How are you feeling?

goodways

goodways

Member
I felt I wanted to post something today.

I guess it's not a good morning, and when I saw the question, "How are you feeling?", I wanted to share my answer. Because my answer is, I feel hopelessly, pathetically unhappy!

I had a long conversation with an old friend last night. For the first time in months I actually talked about some of the things that have been bothering me (intense work stress, financial problems, and loneliness), and it did feel really good to say those things out loud, some for the first time. But now all I can think about is her response: "You need to learn to love yourself before you'll be happy and before anyone else could ever love you".

What does everyone think of that? Is that true? If I really did decide I no longer wanted to be single and to cut myself out from even the POSSIBILITY of romance, could I do it? Is it too late already? It's been 5 years since any kind of relationship for me, and my previous experiences have been universally negative.

And what about being happy? I am so profoundly UNHAPPY with my life's direction, working long hours at a stressful job for crap wages, and being unable to be totally financially independent this year, that I sometimes wonder if there's even a way out! Maybe there isn't. Maybe I am doomed to unhappiness and the same old drudgery for years to come. I don't know if I could deal with that. Feels like things are coming apart at the seams, harder to maintain the illusion to those few people in my life. Since so few people know the real me, it becomes more difficult every day to separate the reality from the fictions. And that makes me progressively unhappier.

This conversation with my friend really spurred me to think about these things in a more realistic and nuanced manner. I am starting to see just how pathetic I've been all these years, hiding myself away from the world in order not to get hurt any more. But it's the hiding away ITSELF now that is causing the hurt. But is it worth it go head back out there only to be rejected? For years I thought the answer was no. Now I'm not so sure.

BAH. Much on my mind. But it feels good to get it out into a place where someone might actually read it. That does help me to feel slightly less alone. Now, if only I could be the real me and not have to play a different role to different groups of family/friends...

If anyone actually made it all the way to the end, thanks for reading! I really hope getting it down will help. Hell, maybe it'll help YOU realize a thing or two...
 
1BlackSheep

1BlackSheep

Well-known member
goodways said:
I am starting to see just how pathetic I've been all these years, hiding myself away from the world in order not to get hurt any more. But it's the hiding away ITSELF now that is causing the hurt. But is it worth it go head back out there only to be rejected? For years I thought the answer was no. Now I'm not so sure.
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I did the same thing and am slowly starting to come out of it. It can be tough trying to take a chance again, but hopefully it will be worth it for both of us! :)
 
hidwell

hidwell

Well-known member
I managed to read it all the way to the end, it wasn't easy and at one stage I didn't think I would make it. To open yourself up to rejection or to hide away, is a bit of a catch 22 situation damned if you do damned if you don't. And only you can decide which path to take, good luck with that.
 
springk

springk

Well-known member
arhh..being an idealist doesnt help.
i feel the world(at least in which i live) is well..not right..things should be different..

why should someone try to cheat..take bribe..i know some people cant afford morality. still why do they do wrong who they can afford it.
its greed..something an idealist wont admit.
sometimes i feel am i an unwordly idealist who has no experience of real life..and just hiding behind ideas, views that do not exist.

in short..i m feelin annoyed..i dont know with who??
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
springk said:
arhh..being an idealist doesnt help.
i feel the world(at least in which i live) is well..not right..things should be different..

why should someone try to cheat..take bribe..i know some people cant afford morality. still why do they do wrong who they can afford it.
its greed..something an idealist wont admit.
sometimes i feel am i an unwordly idealist who has no experience of real life..and just hiding behind ideas, views that do not exist.

in short..i m feelin annoyed..i dont know with who??
Click to expand...
I can relate to you, that's exactly what I feel too. I'm sorry.
 
D

dyingtolive

Well-known member
image005zz.jpg


this is a picture photographed in our country. i found it very touching
 
EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
springk said:
arhh..being an idealist doesnt help.
i feel the world(at least in which i live) is well..not right..things should be different..

why should someone try to cheat..take bribe..i know some people cant afford morality. still why do they do wrong who they can afford it.
its greed..something an idealist wont admit.
sometimes i feel am i an unwordly idealist who has no experience of real life..and just hiding behind ideas, views that do not exist.

in short..i m feelin annoyed..i dont know with who??
Click to expand...

I know the feeling man... It's a hard one! There seems like there is something more specific behind it though. Being an idealist has a lot of up sides , but so far I dont know if its worth it, either
 
socially-akward_lady

socially-akward_lady

Member
goodways said:
I felt I wanted to post something today.

I had a long conversation with an old friend last night. For the first time in months I actually talked about some of the things that have been bothering me (intense work stress, financial problems, and loneliness), and it did feel really good to say those things out loud, some for the first time. But now all I can think about is her response: "You need to learn to love yourself before you'll be happy and before anyone else could ever love you".

What does everyone think of that? Is that true? If I really did decide I no longer wanted to be single and to cut myself out from even the POSSIBILITY of romance, could I do it? Is it too late already? It's been 5 years since any kind of relationship for me, and my previous experiences have been universally negative.

This conversation with my friend really spurred me to think about these things in a more realistic and nuanced manner. I am starting to see just how pathetic I've been all these years, hiding myself away from the world in order not to get hurt any more. But it's the hiding away ITSELF now that is causing the hurt. But is it worth it go head back out there only to be rejected? For years I thought the answer was no. Now I'm not so sure.

Now, if only I could be the real me and not have to play a different role to different groups of family/friends...QUOTE]

Good ways, please know you are not alone. But also know that there is also hope if you are ready to change. We all have the ability to change our destiny if we are ready to deal with all that that change will bring to our lives.
Following your destiny may bring rejection, fear, pain et cetera

As for me, I am in an awful situation. I feel so alone, but when family, co-workers, and acquaintances talk about me they constantly remind me that I'm blessed and highly favored. But I don't feel it. I have no true friends...I couldn't even succeed in marriage...I'm divorced...a single mother... and while my career has been steadily advancing I also feel completely pigeonholed into a situation I don't want to be in. But through it all I know that I have the power to change it all if I could just get beyond the fear and trepidation.

Thank you for sharing and I'll keep you in my thoughts….hoping you will have the courage to get back out there even if it does mean that things/people won’t always go as you would like them to go.

P.S. I’m speaking to myself as much as you or anyone else… every day is a battle for me. Some days I win some days I lose…some days I fail other days I succeed. Some days I’m happy some days I’m so so so so sad and alone…
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