How are you feeling?
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
BlueDays
1
^ Good luck with your night at the Opera House and your first day at Uni the following week Mikey.
:thumbup:
Srijita52
Well-known member
Kiwong
Well-known member
The world of people really shits me. Some mornings I have gone to boat ramp to photograph the sunrise. Twice I have been there a woman has been doing sprints up the stairs. She takes offense at my camera and seems to think I am going to take photos of her. I am a ****ing landscape photographer, piss off, I want to say to her. Both times I have bitten my tongue. My favourite beach is one with no one on it.
My feet are swelling and throbbing, and my left hand is hurting quite a bit - the parts I can still feel anyway. Still using a sports bandage because of the broken bones since I cut the itchy cast off my hand. That doctor must've been right about permanent nerve damage, still have numb/cold/tingling parts of the hand. My eyes are burning. I'm tired.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Upset n' dishearted. Everytime ah speak, ma point is dismissed. Seems am just wastin' ma time tryin' tae get folk tae see things fae ma perspective - no' that it matters much, anyway. :kickingmyself:
Ma oldest sibling admitted tae be a cruel bitch, the other day. Ah just agreed as per usual. And didnae labour the point. Since there's nae point tellin' her how much her cruel, racist, snide jokes hurt me - she doesnae listen anyway. :sad: So, aye, she's cruel but, then, she doesnae seem to bothered by that.h:
Och, well... Once a cunt, always a cunt, eh? :idontknow:
Ma oldest sibling admitted tae be a cruel bitch, the other day. Ah just agreed as per usual. And didnae labour the point. Since there's nae point tellin' her how much her cruel, racist, snide jokes hurt me - she doesnae listen anyway. :sad: So, aye, she's cruel but, then, she doesnae seem to bothered by that.
h:Och, well... Once a cunt, always a cunt, eh? :idontknow:
Kiwong
Well-known member
Do I sense some sarcasm in the first line? Oh no , my favourite emoticon is gone!
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
The guy behind the cash register kept giving me the fishy-eye. I glanced at my reflection in the freezer door and knew what he was worried about.
I have this half-scowl that makes me look like I'm scheming, and my darting, downcast eyes don't exactly hail the arrival of a guy who's A-Okay.
I wish I could wear a sign that says "Quirky, Not Crazy" but that would invite too many looks. ha ha
I'm disappointed that after all this time, I'm not better at masking my discomfort around strangers.
I have this half-scowl that makes me look like I'm scheming, and my darting, downcast eyes don't exactly hail the arrival of a guy who's A-Okay.
I wish I could wear a sign that says "Quirky, Not Crazy" but that would invite too many looks. ha ha
I'm disappointed that after all this time, I'm not better at masking my discomfort around strangers.
Nanita
Well-known member
I was sincere actually
appreciative of people in general but feeling unable to connect on a deeper level......For me the act of photography is such a personal, intimate thing that I cannot do it with other people around. I can still point the camera and focus and press the shutter, yeah, but I can't get into that zone, you know, where it's just you and the camera and whatever beauty is around you. I've been known to get a little snappish when people (even people I'm close to) try to casually look on while I'm doing my thing with my camera.
planemo
Well-known member
Upset n' dishearted. Everytime ah speak, ma point is dismissed. Seems am just wastin' ma time tryin' tae get folk tae see things fae ma perspective - no' that it matters much, anyway. :kickingmyself:
Ma oldest sibling admitted tae be a cruel bitch, the other day. Ah just agreed as per usual. And didnae labour the point. Since there's nae point tellin' her how much her cruel, racist, snide jokes hurt me - she doesnae listen anyway. :sad: So, aye, she's cruel but, then, she doesnae seem to bothered by that.
Och, well... Once a cunt, always a cunt, eh? :idontknow:
Have you ever thought of leaving home greame?
I know families can be cruel and snide, but racist? That's something no one should deal with...
As for me, I'm my normal, slightly miserable self.
shyindian
Banned
It is getting worse....I'm not taking care of my health and drinking a lot....I'm really sick and my parents think I'm being arrogant and that's why I'm not consulting a doctor...but actually I'm feeling so numb because there is so much emptiness and loneliness.
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I know just how you feel.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Perhaps consulting a doctor would help? That's just my advice, or what I'd do, personally. I know it's hard asking for help, sometimes. Takin' care of your health can be a bit of a downer at times. I mean, I'm kinda the same when it comes to ma physical disability, cerebral palsy - I've been told it's gettin' worse and will get worse as I get older. But I recently started takin' medication to keep the muscle spasms I get to a minimum.
The feeling numb, the emptiness and loneliness doesn't really help things. Though, your health getting worse is quite depressing, and is probably a reason for why yer feeling the way you do. And your parent must be really worried about you?
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
I know families can be cruel and snide, but racist? That's something no one should deal with...
Oh, aye, a good ol' British hatred of immigrants who don't speak English. The f**kin' irony uh that idea, when yer Scottish! Haw-haw! Stop the laughter, ah think ah've broke ma ribs.
Made aw the worse by ma oldest sister's apparent intolerance toward white South Africans for some reason - and that's a rant from a few years ago!
But wi' me, the snide jokes are apparently just those - jokes. Now if you can tell me what's funny aboot comparin' a mixed-raced, brown-skinned Scottish lad to a racist stereotype? Ah will happily show some restraint and listen. Since ah'll probably be gettin' restrained...
But ah just bite ma tongue because even though it's quite sore, even when ye do it accidently. It's keeps words like "See you...?! Ah f _ _kin' hate you, so ah dae!"
To quote the French, writer, mathematician & philosopher Blaise Pascal: "If you want people to think good of you - don't speak"
Know that make me seem like a totally pretentious, hipster and certified wanker, extraordinaire. Plus when yur ethnically ootnumbered on yer muther's side uh family? Fake laughter is always best no matter how racist the opinion, remark or joke may be. Well it's either laugh or hope fur mass organ failure, which isn't likely. And ye can hide a lot with smile, as it turns out.
See?!Have you ever thought of leaving home greame?
I know families can be cruel and snide, but racist? That's something no one should deal with...
Ah huv contemplated movin' oot. But with ma cerebral palsy being quite severe, and mainly affect ma lower body, ah don't how ah'd cope on ma own? Financially, more than anything. :idontknow:
Well, at least yer only slightly miserable. Though, still miserable, it's better totally buckin' miserable.
Ah can relate there, dottie. "They f_ _ k you up, your mum and dad..."
dottie
Well-known member
Likewise, when I am reading your posts, Marie- even though I don't post it always.
Opaline
1
Ugh. Awkward but not horrible conversation with someone who kind of intimidates me, but I made my feelings known and that's what counts. I just hated that at one point in the conversation I started to cry; I fought really hard not to and I was surprised that I couldn't hold it back. Kind of disturbing for me (I don't know why; a feeling of loss of control I guess).
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
BEAT.
I didn't sleep a wink last night so all that's keeping me up are trace amounts of mountain dew in my bloodstream and the will to type.
I didn't sleep a wink last night so all that's keeping me up are trace amounts of mountain dew in my bloodstream and the will to type.