How are you feeling?

Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
So tired. I didn't sleep well last night - cat's dish was empty and she thought the world was ending so she kept waking me up. :rolleyes: This heat today is not helping any either. :sleep: Plus PMS. Yeah, great combo. I'm actually surprised I'm not grumpier. :unsure::LOL: Probably because despite everything I still managed to accomplish two bigger projects today, so that makes me a little relieved.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Feeling like a piece of shit today. I was doing alright, then an old college peer contacted me today about a job position - the very position I just declined a second interview for, lol. I guess she's working there at another branch too (seems like a lot of college peers are working through this company, it's kinda odd) and really likes it. Told me she wishes "I reached out" with my issues for what the company was asking. I did reach out, to the people in the interview and they were pretty vague. I still do not like what they wanted, but what kinda hurts more is that her interview went the same way mine did and she got the job. Which means she was able to do it. I couldn't. I know I couldn't do it. Trying to relay information over a system I'm not familiar with, it was daunting and I didn't feel up for it. I know I made the right call, but I still feel so pathetic.

I don't know what else to do with myself anymore honestly. I'm still selling stuff on ebay to earn a little bit of money I'm trying to save for either a camera or a new PC - haven't totally decided which I want first. I haven't been taking anymore courses because 1.) I'm tired of it and 2.) I don't know what courses I should be taking that will give me credible skills that look good on a resume. I've been trying to focus on updating things around the house without spending too much - like painting walls and such. I'm still tending to our little farm here that my husband and I have too. So it's not like I'm not doing anything with my time, but I really just want a job.

I keep getting told, "You'll find something." Oh really? *gestures vaguely* The other jobs I've applied for thus far I've heard zilch on, so I guess businesses aren't in that dire need of help like they're advertising. :rolleyes: I'm just so fucking tired of being unemployed, yet I'm not tired enough to settle for just anything I can get my hands on. :(:confused: I don't know, should I go back to school for a third freaking time? If I do, then what? What could I possibly do to waste more money on that will actually get me a job that I like???
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
$h!te - absolutely shite! My left ear's blocked, so ah can barely hear properly. Went to my local GP surgery yesterday, wearing a mask as is mandatory here in Scotland. Only to be told, after making an appointment, that they aren't "currently doing those procedures at the moment, for obvious reasons. But, if you want, you can go to your local hospital" :mad:

Translation (to me): Fuck off elsewhere, we can't be arsed. Besides, you might huv it. How do we know? So, despite the fact the nurses are wandering aboot decked oot in aprons, gloves, masks and fuckin' face shields! You'd think... but naw. Unblocking an ear, that's too bloody risky!

Thanks a fuckin' bunch COVID-19! :mad:
 
theoutsider

theoutsider

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
$h!te - absolutely shite! My left ear's blocked, so ah can barely hear properly. Went to my local GP surgery yesterday, wearing a mask as is mandatory here in Scotland. Only to be told, after making an appointment, that they aren't "currently doing those procedures at the moment, for obvious reasons. But, if you want, you can go to your local hospital" :mad:

Translation (to me): Fuck off elsewhere, we can't be arsed. Besides, you might huv it. How do we know? So, despite the fact the nurses are wandering aboot decked oot in aprons, gloves, masks and fuckin' face shields! You'd think... but naw. Unblocking an ear, that's too bloody risky!

Thanks a fuckin' bunch COVID-19! :mad:
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Have you tried hydrogen peroxide? I had that problem and was recommended a few drops of the stuff while laying on my side, blocked ear up. Lay there for about 20 minutes while the stuff bubbles and does its stuff then rinse. Repeat if necessary (I had to do it twice). Using some kind of dropper is best. Hope that helps.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
theoutsider said:
Have you tried hydrogen peroxide? I had that problem and was recommended a few drops of the stuff while laying on my side, blocked ear up. Lay there for about 20 minutes while the stuff bubbles and does its stuff then rinse. Repeat if necessary (I had to do it twice). Using some kind of dropper is best. Hope that helps.
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Thanks for the advice, the nurse just suggested I get some drops and persevere with them for now. But if the drops don't help with unblocking my ear, I've come back in and get my ear cleaned out. So, I'll see how it goes...
 
Miserum

Miserum

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
Thanks for the advice, the nurse just suggested I get some drops and persevere with them for now. But if the drops don't help with unblocking my ear, I've come back in and get my ear cleaned out. So, I'll see how it goes...
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Having a blocked ear is one of the most annoying experiences. I've had the procedure done after drops didn't work. They stuck a small tube in my ear connected to a spray bottle and squirted it a few times (I can't remember what the exact solution was... I think just water and hydrogen peroxide), with a basin underneath my ear to catch any rebounding wax and fluid. I remember thinking I could have done it myself with a spray bottle. Each squirt was very loud and the dirty SOBs used cold water. Nonetheless, the problem was fixed.

I bet there are probably articles/videos of people doing it themselves online. I'd be cautious with the procedure though if you're desperate enough to try it yourself, as the ear is such a delicate machine. You really wouldn't want to do any damage to it. Attempt at your own risk and discretion. (y)
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Upset and angry. I just found that another family relative of mine has, and is battling, cancer. :cry: Though I'm quite pissed off that I had to find out about it via a fuckin' Facebook status update post from the family member in question. :mad:
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
I was up for thirty hours, then laid down and only slept four. Now I'm in a pickle, it's 10 PM and I'm wide-awake but I also have nothing to do tomorrow... should I have a coffee or a Unisom? XD
 
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Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I'm not sure how to describe what I'm feeling today. Disappointed? Slightly frustrated? A combination of both? I don't know. I had a good weekend. Saw a lot of family and spent a majority of yesterday with family whom we haven't seen in a couple weeks. It was nice. We had a picnic lunch with my brother-in-law and his family, which we also celebrated some birthdays and they surprised us with their baby announcement. I feel happy for them but at the same time I can't help but feel sad about it. I think I'm upset because their lives are now moving forward with another addition to their family and they have to plan for that. Meanwhile, since my husband and I have been together it's always been about work and moving. That's it. I mean, we're lucky to be able to have what we do have at our age, and moved as many times as we have because of work (and with me, school) when many of our own friends are still renting or living at home even with being married, and some are still going to school. It's not that I'm not thankful, but... everything just feels stagnant. I don't know. I envisioned myself with a career by now, both of us working steady schedules and coming home and enjoying our spaces even with taking care of a mini farm. Taking time off to travel and do things together. But instead now I'm STILL unemployed, no career, a slight job prospect on the horizon that may not even stay there that's currently out of reach, and many days and nights spent alone with a partner coming home late or not at all. (His work literally keeps him this busy; used to be a seasonal thing but now it's become more of a year-round thing to be gone so much and it makes me ever so frustrated.) I feel like I'm putting my life on hold and I don't want to. I want to travel. I want to remodel this whole damn house if I have to sit in it. I want a freaking job too obviously. And it's hard to want all of these things and have the grip of anxiety holding you back quite a bit too.
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Internet's working again, crisis averted.

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Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Doing a little better today, probably because I've had other things to do to keep me occupied. I am still feeling a bit empty today though. I'm really missing friends. Two friends reached out to me yesterday I hadn't spoken to in a while. I was thinking of going out of town this weekend, since a friend of mine is having an outdoor bridal shower, and I wanted to visit other friends too, but I'm not exactly looking forward to spending 6 hours total of driving, plus any other traveling I'd do and visiting. It wouldn't be all in one day, but still. I do need to get out, but social anxiety is really telling me otherwise. I had so much anxiety just running to a couple stores and the post office this morning, so many people were out with school shopping and it wasn't even 10am. :oops:o_OThe thoughts of that bridal shower are also getting to me. I really don't want to be around that many people, especially since the pandemic isn't over either. I don't know the size of the party, but I'm pretty sure it'd be under 50 people since that's the state regulation. But since it's outdoors, no one will be wearing masks, and I'm sure not many of them will be taking social distancing precautions.
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
I was being productive today, including starting the process of renewing my passport which expires next month. I was taken aback by my passport picture. Not because of my boyish good looks(...well, perhaps a little. Where has all the youthfulness in my face gone?) but because of how normal I looked. I wouldn't expect anything else, I've always felt I looked, er, normal for the most part. But I know what I was going through when this picture was taken ten years ago, and it's not reflected at all in how I look. I wasn't trying to broadcast to the world how I was feeling, I was in fact trying to do the complete opposite and hide away as much as I could. But it still feels weird to look at a picture that is so completely disconnected with the reality at the time. You can't really know someone from just looking at them. You might not ever really be able to know someone.
 
NathanielWingatePeaslee

NathanielWingatePeaslee

Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Staff member
vj288 said:
I was being productive today, including starting the process of renewing my passport which expires next month. I was taken aback by my passport picture. Not because of my boyish good looks(...well, perhaps a little. Where has all the youthfulness in my face gone?) but because of how normal I looked. I wouldn't expect anything else, I've always felt I looked, er, normal for the most part. But I know what I was going through when this picture was taken ten years ago, and it's not reflected at all in how I look. I wasn't trying to broadcast to the world how I was feeling, I was in fact trying to do the complete opposite and hide away as much as I could. But it still feels weird to look at a picture that is so completely disconnected with the reality at the time. You can't really know someone from just looking at them. You might not ever really be able to know someone.
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It's funny you should say that.
 
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