That's sad. 😢 The people that are supposed to be there for you and support you go ahead and say things like that. I can relate though. I was told the same things all through my teenage years by family and school bullies. Fat, ugly, stupid were common. I believed them too, honestly still do to a point. 😕
That's sad. 😢 The people that are supposed to be there for you and support you go ahead and say things like that. I can relate though. I was told the same things all through my teenage years by family and school bullies. Fat, ugly, stupid were common. I believed them too, honestly still do to a point. 😕
Unfortunately, I can relate. My family were the same. 😢
How am I feeling? Depressed about sums it up. Depressed that I've put on a fair bit o' weight since this coronvirus lockdown. 😢
Depressed that I constantly feel that I have justify everything I do, say or purchase to one of my siblings. Then she proceeds to judge me for it, and make me feel like $h!%. 😠 Which just reinforces, to me, that I'm not meant to be happy. But then, I'm a miserable b@$#@%! So... 😕
If only the arguments didn't bother me like they do. Aye, it might seem I don't care because I'm quiet, shy and don't speak up; but trust me, I do.
Sadness keeps creeping up on me, even when I'm feeling okay. Just a lot of constant disappointments that have been going on for too long. Disappointments in myself mainly, but also other people too.
I hear ya. My life is barely tenable as it is, so when something else happens everything goes to shit.
I'm sitting here with no car, no food, and nobody will answer their phone and give me a lift to a store I don't even want to go into! 😂
Ah, that sucks. I hate it when I'm left without a car sometimes. I never go many places either, but I like having the option if I need it.
I woke up at 5am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep thanks to anxiety and racing thoughts, so after laying in bed for an hour I got up and took the dog out. I went to go see our shop cat and let her out too. Well, my dog still is under the impression that other animals always want to play. She knocked me over trying to run after the cat and I slammed my hip against the stone pad outside our shop. Hurt like hell, but I'm okay. Cat is fine too, just ran back inside where the dog couldn't get her. But man I was so pissed I wound up really yelling at her and putting her in her crate until I finished my morning chores.
I felt bad after, but I'm having the hardest time with my dog through this current phase with her. I think she plays more and gets excited more easily now than she did when she was a little puppy. It's so hard to break her of this I actually have a vibrating collar for her now - it can either beep or vibrate like the frequency of your phone vibrating in your pocket. I tested it on myself too first before using it on her. I didn't have it on her this morning because she's actually been pretty good, but today she's been crazy. She constantly wants to play aaallll the time, despite the walls and playing I do with her. I'm glad she loves other animals and wouldn't intentionally kill or hurt something (although she also had a guarded personality but warms up quickly to new folks just not so much certain men) just for the sake of it, but she's getting to the point where she's hurting people and other animals because of her rambunctiousness and her given size (nearly 70 lbs now). I don't want to break her happiness, I love that she's a happy friendly girl, but she really needs to listen. It's not that she doesn't know commands, because she's great when I have treats, and she's decent in public thankfully, but at home of all places it's the worst.
Today started off with one of those meetings (virtual meeting) of about 19 people where they hit us with the dreaded, "Let's go around the (virtual) room, introduce ourselves and tell a little about what you like to do in your personal life". If that weren't bad enough, the meeting lasted for 4 hours. Then another meeting a half hour after that one, then two others before the day was out. And just as I was about to go home, I got hit with some bad, work related news. I'm feeling drained and also a little pissed off for some reason.
Today started off with one of those meetings (virtual meeting) of about 19 people where they hit us with the dreaded, "Let's go around the (virtual) room, introduce ourselves and tell a little about what you like to do in your personal life". If that weren't bad enough, the meeting lasted for 4 hours. Then another meeting a half hour after that one, then two others before the day was out. And just as I was about to go home, I got hit with some bad, work related news. I'm feeling drained and also a little pissed off for some reason.
Eesh that is rough. I'd be pissed off if I had to go through that many meetings too. Not sure if that's the reasoning for your being pissed, but I wouldn't doubt it. I often find much of my anger stems from my anxiety. The more anxiety-inducing the situation, the more drained and irritable I become.
Eesh that is rough. I'd be pissed off if I had to go through that many meetings too. Not sure if that's the reasoning for your being pissed, but I wouldn't doubt it. I often find much of my anger stems from my anxiety. The more anxiety-inducing the situation, the more drained and irritable I become.
You are absolutely right. My company is meeting oriented anyway but this whole COVID-19, social distancing thing has made it even worse. Even so, yesterday was an exception. That many meetings was over the top, I barely had a half hour to grab lunch. I'm sure that contributed to my feeling pissed off at receiving bad news at the very end of the day on top of all the meetings. Today was a better day (only two meetings) and I'm back to normal...whatever normal is for someone who suffers from social anxiety, OCD and bouts of depression.
I think I feel like I usually do, but I'm eating like there's a hole in my soul that can only be filled by carbs and cookies.
God do I feel that in my heart and soul. 😂 That has been me this whole year. I managed to gain about 10 lbs during this whole quarantine/unemployment and definitely explains why a couple pairs of jeans no longer fit. (I wanted to think I accidentally shrunk them in the dryer. Part of me still believes that. 😉) I need to get back to my smoothies, fresh fruit and veggies, and greens. I don't think I've eaten this much junk in the last few years as I have this year. I eat better the busier I am, believe it or not.
Just waiting for this day to come, ultimately... 😢
Maybe it'll happen this Christmas? Because I am fuckin' sick tae tha back teeth with having to just tolerate it, as my older sister treats me and our mother like shit. 😠 And I tired of having to hear my mother make the same excuse: "Aww... she does'nae mean it!" Then I get the fuckin' silent treatment for daring question why she does it.
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