Do you have problems with the opposite gender?

[Waybuloo]

i'd move my seat closer if you sat next to me

Well ok I don't know whether to laugh or cry..

Well I agree with coyote on this....maybe if you didn't hate them so much maybe they will not run from you.

I never hated these people - they are just strangers to me, like most people are to me, and hence I am indifferent towards them. I hate them as a result of them humiliating me by moving away and bitching about me. Because if that ever happens to you it would be humiliating and embarassing and confirm your worst fears about yourself. I gather it's because I look nervous and somehow that insults them.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I have always been able to get along w/ the opposite sex really well compared to women which I am one so go figure. I guess it's because I am not into shoes and shopping (oh so rare an occasion anyway) so that makes me not female i guess? Also I like to curse and get dirty and rough house so girls think I am not girlie enough idk and I don't care anymore. I like guys better anyways.

 

[Gaucho]

yes sir.
well, i sometimes think that with this or that girl i have possibilities, but also think that as soon as they know how Stupid, insecure,etc i am, that there is no way they wanna stay with me any longer.
so i don't even bother to start a conversation

 

[O'Killian]

Off the cuff I'd say that I just have problems with people, gender aside. Thinking a little more on it, though, I've had a lot more female friends than male friends, though that may be purely coincidence.

I'm certainly not more uncomfortable around women (and possibly more comfortable; I find machismo offputting). I occasionally attribute this to the fact most of my early childhood playmates were girls and to the fact that I have exactly one male cousin (out of nine).

 

[Iluv]

I have trust issues with them. I don't let guys get close to me and if they do I run the other way.

 

[doubleM]

yeah. they all hate me.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

Yes, I used to enjoy having friendships with men, but now I am unsure if the feeling is mutual. I think that they only want to be more than just friends, which hurts sometimes when I realise this. If a man continues talking to me does it mean that he just wants to talk or does it mean that he just wants to... you know...? I know it depends on the person, but it appears to me that men do not willingly pursue friendships with the opposite sex (the infamous 'friend-zone' they call it).

It is just so much simpler to pursue friendships with other women (already complicated by SA) so I have limited my interactions with men because I believe they value me based on how attractive they find me. I have been convinced that the majority of men are somewhat shallow and are not interested in me for reasons other than my female parts (sorry, I do not mean to offend any men if this does not apply to you). I wish it was not true but it has altered my view of the opposite sex in such way that I don't know if I like or trust men at all anymore. Which is a shame because I had such a great time being friends with them when I was a child, when sex was not an issue.

Romantic interactions are also not an option for me at this time due to crippling AvPD and BDD.

 

[twiggle]

Yes, I used to enjoy having friendships with men, but now I am unsure if the feeling is mutual. I think that they only want to be more than just friends, which hurts sometimes when I realise this. If a man continues talking to me does it mean that he just wants to talk or does it mean that he just wants to... you know...? I know it depends on the person, but it appears to me that men do not willingly pursue friendships with the opposite sex (the infamous 'friend-zone' they call it).

It is just so much simpler to pursue friendships with other women (already complicated by SA) so I have limited my interactions with men because I believe they value me based on how attractive they find me. I have been convinced that the majority of men are somewhat shallow and are not interested in me for reasons other than my female parts (sorry, I do not mean to offend any men if this does not apply to you). I wish it was not true but it has altered my view of the opposite sex in such way that I don't know if I like or trust men at all anymore. Which is a shame because I had such a great time being friends with them when I was a child, when sex was not an issue.

Romantic interactions are also not an option for me at this time due to crippling AvPD and BDD.

This is exactly the way I feel.
And I really don't want to sound like I'm generalising, because I don't get this feeling from all guys (like the ones on here I chat to) And I have a few guy friends in real life too, but not a lot. I don't really find it hard to chat with other men just in my position at the moment I don't get to meet many new ones.
But generally, in real life,I find it hard to have decent friendships with guys. Too many times now I've become friends with guys only to realise they were just after one thing all along. Acting as though they were my friends, then getting drunk and trying it on. Nevermind who I am as a person then. And I get annoyed when guys linger around for ages pretending like they want to be friends with your friendship group and then really you find out its just because they fancy one of your friends. I prefer to be friends with other girls simply because they're not going to turn around and make the friendship awkward one day (in this manner at least).
I'm sure that girls can be like it to to boys too though.
I guess its just the general difficulty of having platonic friendships these days.

 

[megalon]

I feel like I can relax and be myself more around women, until it comes to the point of asserting myself and showing romantic interest at least. When talking to other men, I feel threatened, like I need to compete and do the macho thing.

 

[dyingtolive]

theres just so many awkward situations in real life...

going to school... is one
meeting people... is another

but if you were forced to be with other people, male or female.. and you just stopped caring about stuff, then its easier to get along and be yourself...

Its hard when others don't allow me to be myself. Or I feel they are not allowing me to be myself, or feel comfortable being myself, or feel enough as a person to their eyes. People are strange when you're the stranger. So being alone, you can be yourself more easily.
But its just that were always in these awkward situations and its not always easy to handle them.

But beautiful girls on the other hand, omg. It can be really difficult. But I avoid beautiful girls because they are scary. I feel like I am not clean or perfect enough to be in their presence sometimes. Like, what am i doing in your presence? I don't belong here. This is like a "Bug". There's something wrong, it's not supposed to happen. lol

 

[kilojoule]

I have problems with all genders. Its not a gender thing. Its a people thing lol.

I just take a reaaally long time to warm to a lot of people. These days Im just really uncomfortable with people generally

 

[dyingtolive]

Definitely hard to get close to someone... Easier to run away, coz then they'd learn about my agoraphobia and how pathetic it can be.. Very unmanly right. Avoiding phonecalls, avoiding people, etc.. And how uncomfortable I am with people and myself, It's not something i think any woman would accept in a guy without thinking its pathetic.

Its easier to put on a front and pretend to be normal. Not easy, but easier..

 

[polishgirl]

Yeah, I actually do. I'm not confident enough to be around guys... I feel like they have a good first impression of me, feel attracted to me often but when I start talking it's all ruined. So I don't talk. Or if I do, I'm so nervous it comes off as rude and forced. It's all a matter of my crappy, unattractive personality.

In other words, guys hate me and there is nothing I can do to change it. Even though I like spending time with them, I have an older brother and share some typical guy interest.

 

[ohheybbyitscorixx]

In most situations I can't talk to anyone, regardless of gender; so don't feel bad about it.. Screw percieved normality, 'normality' only leads to unecessary stress and BS in your life..

It's true!


I have a problem speaking to "stereotypes" of genders. So, men who seem like the stereotype of what a man is "supposed" to be, and the same with women. For some reason, it makes me feel uneasy, because I do not feel like I am a defined "man" OR "woman". I feel like a person who likes what they like.

 

[chibiXphantom]

i have more problems talking to the SAME gender. girls make me uncomfortable and nervous. i always think theyre judging me. i think its cause girls were always mean to me in high school. ive always felt more comfortable around guys. theyve always been nice to me and i just relate to guys more it seems

 

[gustavofring]

I have a problem speaking to "stereotypes" of genders. So, men who seem like the stereotype of what a man is "supposed" to be, and the same with women. For some reason, it makes me feel uneasy, because I do not feel like I am a defined "man" OR "woman". I feel like a person who likes what they like.

I know what you mean, those pre-defined conditioned roles are very annoying. But that goes for many roles people play.

 

[How_slow_the_Wind]

I am a gay man and I am still awkward around most women. I'm not very physically attractive so I think the shallow ones don't want to talk to a creep. With the more down to earth ones, I think my humour and personality is too abrupt and strange, so once again I come off as a weirdo. I've only ever had women physically move away from me rather than sit next to me in random settings (those moments hurt:: )

But you know, I'm not going to accuse the entire female race as being evil. In my freshman year at Uni, the few aquaintances I managed to make were all females, which is funny considering I only had guy friends in highschool and didn't even talk to any females during highschool because of the emanating rejection signals. Also, probably the closest relationship I have is with my sister.

I dunno why I can't make female friends. I like to think I'd be pretty good with it. Being homo, I'd have zero interest in sex and my values are quite feminist anyway. But then I suppose the whole social retard and zero life experience comes into play ::

 

[Kiwong]

I associate the opposite gender with uncomfortable feelings of fear, rejection and potential for misunderstanding.

 

[Marlow]

I am extremely nervous and awkward around any women I am attracted to, but I guess that's normal.

As far as which gender I generally get along with more, I definitely get along with females better than males.

Women just seem to be more compassionate and easier to talk to, like their first reaction isn't to laugh at you if something happens. With guys I feel like it's a constant competition over something. "I got a large drink while we were having lunch, you only got a medium you wuss."

But have to be careful with some women. They smile to your face and then ridicule you behind your back. Can leave a very bad feeling if you find out or overhear them.

 

[bleach]

This is exactly the way I feel.
And I really don't want to sound like I'm generalising, because I don't get this feeling from all guys (like the ones on here I chat to) And I have a few guy friends in real life too, but not a lot. I don't really find it hard to chat with other men just in my position at the moment I don't get to meet many new ones.
But generally, in real life,I find it hard to have decent friendships with guys. Too many times now I've become friends with guys only to realise they were just after one thing all along. Acting as though they were my friends, then getting drunk and trying it on. Nevermind who I am as a person then. And I get annoyed when guys linger around for ages pretending like they want to be friends with your friendship group and then really you find out its just because they fancy one of your friends. I prefer to be friends with other girls simply because they're not going to turn around and make the friendship awkward one day (in this manner at least).
I'm sure that girls can be like it to to boys too though.
I guess its just the general difficulty of having platonic friendships these days.

so if a guy is attracted to you you think that means he doesnt care about you as a person? that makes no sense