How are you feeling?

[this_portrait]

I feel tired and lazy and gross. Looking forward to a shower later on.

 

[MikeyC]

I'm feeling much better today. I went into work with the determination to have a better day. I was more assertive, and took the time to talk with four different people about clarifying my schedule and what I was supposed to be doing on which days.
Also, I pulled into the employee parking lot at the same time as one of my supervisors. My first instinct was to cower in my car until she had walked a ways ahead of me, but instead I got out right away and walked to the building with her.
And finally, I made it a point to make some friendly conversation with my coworker. I was upset yesterday because she seemed kind of aloof with me and of course I blamed this on my own inability to interact.

And I got paid finally AND I don't have to go back to work for five days, so overall it has been a challenging but very good day.

Breaking through your own routine is very, very difficult but I'm glad you willed yourself into conversing with people from work. You may find you will enjoy it a bit more there knowing what they're like and knowing how friendly they are. Overall it sounds like you had a pretty good day and overcame some challenges, even if temporarily, so I hope you reward yourself.

Like sh*t.

What's wrong?

I am feeling like a hypocrite and like a really bad person over all. I think sometimes I get frustrated too easily when I read posts on here of people being down on themselves or people talking about feeling depressed.

I understand that sometimes it is normal to feel that way and sometimes you just need to vent because you are feeling miserable. But when I see the same thing over and over again, it just makes me frustrated. So I seem to get angry and post rude comments as if people "aren't trying hard enough" to change their thought patterns. I know things are difficult, but I seem to just be like "stop that! you need to stop talking that way to yourself." Because the more you continue to repeat the same negative thoughts to yourself, the longer you stay stuck in the same place. Things don't click to positive thinking over night, so it gets frustrating when people seem to just "give up." But it is like my responses totally lack sympathy and I am not being understanding of how difficult it is (even though I know how hard it can be).

I have been struggling a lot with (embarrassing as this is to admit) binge eating for the past couple months. I am depressed, lonely, and miserable and I just keep eating and eating and eating. I try and stop, I try and tell myself all these things about why it is bad, how it is hurting my body, how the negative thinking isn't helping me. And yet I can't stop. I try and say that I can stop, instead of that I can't... and yet I make zero progress. I get defeated and just eat. So I was thinking about how much I am struggling with this and how it is the same way others are struggling with their body image issues and depression and how they "can't" help it and I can understand what it is like to be stuck there.

It is normal to feel frustrated when you see the same thing over and over, but it's good to have some perspective on that, even though, unfortunately, your perspective is binge eating. If you're a hypocrite for saying what you're saying, then I am, too. It's difficult and I'm sorry you're going through it. I wish I could do something more to help you out.

Also, I should add. Simple diet tips like "drink more water, don't buy it, eat small meals and healthy snacks, walk more" etc, don't help. I know things that I should do, but those things don't stop the obsessive constant thoughts that never, ever go away.

Oh, if only it were that easy. I also know what I should be doing - don't go to the chocolate bar, don't get the extra helping of ice cream, eat more fruit - but it's much harder to actually implement.

Well, the dreaded doctors appointment wasn't so bad. I just got stuck in my head wondering if they'd found a brain tumor or something. But my doctor just wanted to discuss and review some things and she wanted me to get more blood work done just to make sure that CK enzyme that caused kidney failure wasn't still sticking around since my value of 49,000 when I was first admitted into the hospital which was the highest she had ever seen. And it seems my EEG is completely clear and there are no signs of epilepsy. But I still need to go to the epilepsy clinic just to make sure. Annnnnd, if I keep up like this, I will be off my Dilantin pills in 6 months which is great cuz they make me very jittery like I drank way too much caffeine. Soo, seems my worrying wasnt at all necessary

I'm glad it all went well at the doctor's. I think it's a good idea to check for epilepsy, just in case there is something there. It's unfortunate the Dilantin pills are making you jittery, but at least they're helping you in other areas.

 

[superfluouslyme]

I have a job interview with Walmart on Tuesday for an overnight cashier position.

 

[MikeyC]

I have a job interview with Walmart on Tuesday for an overnight cashier position.

That's fantastic. I hope you get it.

 

[Silatuyok]

I have a job interview with Walmart on Tuesday for an overnight cashier position.

oooh, now THAT would be an interesting job! I can't imagine what kind of weirdos shop at WalMart at 3am, hehe. (No offense to anyone that does---I love weirdos.)

 

[Phoenixx]

I have a job interview with Walmart on Tuesday for an overnight cashier position.

^ Oh, good luck! Actually it probably won't be that bad, if you do get the job. If your WalMart is anything like the WalMarts and other stores around here, very few people even go at those hours. The people that are there are pretty sane actually. I think I see more insane people during the day than I do at night. That's why I like going grocery shopping sometimes at 12 - 1am. :: Crazy, I know, but it's soooo peaceful and quiet haha.

 

[Phoenixx]

Pretty good. My brother and I have pretty much played video games all day because we had nothing else better to do really. Then my friend came for a surprise visit, she just left actually. We just hung out for a few hours and made/ate food.

 

[superfluouslyme]

^ Oh, good luck! Actually it probably won't be that bad, if you do get the job. If your WalMart is anything like the WalMarts and other stores around here, very few people even go at those hours. The people that are there are pretty sane actually. I think I see more insane people during the day than I do at night. That's why I like going grocery shopping sometimes at 12 - 1am. :: Crazy, I know, but it's soooo peaceful and quiet haha.

Yeah, this particular Walmart isn't crazy busy at night.

 

[lonely_drummer]

WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!*screams like girl*. i just said **** it, ripped my slings off and plugged in the guitar and was able to shred for about 20 minutes. i might be in a lot of pain right now but damn was it worth it!!! i even wrote a new riff to a song i was working on before and its just all so wonderful. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH I'm so flipping happy!!! and I'm seeing a really awesome all girl stoner rock band tonight, can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Srijita52]

WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!*screams like girl*. i just said **** it, ripped my slings off and plugged in the guitar and was able to shred for about 20 minutes. i might be in a lot of pain right now but damn was it worth it!!! i even wrote a new riff to a song i was working on before and its just all so wonderful. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH I'm so flipping happy!!! and I'm seeing a really awesome all girl stoner rock band tonight, can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha that's great! but I hope you're okay.

I have a job interview with Walmart on Tuesday for an overnight cashier position.

^Good luck!

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Sick of feeling unsecure in every aspect of life.
Not knowing when I'll be homeless again, not knowing if my body will give out on me for the last time tomorrow or the day after or a week from now, not knowing when I'll eat next or if I'll be able to pay the bills or if those jerks who broke into the neighbor's place will break into our place next.

I feel unsafe. I feel sick and weak and totally helpless and not really hopeful that things will ever be better.

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!*screams like girl*. i just said **** it, ripped my slings off and plugged in the guitar and was able to shred for about 20 minutes. i might be in a lot of pain right now but damn was it worth it!!! i even wrote a new riff to a song i was working on before and its just all so wonderful. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH I'm so flipping happy!!! and I'm seeing a really awesome all girl stoner rock band tonight, can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!

Be careful. You don't want to hurt your shoulder worse and have to go even longer without playing. Glad you were able to get a little playing in, but I wouldn't push it.

 

[Srijita52]

I'm feeling much better today. I went into work with the determination to have a better day. I was more assertive, and took the time to talk with four different people about clarifying my schedule and what I was supposed to be doing on which days.
Also, I pulled into the employee parking lot at the same time as one of my supervisors. My first instinct was to cower in my car until she had walked a ways ahead of me, but instead I got out right away and walked to the building with her.
And finally, I made it a point to make some friendly conversation with my coworker. I was upset yesterday because she seemed kind of aloof with me and of course I blamed this on my own inability to interact.

And I got paid finally AND I don't have to go back to work for five days, so overall it has been a challenging but very good day.

I'm glad you had a good day.

Like sh*t.

What's wrong Vamp?

I am feeling like a hypocrite and like a really bad person over all. I think sometimes I get frustrated too easily when I read posts on here of people being down on themselves or people talking about feeling depressed.

I understand that sometimes it is normal to feel that way and sometimes you just need to vent because you are feeling miserable. But when I see the same thing over and over again, it just makes me frustrated. So I seem to get angry and post rude comments as if people "aren't trying hard enough" to change their thought patterns. I know things are difficult, but I seem to just be like "stop that! you need to stop talking that way to yourself." Because the more you continue to repeat the same negative thoughts to yourself, the longer you stay stuck in the same place. Things don't click to positive thinking over night, so it gets frustrating when people seem to just "give up." But it is like my responses totally lack sympathy and I am not being understanding of how difficult it is (even though I know how hard it can be).

I have been struggling a lot with (embarrassing as this is to admit) binge eating for the past couple months. I am depressed, lonely, and miserable and I just keep eating and eating and eating. I try and stop, I try and tell myself all these things about why it is bad, how it is hurting my body, how the negative thinking isn't helping me. And yet I can't stop. I try and say that I can stop, instead of that I can't... and yet I make zero progress. I get defeated and just eat. So I was thinking about how much I am struggling with this and how it is the same way others are struggling with their body image issues and depression and how they "can't" help it and I can understand what it is like to be stuck there.

I have done a lot, as far as being able to pull myself out of depression in the past. I have done a lot as far as pulling myself out of incredible self hatred. I don't love myself, but I am not as low as I was once before. So since I have done that, I seem to feel like I can dish all this advice out about how to get better. But I can't seem to get passed this. So, now comparing myself to others and how hard it is for me and how hard it must be for them, I realize what a horrible person I have been lately. Things suck and things are so hard.

I am feeling scared. I don't know how to beat this. Sheer will power? Is that all there is to it? I think about how people quit drugs, drinking, and smoking and I don't know how they do it. I can't imagine how hard quitting those things must be if quitting something like binge eating is this hard. It sucks doing this alone. I don't know what to do.

Also, I should add. Simple diet tips like "drink more water, don't buy it, eat small meals and healthy snacks, walk more" etc, don't help. I know things that I should do, but those things don't stop the obsessive constant thoughts that never, ever go away.

I understand your frustration but it helps to know that it usually takes a bit time to change those negative thoughts or habits.
Atleast you're trying to eat healthier, I can relate though, I've been trying to change a lot of this myself for ages but its hard.

 

[Roman Legion]

I think I'm about to stop trying with life altogether.. Life is like a Chinese finger trap, the more I resist being stuck and try to free myself, the more stuck I get.. Could also use quicksand as an analogy as well..

 

[Srijita52]

Sick of feeling unsecure in every aspect of life.
Not knowing when I'll be homeless again, not knowing if my body will give out on me for the last time tomorrow or the day after or a week from now, not knowing when I'll eat next or if I'll be able to pay the bills or if those jerks who broke into the neighbor's place will break into our place next.

I feel unsafe. I feel sick and weak and totally helpless and not really hopeful that things will ever be better.

I'm sorry Weirdy.

 

[Nathália]

Sick of feeling unsecure in every aspect of life.
Not knowing when I'll be homeless again, not knowing if my body will give out on me for the last time tomorrow or the day after or a week from now, not knowing when I'll eat next or if I'll be able to pay the bills or if those jerks who broke into the neighbor's place will break into our place next.

I feel unsafe. I feel sick and weak and totally helpless and not really hopeful that things will ever be better.

I'm on the same plane, it's really bothering me right now especially while going to school because if I stop I'll be so far in debt. I will have no one to run to or help me not much longer. I hope you'll be safe and get the help that you need.

 

[Srijita52]

Life is like a Chinese finger trap, the more I resist being stuck and try to free myself, the more stuck I get..

I agree with you on that.

 

[this_portrait]

I suppose I feel content, in a 'life sucks' kind of way.

 

[Srijita52]

I'm on the same plane, it's really bothering me right now especially while going to school because if I stop I'll be so far in debt. I will have no one to run to or help me not much longer. I hope you'll be safe and get the help that you need.

I hope you get the help you need too Beleza.

 

[Srijita52]

I suppose I feel content, in a 'life sucks' kind of way.

Same here...