How are you feeling?

Hot and tired. This weather sucks.

@Beleza:

Thanks for the kind words, Beleza. Your a sweet heart and I really hope all is great with you. 🙂

@Drummer:

Thanks, Buddy. ^.^ I'm glad to hear your doing well now and having a great time. I wish you many moment's like those for the future.

@Mikey:

Thanks as always for being there for me. ^.^ I'm sorry to hear about the mysterious activity in your account. That is a real bitch to deal with. I hope it all works out without to much hassle for you.

I'm anxious while writing my paper for class...I don't understand why it's making me so nervous.
On the upside, I got a 97 on my last test. I have 102% in the class, so I guess I don't need to worry too much about this paper. 😀

As it turned out, the withdrawals from my account were from PayPal, all legitimate. I thought my PayPal account was tied to my main one, but long story short it's not. I feel like an idiot. On the plus side I signed up for web banking while I was there, so something good came out of it.

I cooked lunch for myself today, which was more pasta. Obviously I cooked a lot of it and mum chimes in: "This is why you put on weight." Then backtracked and said, "you do have a lot of muscle." Damage done, mother.

KiaKaha said: ↑

Not all that great.
I have resigned to the fact that I am no good.

Sorry you feel that way, mate.

Valhalla said: ↑

I believe the second thing said. Enjoy the pasta, feed the muscles.

I won't deny that I have muscle, but eating absolute crap all the time will bring on the fat, too, which is exactly what I've got. I can see it with my own eyes. I have to do better than this, and I get absolutely no support.

lilmutegirl said: ↑

I'm anxious while writing my paper for class...I don't understand why it's making me so nervous.
On the upside, I got a 97 on my last test. I have 102% in the class, so I guess I don't need to worry too much about this paper. 😀

^ Oh wow! Way to go! 😀 Good luck on your paper.

MikeyC said: ↑

As it turned out, the withdrawals from my account were from PayPal, all legitimate. I thought my PayPal account was tied to my main one, but long story short it's not. I feel like an idiot. On the plus side I signed up for web banking while I was there, so something good came out of it.

^ Well, glad to hear those payments were from you and not someone else. I know I'd be relieved after hearing that.

I cooked lunch for myself today, which was more pasta. Obviously I cooked a lot of it and mum chimes in: "This is why you put on weight." Then backtracked and said, "you do have a lot of muscle." Damage done, mother.

^ Ouch. :🙁: She's most likely just concerned and looking out for your health. Sorry she expressed herself so rudely though.
...Gotta give her credit for backtracking though... My mother doesn't do that and can be very insulting...

Phoenixx said: ↑

^ Well, glad to hear those payments were from you and not someone else. I know I'd be relieved after hearing that.

Yeah, it makes sense and I know I should be more careful.

Phoenixx said: ↑

^ Ouch. :🙁: She's most likely just concerned and looking out for your health. Sorry she expressed herself so rudely though.
...Gotta give her credit for backtracking though... My mother doesn't do that and can be very insulting...

I know she means well, but she has worse social skills than I do and she doesn't know what she's saying is bad. I'm sorry your mum is insulting. What does she say?

My Mom has a bad infection and im worried. My dog also went to the vet and hes almost on his last legs and will probably pass soon.

MikeyC said: ↑

I know she means well, but she has worse social skills than I do and she doesn't know what she's saying is bad. I'm sorry your mum is insulting. What does she say?

^ It varies. Rather than telling me that I could improve how I dress or look, she just tells me how ugly I am. (Not as often as she used to, but you know. Damage is done, pain's still there.) Rather than helping me open up more, she just tells me how anti-social I am. She tends to get on me about grades too. Not that my grades are anything below average (I sound vain, sorry), I'm naturally a usual straight-A student, but occasionally I slip or get B's especially in Math. Rather than say, "Just try harder" (thanks Dad) I hear the never ending, "You need to get your grades up! Blah blah blah. This needs to be higher!" I've heard that spiel my whole life. Made her pretty happy when I made Dean's list at college this last semester. I didn't really care, and I actually wasn't expecting to make it, but I did. My mom sometimes likes to boast to people about that sort of thing. I was always the "smart, quiet" one. Bleh, sometimes I feel like more of an object to her.

I don't mean to make it out like she's one of the worst people on the planet, because she isn't. I know deep down she cares, but... she just has a pretty insulting way of expressing herself sometimes. We don't always see eye to eye because we're so different, and because of that it's lead to a lot of arguments before.

Invisibleman said: ↑

My Mom has a bad infection and im worried. My dog also went to the vet and hes almost on his last legs and will probably pass soon.

Im so sorry about your mom and your dog. sending good vibes your way love. I hope things get better for you soon.

Unappreciated.

I dont see the point in doing anything for anyone ever - all you do is get overlooked. You extend a gesture of friendship - but its never reciprocated.
I feel like no once cares about how I feel.

KiaKaha said: ↑

Unappreciated.

I dont see the point in doing anything for anyone ever - all you do is get overlooked. You extend a gesture of friendship - but its never reciprocated.
I feel like no once cares about how I feel.

The willing horse is always put upon. The more you do for some people the more they expect of you, without any consideration for your feelings.

Amazing. I'm laying in my hammock tent at our friends ranch on salt spring island and it's just beautiful! Mmmmmm this is nice, anyone wanna join me in the hammock, it's a 2 person lol

Therapy went well today. I think things are finally headed in the right direction.

There's also a rattling noise coming from the trunk of my car. I had to stop several times to see if anything was falling off. All appears to be in shape. Maybe the spare tire is moving around or the muffler is bouncing about when I can't see it. I'm going to spend the day today investigating.

I feel pretty horrible.

I stood up for myself today, something which is rare, and now I feel regret.

I went to visit a psych at a community clinic, hoping to get some answers on my grant, since I'm basically agoraphobic. The clinic is one of the few places I ever go to, and it's only once a month.

This women's attitude was disgusting. She actually spoke to me like there's nothing wrong with me, and I should just instantly get a job. She called me "lazy" because of my sleep problems and she almost made it seem like I wanted this grant, because it's a quick and easy buck for lazy person. She also said in a sarcastic tone "you're agoraphobic but you come to the clinic."

Normally I would just take this, but i got angry and I showed her I didn't like her attitude and that it was a disgrace. I told her this to her face, and some other things too. Her attitude changed once she knew how ticked off i was.

Now i just feel like i'm turning into some angry, nasty person like those in my family. i hate never standing up or myself, but now that i ave, i feel guilty as well.

i hate people. 😠

Phoenixx said: ↑

^ It varies. Rather than telling me that I could improve how I dress or look, she just tells me how ugly I am. (Not as often as she used to, but you know. Damage is done, pain's still there.) Rather than helping me open up more, she just tells me how anti-social I am. She tends to get on me about grades too. Not that my grades are anything below average (I sound vain, sorry), I'm naturally a usual straight-A student, but occasionally I slip or get B's especially in Math. Rather than say, "Just try harder" (thanks Dad) I hear the never ending, "You need to get your grades up! Blah blah blah. This needs to be higher!" I've heard that spiel my whole life. Made her pretty happy when I made Dean's list at college this last semester. I didn't really care, and I actually wasn't expecting to make it, but I did. My mom sometimes likes to boast to people about that sort of thing. I was always the "smart, quiet" one. Bleh, sometimes I feel like more of an object to her.

I don't mean to make it out like she's one of the worst people on the planet, because she isn't. I know deep down she cares, but... she just has a pretty insulting way of expressing herself sometimes. We don't always see eye to eye because we're so different, and because of that it's lead to a lot of arguments before.

I don't even know what to say here. I'm sorry this happens. Maybe our mums can get together and drive each other batty while we celebrate our impending freedom.

superfluouslyme said: ↑

Therapy went well today. I think things are finally headed in the right direction.

This is good news. Mine took over half a year for that to happen and there's still LOTS to go. Good luck in future sessions, superfluous.

planemo said: ↑

I feel pretty horrible.

I stood up for myself today, something which is rare, and now I feel regret.

I went to visit a psych at a community clinic, hoping to get some answers on my grant, since I'm basically agoraphobic. The clinic is one of the few places I ever go to, and it's only once a month.

This women's attitude was disgusting. She actually spoke to me like there's nothing wrong with me, and I should just instantly get a job. She called me "lazy" because of my sleep problems and she almost made it seem like I wanted this grant, because it's a quick and easy buck for lazy person. She also said in a sarcastic tone "you're agoraphobic but you come to the clinic."

Normally I would just take this, but i got angry and I showed her I didn't like her attitude and that it was a disgrace. I told her this to her face, and some other things too. Her attitude changed once she knew how ticked off i was.

Now i just feel like i'm turning into some angry, nasty person like those in my family. i hate never standing up or myself, but now that i ave, i feel guilty as well.

i hate people. 😠

I’m going through sometime similar at the moment. I’m feeling the need to stand up for myself more in all situations which I am doing but I suspect sometimes I can come over as aggressive. There is a difference between assertion and aggression and as yet I don’t always get it right. That said, I’m a lot happier that I am speaking my mind more often just asking for what I reasonably want. And as time moves on it seems to get easier and I have also noticed that people I know now expect me to have an opinion.

Not necessarily relevant, but here is a quote from hidwell this morning that I like and wanted to share.......
The willing horse is always put upon. The more you do for some people the more they expect of you, without any consideration for your feelings.

Well I DO feel better than in the last days. Mostly because my future is organized. I maybe have a job in a hypermarket next week, I'll try driving theory exam again 3 weeks later, and most importantly I am looking forward for my first CBT appointment, I just have to call the right person.
Still people I see on the street irritate me because I do feel a bit like an alien among them but I'm starting to care less about them I think.

Daniel089 said: ↑

Well I DO feel better than in the last days. Mostly because my future is organized. I maybe have a job in a hypermarket next week, I'll try driving theory exam again 3 weeks later, and most importantly I am looking forward for my first CBT appointment, I just have to call the right person.
Still people I see on the street irritate me because I do feel a bit like an alien among them but I'm starting to care less about them I think.

That’s good to hear…

Bored! Quite depressed, actually. Lacking the energy and motivation tae do anything. :🙁: