How are you feeling?

[MikeyC]

I feel stupid.

For whatever reason, a lot of guy strangers have started approaching me lately. No idea why, since until like a month and a half ago, in all of my years of existence, I could have counted on one hand the amount of date offers I had. Anyway, one such guy caught me when I was alone. He was being pushy about getting my number and was quite frankly freaking me out a bit. I just wanted him to go away so I gave in with the intentions of ignoring him. Should have given him a fake one obviously, but I'm stupid in social situations and my experience in this department is so very lacking.

Obviously this back fired epically. He won't stop sending me messages. I'm trying to ignore them but goodness he just won't stop.
Ugh. Why am I such a moron? So so stupid

Are you enjoying the attention? Maybe you've always had this but you're only choosing to recognise it now.

As for this guy, I'm sure there are ways to block numbers on your phone. If not, you can contact your phone company you're with and they can help you. Trust me, you're unlikely to be the first to have to do this!

 

[BlueDays]

Bad headache. Caused by stress.:veryangry:

Will they ever develop a "chill pill" that is not addictive?:thinking: 'cause CBT just doesn't work to calm my stress.:kickingmyself:

Society really, really sucks.

 

[MikeyC]

Bad headache. Caused by stress.:veryangry:

Will they ever develop a "chill pill" that is not addictive?:thinking: 'cause CBT just doesn't work to calm my stress.:kickingmyself:

Society really, really sucks.

What's causing your stress, BlueDays? :sad:

 

[neardeath]

sorry to hear... is your mom immobile?

Almost. She is having a much harder time. She has Alzheimer's, 90 years old. Very difficult.

 

[neardeath]

You were doing so well less than a month ago. What changed?

I'm being forced to interact and I feel like I can't pull it off any more. I'm feeling less than human here.

 

[MikeyC]

I'm being forced to interact and I feel like I can't pull it off any more. I'm feeling less than human here.

I think it's because of your mother. On top of interacting, you have to care for her, and that is not easy even for those without social anxiety. I reckon that once she's gone, you'll start getting back to how you were before she was there - at least, I hope so, anyway. :thumbup:

 

[Opaline]

In over my head and dreading work every day. Seems like this always happens. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to manage people... :sad:

 

[dottie]

i cannot. my heart is one hard, leathery callous. in the very center there is a dime-size portion of flesh-something-or-other slightly pulsating... more like cringing... if the callous were more porous it might allow for tears to seep out... but instead the tears are sealed up inside the cell, pressurizing... choking.

 

[BlueDays]

In over my head and dreading work every day. Seems like this always happens. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to manage people... :sad:

^Is there any way that you could ask to be put back to the role you were in previously, that did not involve any management of your colleagues?

i cannot. my heart is one hard, leathery callous. in the very center there is a dime-size portion of flesh-something-or-other slightly pulsating... more like cringing... if the callous were more porous it might allow for tears to seep out... but instead the tears are sealed up inside the cell, pressurizing... choking.

^Sending (((Hugs))) to you.

 

[hidwell]

In over my head and dreading work every day. Seems like this always happens. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to manage people... :sad:

I'm sorry to hear that, sending positive vibes your way. :thumbup:

 

[laure15]

Had a nightmare today that I lived in an apartment riddled with many problems. The water was muddy, bugs and insects were abundant, it was just plain disgusting. I want to move out asap.

Someone unexpectedly called early this morning but I didn't recognize the phone number. For a moment there, I was just staring at the phone vibrating but eventually I told myself "heck, just pick it up" so I did. Turns out it was from my mom's dentist. I was suspicious at first because it could be one of those scam calls, so didn't introduce myself and just said "Hello?" The phone call was kind of awkward on my part because I spoke in grammatically incorrect sentences and probably wasn't as polite as I should be? Also does my voice sound weird?

Anyways, it was a big step for me to take phone calls from strangers like this. Usually I just let unknown numbers go to voicemail. But still, it's helpful to have a sense of vigilance.

 

[Opaline]

^Is there any way that you could ask to be put back to the role you were in previously, that did not involve any management of your colleagues?

I considered asking, but I don't like that idea for two reasons. 1) I'd be embarrassed and would feel like my coworkers would view me as weak because I couldn't handle it or something. It's a pride thing, I know, but still... 2) They would cut my hours because the store isn't making much money, and only the shift leaders' hours can't be cut.

I find the job stressful because I have to constantly be correcting people on things. Once or twice a day for me to do that is good practice I think, but constantly having to face my anxiety is draining. And then I have to confront the other shift leaders about problems and yada yada. I've heard even socially "normal" people often don't like management positions - so it's that much worse for someone with SA. *le sigh*

Now, if I could go into work after having had one or two drinks I'd be all set ;D Hey, my boss goes into work stoned out of his gourd. Alcohol isn't so bad is it?

...totally joking by the way, I wouldn't do that. But the thought is kind of tempting

 

[planemo]

awful.....

 

[JuiceB]

Frustrated. I'm having a hard time trying to learn about a certain subject but all I'm getting is brain static. It doesn't help that I'm still sickly from yesterday.

 

[Graeme1988]

Huvin' one o' thae (<--- Oops, Scots lingo there, ye pronounce that like the word "they", in case yer wonderin') h: F**k! Hawd on, ah'll start over... This'll be a fun read fur you lot, eh? :ironicsmile:

So, as o' late, been huvin' alot o' those "What's the effin' point...?" moments. Maybe am just pissed off, cannae be too sure wi' me tae be honest? See, even am startin' tae huv doubts aboot how am actually feelin'...

Oh! An' somebody that ah recent found out that someone whom ah absolutely f**kin' hate n' cannae stand tae be in the same room with, actually f**kin' like me! Me? F**k knows why, because the feelin' isnae mutual... Why? Because ah think the person am referrin' tae is a right c*nt! And ah don't mean that in the friendly Scottish "You're a cunt... but yer a decent c*nt, so lets be friend" kinda way.

^ Ah know what yer thinkin' n' ah'll tell ye it's true: Torettes syndrome is f**kin' rampant in Scotland... and it's a f**kin' disgrace. Talk aboot irony, eh? :sarcastic: Right rant over! Better go back tae being happy fur a wee while.

 

[jaim38]

Having one of those insights/revelations about my past. So recently there was a post about people pleasing and my signature contains a people-pleasing quote. I thought about the last school that I went to and realized how little originality/creativity exists. The students cared so much about fitting in. Anyone who exhibits "weird", "awkward", or out of the ordinary behavior (i.e. being quiet, not having friends) is gossiped about and ostracized. In fact during my last semester there, a girl that I don't even know (never spoke with her, don't even know her name) shouted at me "nobody likes you. everybody hates you". And the whole class just looked on like it was such an ordinary behavior. I swear random strangers started talking badly about me. I tried to be friendly with some people, talk with some people, but the next day it's like they had a 180 degree change and started avoiding me. People who used to be friendly with me either moved further away from me or just didn't talk to me anymore. The name of the game is fitting in. To fit in means to bully/ostracize weird people (i.e. me).

The first school that I went to was also big on fitting on. Weirdly, the motto of the city is "Keep _____ weird." But I don't see much "weirdness" about the people there, who want to fit in.

Now, looking back, I realized how narrow-minded those students are. By trying to fit in so hard, they're also people pleasers, trying to please others (i.e. bullies). I wonder if they can even think for themselves (or maybe they don't want to).

 

[jc972]

Like my life is slipping by a minute at a time, knowing I'll likely never get to climb mountains or go sky diving or do anything besides work in a stupid factory and watch my kids grow up when I still feel like I'm 16. Being inside my own mind freaks me out sometimes.

 

[rcnm]

Although I'm living in the place I've always dreamed to be, I'm feeling alone and missing my family a lot. I don't know why, but I want to sleep all the time. I hope I can get better and get through it.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

i feel lethargic... my recent work -school routine is getting suicidal....

starting 2 days ago, i slept for only an hour... (or more like a nap) then i went to work from 5pm-12 and then i slept at 1am... only to wake up at 7am to go to school then go to work again in the afternoon (5pm-12am again ). I went home midnight and slept at 1am,,,,

now its my off and i was suprised to wake up at 11am... (i am really that tired)
but i can't even enjoy my day coz I'm sick with cold and I just don't have the energy to get off this bed. I am feeling so drowsy and tom. I have to wake up early again and go straight to work (another long shift)...

im sick of my life

 

[sahxox]

Everyday feels like going to war.
Sometimes I'm well-equipped, sometimes I feel that I'm gonna die. :s
Death to my muse, sinking in and out of what has overall been depression in 2013. No interest in anything. Which makes being successful extremely difficult.

Daunted about work tomorrow... I know I need confidence for my goals. (1. greet everyone warmly 2. Not be upset if I don't get all smiles back. 3. Be myself, try and get to know them. 4. Be assertive, in-tune to the real me. Tell SP to eff off.) The fear is I know I may or may not have it. If I don't, I may just freak out and feel like a failure and hate life. I just have to somehow protect myself from the injury of failure. It's terrifying. And this is where the anxiety comes from - will I or will I not be able to? Sometimes I can, other times I can't. I need to keep moving forward SOMEHOW, allow failures and pick myself up. Soldier the **** on.