I'm feeling ready to do something. Something productive, something creative. Something impressive. I hate that I am so bad at everything creative. I want to create good art and good music. I have cool ideas that I want to bring to life, but I seem to lack the talent and motivation to do them. I am getting better, it's just so hard with depression, anxiety, stress, etc in the way.
I just hate when I feel like this; where I am ready to do something and want to, but feel like I can't.
I must get the ability to do these things that I want to. I want my brain to be 100% free for use on whatever I want. I want to be able to learn, memorize, and remember things so much better than I can right now. I am better than I used to be, but it's still not enough. I can't give up, I must improve more. I must win. I must be successful. I will be. But it's hard being patient. It just doesn't come fast enough.