How are you feeling?

Veritas

Veritas

New member
KiaKaha said:
Sorry to keep bringing this up - but the girl who wants to 'just be friends' texted me today to see if I wanted to go and have a spa with her. Sigh - how much more intimate can one get.

Gosh - its all so tantalizingly out of reach isnt it. It is not making me feel very good. I am too terrified to respond in case whatever I say is the 'wrong' thing....
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Kia, from what you've told us, I would say that this girl is a complete idiot, and you should probably not waste your time and emotion on anyone who messes you around. However, you could respond to her with - "OK, I'll grab the boxing gloves and be right there!" If she remonstrates, just say "Oh, sorry! I thought you meant you wanted a sparring match..." Lol.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
Veritas said:
Kia, from what you've told us, I would say that this girl is a complete idiot, and you should probably not waste your time and emotion on anyone who messes you around. However, you could respond to her with - "OK, I'll grab the boxing gloves and be right there!" If she remonstrates, just say "Oh, sorry! I thought you meant you wanted a sparring match..." Lol.
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Yes. You are probably right. Perhaps my yearning for intimacy is causing me too much distress. I have a few theories. I think she does like me but ....
She is afraid of opening herself up to someone new and she needs time - a manifestation of some kind of fear or anxiety; or she is 'keeping her options open' - sort of keeping me in reserve until something more suitable comes along - a default. Either way, for my own sake - I should probably just ignore her.
 
Kat

Kat

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
Yes. You are probably right. Perhaps my yearning for intimacy is causing me too much distress. I have a few theories. I think she does like me but ....
She is afraid of opening herself up to someone new and she needs time - a manifestation of some kind of fear or anxiety; or she is 'keeping her options open' - sort of keeping me in reserve until something more suitable comes along - a default. Either way, for my own sake - I should probably just ignore her.
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You have to do what you feel is best, lack of communication is never good with this kind of scenario it allows for potential assumptions to be made that could be correct but could also be way off the mark.

I can see how it happens people fear rejection when you feel there is something to lose and your scared to hear the truth sometimes silence can become a retreat being friend zoned can neutralize a situation a bit maybe allowing you to explore each other without any hope to begin with you can be forever speculating this situation but again you have to do what you feel is right.
 
Starry

Starry

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
Well thats what I sort of mean - if a girl asks you to go to the spa with them, is that implying a sense of intimacy?

I really dont know anymore. I mean apparently if someone kisses you it may means they dont actually like you.

I do want to go along, I dont care what it is - I am just scared that anything I do will be the wrong thing to do - it always seems that way these day. Its...too volatile.

I will just ignore it I think. I cant handle the anguish. I would rather deny all opportunity of potential happiness than go through all that confusion and frustration again.
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I think going to a spa is implying a lot less intimacy than kissing someone... But, without knowing her, I cannot judge... From what you've said, it may be possible that your ideas about her behaviour (in your last post) are true... But there's always the possibility that they're not, so I understand you wanting to avoid the anguish.

I wouldn't worry too much about doing the "wrong thing"... We're all human and all make mistakes, as long as your intent is genuine and good then it is not a bad thing.

I think in this case, you should do what is best for you. You've already been hurt and to subject yourself to more would be unfair.

I would so much love to read a post from you saying how you're happy and feeling loved. I hope I will see that one day. :)

*****************

As for me, I'm roasting hot and now I have to exercise... I hate exercising... It all feels so futile... Ah well, the sooner I start, the sooner it's over...
 
Daniel089

Daniel089

Well-known member
Things are going pretty well for me these days! I finally work again in my old workplace after 3 and a half months, met 2 new people, I "got to know" a friendly dude there, no doubt, my SA isn't an obstacle for me, but mostly because there are barely anyone working there now, in summer...
I'm starting to worry less about the future too.
 
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Silatuyok

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
Sorry to keep bringing this up - but the girl who wants to 'just be friends' texted me today to see if I wanted to go and have a spa with her. Sigh - how much more intimate can one get.

Gosh - its all so tantalizingly out of reach isnt it. It is not making me feel very good. I am too terrified to respond in case whatever I say is the 'wrong' thing....
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Eh...a spa? Okay I know I stuck up for her before, but, this girl is just -- weird! She's either the most deeply awkward person ever, or she's toying with you. Who invites their heterosexual guy-friend to a spa with them?
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
Feeling sad again and worried and . . . weird. Another friend died suddenly this morning. He wasn't as close as the last one, but that's still two gone in as many weeks. Now I'm worried about who might be next, and how much I'm going to be asked to help out with things when I can't even leave the house most of the time. That last part may sound selfish, but it's a pretty big concern for a paranoid agoraphobe like me. Fortunately, most people know I'm useless, so they probably won't ask much. Somehow, that makes me feel even worse.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
GraybeardGhost said:
Feeling sad again and worried and . . . weird. Another friend died suddenly this morning. He wasn't as close as the last one, but that's still two gone in as many weeks. Now I'm worried about who might be next, and how much I'm going to be asked to help out with things when I can't even leave the house most of the time. That last part may sound selfish, but it's a pretty big concern for a paranoid agoraphobe like me. Fortunately, most people know I'm useless, so they probably won't ask much. Somehow, that makes me feel even worse.
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That's awful, I'm really sorry. I'm sure you're not useless though.
 
JuiceB

JuiceB

Well-known member
I was feeling good this morning while at work. That all changed as I was stocking a shelf with boxes of screws. I tried stacking two boxes at once on a shelf that's slightly taller than me. Well one of the boxes fell and hit me on the head. Been feeling like a jackass ever since.
 
Invisibleman

Invisibleman

Well-known member
*sigh* my oh my. Since I have figured out what I actually want to do for university after stressing and bitching about it on the forum for the past year I feel only marginally better.

Now I still have to worry about all of the other things that go along with it. Im still worried about actually going. I looked at the picture of the university and of course its massive. And im still worried if I actually have the motivation or if I even have the intelligence. *sigh* for f**k sakes.
 
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Silatuyok

Well-known member
Tired, overwhelmed, restless, grouchy, irritated, headachy...I think I just need to eat something but I don't feel like it. Feelings, please go away.
 
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