picked a worse time. This early in the creative process... when ah huv'nae even picked up my guitar n' played a single note? 🤬

That said, I'm not going to start letting anxiety ruin my creativity, especially in relation to music.

Naw! I've been through the self-doubt phase with my music already. When I - clearly in denial - argued with my oldest sister over how I'd managed to attract record labels interested in promoting my music on SoundCloud based solely off the first track I'd ever upload to that site. Because it was the first time I'd put my music out there, into the world, just over a year after I got more familiar with the recording and production side of making music.

Our argument was not too dissimilar to this scene from Metallica's Some Kind of Monster documentary... with me behaving like Lars. 😂
On the stuff about your invitation to collaborate music, that's simply awesome and you should be really proud! I get that anxieties can get in the way, but this is some recognition for your talent and something you deserve. Who knows where it can lead? It's exciting and I'm sure you'll work it out :)

Rock on
🤟
Oh, I am proud! Well chuffed about the collaboration in fact. Especially as it my most recent melodic guitar idea that secured me the gig. 😁

Wus'nae too sure if it'd happen or not, but am excited that it's going ahead and now in the early stages. Even if ah wus quite taken aback, initially, at the thought of having write the whole instrumental arrangement, but I'll manage. I must be good if reaction to my music on SoundCloud has been overwhelmingly positive from the start?

I just I hope I can deliver and write a really good rock song based on the outline that the singer's gave me as far as the sound she has in mind. 🤞
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Back to worrying about my mum's health. 😔 She doesn't know what's wrong, my sisters and I haven't a clue. We could only speculate. I just noticed something wasn't right with her this morning.

So, mum phones our local GP surgery, and upon mum explaining what's wrong, the doctor on the other end of the phone starts asking how long she's had these symptoms and if she taking medication for them. 😡 Bloody useless. I kept quiet, but in my head, I'm swearing away to myself. I mean, you'd think a doctor would be able, maybe not diagnose over the phone, but give a speculative answer, no? "Well, go by what you described, it sounds like it could be this. Or might be this..."

Though my mum, sharp as ever, just answers back with: "Well, eh, ah wus hoping you'd be able to tell me. That's why am phoning, Ah don't know what's wrong, do ah? Ah can't diagnose maself". 😂
 
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