How are you feeling?

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Feeling so agitated this morning. Three nights in a row woken up by weird dreams and feeling anxious. This morning had a weird dream resulting in me being angry for some reason. Tried to go back to sleep, was kept awake by anxious thoughts, then when I finally DID fall back asleep I was woken up by the damn garbage truck at 5:30am. :rolleyes:
 

FountainandFairfax

the only prescription is more cowbell
Feeling so agitated this morning. Three nights in a row woken up by weird dreams and feeling anxious. This morning had a weird dream resulting in me being angry for some reason. Tried to go back to sleep, was kept awake by anxious thoughts, then when I finally DID fall back asleep I was woken up by the damn garbage truck at 5:30am. :rolleyes:
I've started taking Benadryl at night because of this. It makes me feel less-restless, and when I do wake up it's easier to fall back asleep. I just have to be careful with the dosage, if I take too much I feel groggy all-day the next day.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I've started taking Benadryl at night because of this. It makes me feel less-restless, and when I do wake up it's easier to fall back asleep. I just have to be careful with the dosage, if I take too much I feel groggy all-day the next day.
Ah, yeah. Benadryl hits me hard too. Benadryl also leaves me wheezy with my asthma, as sometimes antihistamines can have a drying effect. So I try not to take it too often.

Ultimately what's keeping me up at night with anxiety is just some unresolved tension I've been carrying around still from my last job. I hate to admit it. It's hard for me to move on from things that have really effected me. I'm just slowly poisoning myself hanging onto baggage, yet can never seem to let go. So lately in the middle of the night when I'm anxious, I've been reading mindful and wellness articles which have been helping. I actually just did a large exercise I read about last night which you write a letter to the person who hurt you, but you don't send it. It's just for you, as if what you want to say to them and then critically think about why you want to say those things. I think this will wind up helping tremendously. I already feel pretty good. Now I'm late to my trip to the store because of it. :LOL: I needed to take this time this morning to do it though. 2 hours and 5 pages. Jesus, I didn't think I had that much pent up guilt and sorrow and anger still, but I did. :(:confused:
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Feeling much better this morning. I managed to sleep through the night up until I woke up this time at 4am after a weird dream and my husband's alarm going off shortly after. Spent an hour with cycling thoughts before falling back asleep and waking up right at 7am. Not perfect, but definitely improved. And at least my weird dream this time wasn't a borderline nightmare.

Now I hope I have the energy to get some things done today. The last little bit of summer has been hanging on the last couple days with the temps being above 90F, just adding to my sluggishness. Today's supposed to be a bit cooler at 83F.

Edit: Forgot to add that I deleted FB off my phone entirely and that has helped A TON. No more feeling the urge to have to check social media just because my phone is nearby. I'm now only checking on my computer when I'm actually on it, but even then only looking at notifications and messages and nothing else. No mindless scrolling, no getting caught up in our country's corruption and bullshit thanks to an inept government, no more wondering what I'm-not-a-racist-because-I-go-to-church family member or "friend" is going to comment defending our orange dictator or telling me how some people probably "deserved it" regarding the violence that's been going on or sending me a "coronavirus is a hoax!" or "what drs don't really want you to know about coronavirus!" videos. I think I burned some bridges there because I started calling them out on their ignorance. Basically told them that in order to actually have a debate they needed to have factual information, reliable sources, and take the time to form cohesive sentences that are legible if you expect me to take the time to read it because if they couldn't do any of that then they shouldn't even bother. No one's commented in a while. :LOL:

A really bad habit of mine I was noticing is whenever I'd wake up in a bad mood, I'd immediately open FB and start reading news stories and reposting and commenting on whatever dumb thing our president did that day, or whatever ignorant thing supporters did that day. Thinking ranting would make me feel better and let me have an outlet to release my agitation when really it just made it worse because it was just adding fuel to the fire. No more of that. I'm really trying to kick that habit.
 
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FountainandFairfax

the only prescription is more cowbell
Man, the Benadryl hit different last night. :LOL:

I had to peel myself off the bed this morning. I could've slept three more hours, easily. I've been going to bed really early and getting up early too, the last week or so.

If I'm not a night owl, I'm an early bird. :rolleyes:
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I've been feeling this lately too. A slow burn of anxiety into a realm of madness. I actually feel like I'm on the verge of going completely insane some of these days. Definitely depressed. Have gotten joy out of little these past few months and especially this month. It's atrocious. You're not alone.

Feeling good enough to post here atm though. :)

Is the driving, albeit stressful, improving at least?
It has been two years since I'd say I've started to drive again after a period of a decade of not driving, or driving less frequently. I don't think I'm at a stage where I can drive in a calm state of mind - even taking a short journey gives me anxiety, thinking about every situation that may develop or happen (accidents, car breaking down on me and not knowing what to do) and my reaction when something happens (a bad gear change, close shaves or near accidents) to cuss and sweat. I think everytime I drive I get out of the car sweating. So in short lol - the jury is still out. Some days good, especially when I drive consistently without any issues, and some days I just don't want to but have to.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
It has been two years since I'd say I've started to drive again after a period of a decade of not driving, or driving less frequently. I don't think I'm at a stage where I can drive in a calm state of mind - even taking a short journey gives me anxiety, thinking about every situation that may develop or happen (accidents, car breaking down on me and not knowing what to do) and my reaction when something happens (a bad gear change, close shaves or near accidents) to cuss and sweat. I think everytime I drive I get out of the car sweating. So in short lol - the jury is still out. Some days good, especially when I drive consistently without any issues, and some days I just don't want to but have to.
Sounds like you're really overthinking. I posted this the other day and have really tried to purposely cut down my worrying, limiting it to 30 minutes a day. Articles at the end of that article are also useful.

I'm afraid to say it actually works, but it feels like it's working.
 
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Phoenixx

Well-known member
I've been trying to work through this funk all day. I signed up to volunteer at a local foodbank this Thursday. I hope I like it, because if I do I'll make it a regular thing every week. It'll help get me out of the house to form a new network and maybe get me new leads on jobs. Sadly couldn't volunteer at the local animal shelter as much as I would've preferred to because they're not taking any new volunteers right now due to COVID. :rolleyes::confused:
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Still waking up sad and depressed as usual, but at least I FINALLY got a full night's sleep without any nightmares. Weird dreams, sure, but nothing that left me feeling agitated or scared. I'm still tired, now that my body feels like it can catch up on a week's worth of lost rest, but it was so relieving not waking up in the middle of the night several times. Wish I could go right back to bed, but now I have to get my butt out the door to do my grocery shopping and still take out the garbage.
 

Miserum

Well-known member
Sounds like you're really overthinking. I posted this the other day and have really tried to purposely cut down my worrying, limiting it to 30 minutes a day. Articles at the end of that article are also useful.

I'm afraid to say it actually works, but it feels like it's working.
@SilentAndShy By the way, the way I personally practice "not overthinking" is by staying cognizant of my thought flow throughout the day. If I feel that I'm overthinking about something, I literally stop myself from thinking about it. I just tell myself to block it out and then I turn my focus to other things.
 
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