How are you feeling?

Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
planemo said:
I'm sorry Graeme. I think it will be better if you just stop confronting anyone at home. I've made the decision not to confront them, and to hold in my anger, and its made things a bit better. It's not easy and I still struggle with it, but try.
Click to expand...


Whilst ah understand n' appreciate yer perspective, planemo. How do you deal with it? If ye dinnae mind ma askin'...? Because am pretty much at breakin' point here.

Ah huv'nae confronted anyone, well except ma mum. But we didnae yell or anythin', we hud a rational conversation fur once.

It's ma older sister who ah've still got unresolved issues with. In terms o' the way she treats me. Ah don't know how much longer ah can go on with be patronised, condesended, talked down tae, mock, insulted n' made tae feel stupid. So basically, ah say nothin' & let ma "white" older half-sister think it's appropriate tae piss me off & similitaniously evoke memories of when ah was gettin' bullied n' being called racial slurs at school. Unless that's somehow funny...? :idontknow: As ye can probably ma school years huv hud a lastin' affect... no' exactly got many happy memories.

Sorry fur the rant. This isnae just somethin' that been happen lately, this is has been buildin' for quite a few years now. And sayin' nothin', ah feel, just continues ma vicious cycle of depression thoughts n' low self-worth. :sad: Again, sorry tae be aw depressin'. As ah said previously, Scottish folk are very honest when it comes tae sayin' what on our minds.
 
SonicMan

SonicMan

Well-known member
Annoyed! I am not a taxi driver. Why is everyone else allowed to not drive, chill and have fun except for me. Yes, getting the train is a bit of money, but so is the cost of repairs to my car for stupid passenger behavior. They know driving passengers makes me anxious, but try a stupid guilt trip excuse when I come up with an alternative idea. When was the last time I forced you guys to drive? Oh, never. This is not the first time either. Really thinking of selling my car and see if you still like me.
 
Lamb

Lamb

Well-known member
gummybear22 said:
starved of affection
Click to expand...

I'm sorry Gummybear. :sad: Hope you feel better soon.


SonicMan said:
Annoyed! I am not a taxi driver. Why is everyone else allowed to not drive, chill and have fun except for me. Yes, getting the train is a bit of money, but so is the cost of repairs to my car for stupid passenger behavior. They know driving passengers makes me anxious, but try a stupid guilt trip excuse when I come up with an alternative idea. When was the last time I forced you guys to drive? Oh, never. This is not the first time either. Really thinking of selling my car and see if you still like me.
Click to expand...

Could you perhaps starting charging a fee? Not sure if this is family related or friends, in which you might be able to put your foot down and decline them a ride, even if you feel guilty for it. Or cut back on giving rides? That sounds aggravating.
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
Graeme1988 said:
Whilst ah understand n' appreciate yer perspective, planemo. How do you deal with it? If ye dinnae mind ma askin'...? Because am pretty much at breakin' point here.

Ah huv'nae confronted anyone, well except ma mum. But we didnae yell or anythin', we hud a rational conversation fur once.

It's ma older sister who ah've still got unresolved issues with. In terms o' the way she treats me. Ah don't know how much longer ah can go on with be patronised, condesended, talked down tae, mock, insulted n' made tae feel stupid. So basically, ah say nothin' & let ma "white" older half-sister think it's appropriate tae piss me off & similitaniously evoke memories of when ah was gettin' bullied n' being called racial slurs at school. Unless that's somehow funny...? :idontknow: As ye can probably ma school years huv hud a lastin' affect... no' exactly got many happy memories.

Sorry fur the rant. This isnae just somethin' that been happen lately, this is has been buildin' for quite a few years now. And sayin' nothin', ah feel, just continues ma vicious cycle of depression thoughts n' low self-worth. :sad: Again, sorry tae be aw depressin'. As ah said previously, Scottish folk are very honest when it comes tae sayin' what on our minds.
Click to expand...

I was in a similar position maybe 15 years or so back. I didn't do anything to anyone in my family to get treated the way i did, and i thought fighting back with my mouth and very rarely my hands would stop the attacks i was getting. But it just made things worst. I think that in a dysfunctional family environment which is perhaps the case with yours, and definitely with mine, you have some people who dominate and look down on others. the main reason for this is to control and let out their own feelings of insecurity. so if you argue or fight back, you allow them to use you as their punching bag. but if you say nothing, even though it may hurt, they will realise they're not making you into what they want, and will leave you alone.

i ignored one family member this way, and believe it or not they mostly left me alone. in those days they would directly attack me since making me feel down, and then angry is what they wanted. nowadays they can only indirectly attack me and not to my face. confrontation is something that others in a dysfunctional family want, and so if you understand that, you can manage your feelings better. i just decided that i'm not gonna give them what the want.

i'm sorry you have to go through this, and i know what you're going through. i had and still have a tough time at home, and had a tough time in school for various reasons. but do what's best for you and don't give them what they want. they'll try to provoke you just to get a reaction, but don't give in. punch a punching bag or find some other outlet to let go of the frustration they bring in you. just give it a try, what's the worst that could happen?
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
planemo said:
I was in a similar position maybe 15 years or so back. I didn't do anything to anyone in my family to get treated the way i did, and i thought fighting back with my mouth and very rarely my hands would stop the attacks i was getting. But it just made things worst. I think that in a dysfunctional family environment which is perhaps the case with yours, and definitely with mine, you have some people who dominate and look down on others. the main reason for this is to control and let out their own feelings of insecurity. so if you argue or fight back, you allow them to use you as their punching bag. but if you say nothing, even though it may hurt, they will realise they're not making you into what they want, and will leave you alone.

i ignored one family member this way, and believe it or not they mostly left me alone. in those days they would directly attack me since making me feel down, and then angry is what they wanted. nowadays they can only indirectly attack me and not to my face. confrontation is something that others in a dysfunctional family want, and so if you understand that, you can manage your feelings better. i just decided that i'm not gonna give them what the want.

i'm sorry you have to go through this, and i know what you're going through. i had and still have a tough time at home, and had a tough time in school for various reasons. but do what's best for you and don't give them what they want. they'll try to provoke you just to get a reaction, but don't give in. punch a punching bag or find some other outlet to let go of the frustration they bring in you. just give it a try, what's the worst that could happen?
Click to expand...

That's ma point, though, ah huv'nae gave in! Ah've walked away whenever ma sister tries tae provoke a angry reaction. Me angry - or as we say in Scotland, "ragin'!" is hysterically funny tae her. Each time say nothin', walk away, head doon tae hide the fact am greetin'... by which ah mean this: :crying:

Doesnae really change the fact ah just got insulted, does it? Eh...?! Ah'd huv tae buy a punchin' bag. It's either that or batter - (violently hit) - the f**k outta ma electric guitar strings! Though, a bit o' shoutin' fae me might be bit theraputic fur me, personally, since am usually "The Quiet, Sensable One" in ma family.

Might make them realise am no' here tae f**kin' amuse them aw the time? Put things intae perspective, no? Give 'em a wee bit o' a reality check. Got tae stand up fur masel' at some point, don't ah? "Naw! Callin' me racial slur, that's fine wi' me. Ah've been gettin' them since ah was age 5, should be used tae them by noo, eh? Nevermind ma discomfort. We're family efter aw! It's fine."
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ma face is itchy... Wish ah didnae huv tae ma beard so ah presentable.

Hud better days anaw, thinkin' o' goin' back tae therapy since ma internalised dysfunctional issues are causin' havoc with ma self confidence. And suicidal thoughts coupled wi' a desire tae end it aw... Not good! :sad:
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
Trying to see hope, the way ahead. Tonight it seems hard. Tomorrow I have decided to say no to a situation, to stand up to people who have misrepresented me. Its ends here.
 
LoyalXenite

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
Just picked a fight with an online friend for basically no reason, just suddenly hated him argued so much over nothing that he deleted and blocked me... Dont feel any regrets, just a little suprised at what i did.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Suicidally depressed. Should probably get masel' section under the Mental Health Act? Because ah cannae take or put up wi' the verbal abuse fae ma oldest sister much longer. :kickingmyself: Repeatin' the same racist insult over & over & over again then sayin' "It was just a joke!" doesnae make it funny. Cruelty doesnae equal witty humour.
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
LoyalXenite said:
Just picked a fight with an online friend for basically no reason, just suddenly hated him argued so much over nothing that he deleted and blocked me... Dont feel any regrets, just a little suprised at what i did.
Click to expand...

Maybe it was something that was boiling unconsciously for a while? Sometimes emotions aren't quite clear until they come out in bulk.
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
I try not to think about it too much because I'd go crazy if I did, but now and then when and I stop and think about just how much of the earth we've destroyed and how we continue to harm it, it's so incredibly tragic and overwhelming. And that was a run-on sentence. And that one was a fragment. Hmm. But yeah... there are lots of environmental advocacy groups but I feel skeptical as to how much change they effect. Plus I think many of the people in these groups are viewed as crazy tree-hugging alarmists, and that's not what I want. I want to be a part of a reasonable, effective environmental/consumer advocacy group. Friends of the Earth seems good, but I can't be sure...

I didn't know until today that an usually large amount of bees died this past summer :( They're guessing due to loss of habitat and pesticides... *sigh* Or possibly because there were more bees this year so it seemed that more than usual died. That seems... doubtful. I don't know. What, will all the bees eventually die and then we have to pollinate everything artificially? Is that even possible? *SIGH*
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top