Eating alone in restaurants

[zav943]

Can anyone do it?
Can you go to a nice restaurant by yourself to have dinner?

I can't...not because I'm anxious of the surroundings, but because I'm anxious about being judged...I will also feel like crap, looking around me seeing friends, dates and families chatting it up...

What are your thoughts on that?

 

[agoraphobickatie]

i'd never be able to do that.. i'd be very bored, and restaurants/having people wait on me makes me anxious anyways.... i do have plenty of friends who do that on their lunch breaks and all and they have no problem with it, they're just there to eat and don't worry what others are thinking, i guess..

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

Nah.
It'd be hard enough even just eating alone at a fast food joint.
Actually, come to think about it, it sucks being alone just about anywhere.

 

[IamThisOne]

The only places I eat alone is at a fast food restaurants. I could never go to a "sit down" restaurant like Chilies or Red Lobster by myself because then I'd have to talk to the waiter and I'd get too uncomfortable.

 

[Fear of people]

Can anyone do it?
Can you go to a nice restaurant by yourself to have dinner?

I can't...not because I'm anxious of the surroundings, but because I'm anxious about being judged...I will also feel like crap, looking around me seeing friends, dates and families chatting it up...

What are your thoughts on that?

Yeah...sitting by your lonesome at a restaurant and eating by yourself, feels to lonely for me...seeing other people laughing and basically having fun with family or friends and here are you...with nobody to talk to...how depressing is that. I would rather stay home and eat something in front of the TV...well at least the television keeps you company.

 

[Steve23]

It depends on the atmosphere really. I'm fine eating at casual places like pizza joints, sushi places, cafes and diners. More upscale places like steakhouses, or bistros would make me more uncomfortable dining alone.

 

[mercyshy]

I can't eat alone in a restaurant or fast food, is it another signs of SAD? I thought it is just a normal thing. It's an awkward and strange feeling that makes me uncomfortable coz I think everyone is staring at me. I am too shy to talk to strangers esp waiters.

 

[Kiwong]

I'd probably be OK with it, but I don't eat at restuarants by myself or with others.

 

[HeadFace]

I havent really ever ate at a nice resturaunt where you go in and talk to the waiter for your seat and they serve you by yourself. I'd imagine it bein very awkward for you and the waiter... I don't think I'd enjoy it... But I wouldnt be afraid to. I've eaten at cafe's, a deli joint (Subways), fast food places, and a mexican resturaunt by myself. It's awkward to eat by yourself, when the place is quite empty. But I get used to it. Unfortuanetly the cafe by my house closed and I have no idea what they'll replace it with.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I prefer eating on my own and in silence. This is not related to my SA. It has been suggested that eating in silence causes a person to enjoy their food more, and helps them feel satisfied earlier which leads to better digestion. If I'm hungry and tired, I want to eat without having to talk to anyone or listen to anyone talk. Apparently, this comes across as rude.

Although, I would not mind going to a nice restaurant by myself, it seems more of a hassle and waste than anything else. What do I do while I wait for my meal? Sit stiffly and stare at people? Finish an entire bottle of wine? Maybe I could surf the net if I had an iPhone?

Now, I would prefer having a picnic on my own, or go to a café or a low-key establishment or anywhere I can sit outside on a nice day. This would be much more relaxed and I could maybe kick up my feet and read a book, or surf the net on my laptop. I couldn't do that at a nice restaurant.

 

[BlackPuma]

Financially, I can't. But otherwise I wouldn't do it either. Eating (especially dinner) is one of the few pleasures I have left. So I won't even begin the consider to do it in a public area and risk it becoming a negative experience. With others I might, but only out of courtesy.

I'd rather slave in the kitchen for a while and eat my dinner whilst watching a nice TV show. ;3

 

[Verynervous]

I can't do it even at a fast food place. I get worried about people looking at me and thinking im a loner or something.

I wish I could not care what people think then nothing would be much of a problem.

 

[Ecclesiastes]

I've told this to people around me when we touch on this topic but am often called to be eccentric.

:/ I'd rather starve than to eat alone. Not even if it's just to go somewhere nearby to get food. I just hate that feeling, idk why..

When I'm out with friends and if I see people eating alone, a lot of thoughts would fly through my mind )): I wonder how they are able to step in to tell the Waiter/Waitress "table for 1"...?

 

[Damaged]

I can't even eat in a restaurant with people let alone by myself haha

For some reason wherever i am when im out i find it really hard to eat, because when i have panic attacks sometimes i feel sick so i think its better that i don't incase i am.

 

[Emily_G]

The only reason I enjoy going out to eat is because I get to spend time with my hubby, or family or whoever I go with. Going along defeats the purpose for me.

 

[appletree]

interesting question,
i do it all the time.
there is a noodle place in town i love, it's odd actually i wouldn't describe myself as naturally a social phobic but i think it's happened over time as my friends have got more busy lives and it's sort of like people don't seem to talk to me much or be friends with me...sad i know.
only so long before i become a total recluse.

 

[zav943]

AMENDMENT:

Would you go watch a movie by yourself?

One of my friends who is VERY social (and very good looking I might add)...I kinda told her about my AVPD, and she mentioned to me that she goes to the theater by herself a lot.

I'm not sure to believe her or not (maybe she was just trying to be helpful), but if it's true, then we have nothing to worry about! If social people can go to theaters without a problem all by themselves...

 

[Feathers]

I've been to restaurants and to the movie theatre alone too.. It's not a big deal, you just sit and wait, lol. You can bring a magazine or something to read, or a notebook or paper to write stuff.. I enjoyed writing in a cool cafe too, made me feel like JK Rowling... People may think you're a reporter or something.. Sometimes you meet someone you know (who's alone too) and may sit together.. Or if there's no room you can share table with someone else and maybe chat a bit.. Or not, as you wish..

I had a few places I was more comfortable going alone too, usually I was there with friends or co-workers first, and then just went alone when I felt like eating there.. And maybe next time I was with someone again.. The waiters were just happy you bring them business!! And some may chat or flirt with you, lol! (Though some of that can be a bit weird, ha ha!)

If I really needed to eat and I was in a hurry... there's just no doubt for me to just go and eat. (I've seen plenty of goodlooking people eating alone too!) You may just be busy and not have time to get together a whole bunch of people to go with, or others may be busy or not have the money, or a whole bunch of other explanations may be possible...

And if I really wanted to see a movie that nobody else wanted to, or had a window of time unexpectedly, and no one else had time then... I just went and watched it. It may be easier if you come a bit late when everyone is seated.. Sometimes friends just have different tastes in movies... (Or some people can be annoying to watch with.) I prefer to watch with friends, if I really like a movie, it doesn't matter.. (Or nowadays you can see it online or on DVD, but not all films.)

A friend of mine (very goodlooking and social otherwise!) even went to bars/'out at night' alone too.. I never dared to do that... Another one went to eg dorm parties (alone) if she knew other known people would be present.. I never dared to do that though, except maybe returning back to friends.. I've even won tickets to cool concerts and didn't go (when everyone else was busy or not interested, or it was last-minute and there were other plans).. So, hm? That's definitely a whole different category for me though...

 

[fitftw]

I can sit at a bar alone no problem. I cannot sit at a table by myself.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

i went once because i got lost in the countryside and that was the only place availablee.. it was this sit down tea place :S i sat down for a sandwich and it was connected to this mini grocery store then got cheese and bread for traveling.. it was kinda a resaurant.. i think if it was a place i could have known people then i would have been more anxious..if it's somewhere you don't go daily, who cares. it was somewat weird because this other person was sitting alone like me and kept looking over eeee fun..