Do you blame your parents?

You don't have to hate them. Everybody makes mistakes. Or maybe they had disorders of their own. Parents aren't superhuman, they're just older and had sex.

yes ........

both of them for different things. i love them sometimes, i hate them others.

I blame my dad because he's always been paranoid about everything and pretty much kept me from doing anything with other people. My mom wanted my brother and I to have swimming lessons when we were little with my cousins and grandma, but we couldn't go because we might drown. Around the same time, my mom took us down the street to get mail while he was at work and he called. He decided that because she didn't annswer, we had all been kidnapped or killed.

Not too long after that he did the same thing when the three of us went somewhere with one of my mom's friends. He called at 7-ish, before we got there while he was on a golf trip a few states away. He literally called every other minute saying he was packing up to come home and look for us. If we got back when he decided we should have been we would have had to have turned around before we got there.

As far as I'm aware after that my mom just gave up. However, two years ago with my driving teacher, we ended up leaving 20 minutes late and got back just five minutes later than usual. When he got home he called my mom to ask why we weren't home yet. He decided we had crashed and died. And he's the one trying to force me to get a driver's license...

My mom is perfectly fine, though. She seems convinced I have a secret girlfriend at school no matter what I tell her.

Grandma dying certainly didn't help with my problems. If she were still alive I really think I'd be better off.

No. They've tried the best they can to help me.

Although, I have to say, they certainly dealt me a terrible set of genes!

No. They did the best that they knew how too. I dont think anyone gets the parenthood thing perfectly.
I do wish that they had encouraged me more, and taught me more about life to make me a stronger person... I just bumbled my way through it.

In part yes. I moved home to often and never felt settled anywhere. Not long enough to make friends.

A little bit,my parents have always been really overprotective & I guess it contributed to my SA a lot.

Partly yes, because my mom sheltered me too much and is way overprotective, didnt really give me the chance to just learn some things on my own, which wouldve given me much more confidence and independence now.

Did they cause it? Probably yes. But do i blame them? No i dont. I believe they tried to do whatever they thought was best for me. How could i blame them for doing their best.

Blaming at my parents just seems pointless to me.

my wife blames her parents.

Me, meh, not really. My father was always good and did the best he could for me. My mother was b@tsh!t crazy but that wasnt somthing she could control....just the hand she got dealt.

I think ive got a balance going on 🙂

In hindsight, I wish my parents had pushed me more to advance myself careerwise. If my rare risks don't lead to success, I use the discouragement as a reason (excuse?) to retreat. But it's ultimately me that has to stick my own neck out, I know.

Nah i don't blame them, they're sweethearts:)

mad2rix said: ↑

Blaming at my parents just seems pointless to me.

Yeah, I totally agree. There is nothing to be gained by it. If anything it would hurt me because I could use is as an excuse to avoid certain ways of living my life.

I do.

Although my mom has helped me with some things, on our day to day interactions she is a cold, anxious, and often hostile person who is constantly badgering me for the stupidest thing like leaving a glass out. I don't find her supportive with emotional issues or making decisions either, and often makes me feel that I'm bugging her if I need to talk to her. I know she loves me, but the way she treats me is crappy.

As for my dad, I haven't spoken or seen him in several years, if that says anything. Just another bum. I don't even know where he lives at this point.

I have a lot of resentment towards my parents. I feel that I could have been a different person if they couldve been less selfish, as the op mentioned about his parents.

BlueDays said: ↑

My father, or lack of a father, was definitely a contributing factor.
How can a father not think of the damage it would do to not have contact with his own child?:🙁:

This is my problem too. 🙁

And my mother thinks that it's "an dead issue" and doesn't talk about it. If I bring it up in a discussion she usually claims it's old news and I basically need to get over it. I mean, wth?

I think I was greatly influenced by their behavior which was oftentimes destructive, but I don't blame them for it. They're human. When I think how many flaws I have, it's mind-boggling. So for me to hold anything against my parents seems hypocritical and pointless. And no matter how much I think I was held back by their violence, arguments and manipulation, it's a complete waste of time to get angry over it. My life is mine to lead, and I just have to try and get on with it.

People don't want to confront their mistakes and forcing them to try and do so just causes more hurt and frustration all across the board. I've learned that people essentially live in their own little fantasy worlds and tell themselves whatever truths they need to in order to sleep at night. As I've said in the past, reality is different for everyone.

sure I blame them for some things..but then there comes a point when I think there comes a time to take responsibility for ones own life and choices..thats just called growing up:cool:

No I don't blame them, they may have saved my life. If I hadn't had them to turn to during the hell I went through in high school, I may not have survived.

Having great parents and a good childhood doesn't prepare you for the dysfucntional **** of a place the world can be.