Goodbye - and take care

[KiaKaha]

I am beginning to not really care about my life all that much anymore...I am not happy, I dont think I ever really will be. I cant remember the last time I really felt free or that things were good.... Worst of all... I just dont care about anything really... My mind feels so bogged down with bad feelings that its hard to think straight which makes me appear bewildered and crazy. I pretend a lot, just to get through a day and act normal.. I don't have any friends, I dont think anyone really cares about me and if they do, they do because its their profession...not because of who I am. I find it to humiliating and painful to be around others, everything is awkward and I feel repulsive by my own appearance.... it irritates me that everyone else is manages to deal with their own problems but I cant... I am also tired of asking for help and never receiving it, being ignored or that I am making it up and told to just deal with it. So for this reason I want to feel as bad as possible about everything.. because I give up trying, I figure 31 years of not feeling good I probably never will... So I am leaving. Good luck to everyone... I am sure you will do a lot better than me.

 

[Darryl]

Shykiwi,

Your part of the SPW family and we care about you.

Soon as make your first post we build up a bond.
We responded to your work/meeting issue- we cared because your family and we help you though it.

You've helped family on here before which means you care about us.
Keep asking questions as what you and everyone else on here is looking for answers.

Sometimes the answers don't help-but people care enough to respond.
Other times you will get told different things and out of everything that is said a couple of words is all it takes.

Darryl

 

[JamesSmith]

Although what you said was severely negative and screams depression, you have some very good points. You have found the meaning of life: there is no meaning. I don't have friends either, really. I mean i have friends but haven't hung out w/ them in 5 years. You found another life lesson, no one cares about you. Everyone is out for themselves for the most part. Yes, there are good people out there, but most people are trying to get theirs. As long as things are going well for them, they could care less about what is happening in some shy person's life. I hung out with my friends for a year and a half during college years, and then I just slowly faded away. When I had left for good, I wondered why nobody ever contacted me. They had my phone number, but they never called. You know why they never tried to contact me? Because people only care about themselves and we don't matter. Once i left, they just had other people to talk to and could care less about me because they had no use for me. The lesson that we have learned is that we don't matter to other people for the most part, because there are other people in the world that they can use to be friends with and be entertained.

The world is crap. I know this as well as you do. But I also know that we CAN be happy. You should never give up on trying to find some kind of happiness. You know, we may never be as happy as "normal" people, but that doesn't mean we can't find a way to enjoy life. Keep searching and thinking for ways to make the most of your life. You're 31 right? You aren't even half way dead yet. You have lots of time to do stuff.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

I have always enjoyed your posts dave, even if i didnt reply i quietly admired them. You probably wont believe me but there is hope for you. Even though it probably feels like it, your future isnt predetermined, its never too late to change your life for the better. I hope you can find a way to get yourself out of the dark place you are in at the moment, and i hope you do return here, if not then stay in touch. Take care man

 

[Kiwong]

Keep fighting mate, that's all I can say.

I've only seen one photo of you and I reckon you look like Darren Lehman the former Aussie cricketer, and far from repulsive, believe me.

You're only 31, it can get better. Keep throwing yourself at the world, it's hard but sometimes you'll win.

 

[Ignace]

Another one leaving ? ::

According to your post: don't do anything stupid ..

 

[Falkor]

Take Care and wishes you all the best in life =)

 

[DespairSoul]

Hello Skykiwi,

We was never talking, but i was reading few of your post and i could relate to a lot of things what i wrote. Im sorry to hear that u feel so bad and unhappy. I wish i could magicly cure here everyone including me. I too personaly dont believe here is some cure for this what i feel. I think turned me so much that i cant never be happy as people wich dont have clue about depressions and feeling upset all the time. I wish us brains work normaly and we dont feel dont loved and that people dont care about us so much. Yes people are selfish and always they will be, if u avoid them they avoid u because no one like complicated things and we are complicated. People dont please for someones company if they can reach other one with out problems. Maybe u are naturaly buildet introvert and u dont understand extoverts so im. But i appreaciate a lot extroverts. I long be extrovert but i cant be. There is yet a lot of things what u wasnt seeing yet around u. Dont give up !!! Please u are nice person i feel it and is sad if someone like u want give up

 

[panicsurvivor]

I really don't know what to say, or if you are going to read this. But I can't let someone as cool as you get off that easy without saying something. To quote Liam Neesan in one of the worst movies of all time, "your focus determines your reality". I am not going to tell you how wonderful the world is or that there is some snake oil cure for what you are. I just want to you to do things for yourself. It really doesn't matter what they are. I know you are a fellow p90xer, keep it up. Play video games, watch movies, go hiking, get a dog, **** man masterbate alot. It really doesn't matter. Sometimes I think people on this forum might be better of if they weren't on it. Lets face it spending hours on the internet is not a solution to SA. In fact it probably makes it worse. So whenever I see people leaving the site, I always hope that maybe they might get a suprise and find happiness in the 3D world. I hope with all my heart that this happens for you. Just don't drown in your own sorrow. The meaning of life is very simple, so simple that it escapes everyone. Laugh!!!! That is basically it. Just find things that put a smile on your face. Aside from having a roof, toilet, and food and water, there is nothing else. Like I said your focus determines your reality. Find a way to laugh, and if you do don't let anyone tell you that it isn't good enough because it is. Goodbye my friend.

 

[MollyBeGood]

bye skykiwi -come back anytime you seemed really nice. Sorry we never got to chat or nothing.

 

[Snowdrop]

It's sad seeing people leave this site :: but if it feels like what you have to do then I wish you the best of luck, I am sure there are people out there who care about you Shykiwi even if you do not know, certainly, we all do here It is strange how this site can form so many bonds in a day we would never achieve in a few years... don't ever lose hope, Bye bye

 

[Lionheart]

................

 

[sunboy400]

I like most others on this site feel your pain so you have to be strong and hang in there while we all try to help you out.

 

[SonicMan]

I wish you the best of luck and I hope you keep trying.

 

[fitftw]

ShyKiwi, you are always welcome here. I feel the same way about my life. Every day I wonder why I do anything. It all seems pointless and trite. I hate the process of living. I don't want to get a 9-5 M-F for the rest of my life, that just seems so stupid.

 

[BlackPuma]

Hey, Kiwi. I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving SPW.
You'll be dearly missed.

If it means anything, I always considered you one of the good guys. I don't remember the names of those that don't matter to me, but I did remember yours. Vividly. Just remember, no matter how bad things get, keep going. There's nothing definitely written for your future, and literally anything can happen. Stay strong, move forward.

You're always welcome to come back, yah hear? :3 Good luck.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Regrettably I don't recall talking with you much, but I do recall receiving lots of replies from you and your advice has made me feel a lot better on many occasions. I've noticed that a lot of people have been leaving this site lately, and what panicsurvivor said about people with SA being better off in real life than here on this site is making me wonder if that may be true. I might even be joining you and others in leaving the site sometime soon. But anyway, to cut my nonsensical rambling short, I can conclude that you're a good person and your time here on the site won't be in vain because I'm positive you'll be remembered by me and the other users here for your good advice and compassionate input.

All I want to ask of you for now is to never give up on yourself. You will eventually find a way to cure yourself. It's never easy for anyone like us to do so, but just know that in time you will be saved and you will find happiness - it's out there somewhere for everyone. I give you my best wishes and hope the best for you out there in the real world.

Goodbye ShyKiwi, please take good care of yourself.

 

[aien89]

Shykiwi, as some people have mentioned, we are one big family here and WE care about you and WE are your friends. So you do have friends!

I just wish I could do anything to help you and people who feel like you. But the problem is that our SAD is spread everywhere around the world. I'm from Denmark and I don't think there's even one Dane here.

Don't give up - give it a chance, mate! Think positively - I also have felt crap like you do but it CAN change if you try and really believe in it.

 

[Hellhound]

Are you sure you want to leave? People here care about you...

 

[Phoenixx]

I never really knew you, but it's sad to see you (and so many others) are leaving. I wish you the best of luck for the future and please don't give up trying.