Do you blame your parents?
- Thread starter whatisis
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Paahi
Well-known member
o.o
i am sorry.
mikebird
Banned
The point would be to take the pressure off you. You can stop blaming yourself for everything that's gone wrong forever. Find the root cause, and then you have a grounding on reality to work from
simpsons2007
Well-known member
No I don't blame my parents. Well... not my mum anyway.
But I don't think it helped not have my dad around. I had no male roll model at all growing up. I lived in a house full of women. So I didn't have anyone to show me how to stick up for myself against the bullies.
But I don't think it helped not have my dad around. I had no male roll model at all growing up. I lived in a house full of women. So I didn't have anyone to show me how to stick up for myself against the bullies.
R3K
Well-known member
i answered yes to the pole, but not in the same sense everyone else is answering yes. my parents tried their hardest to help me in every stage of my life, even before i battered the concept of social phobia into their ignorant skulls. now i realize, the only way they can truly help me is to be virtually nonexistant, so the terabytes-worth of anxiety attack memories in my past won't be reopened like old wounds at the very sight of them(my parents), the sound of their voices, their constant, innocently veiled nagging over this or that...
Kinda. My mom has been really cold and mean to me my entire life. It's probably to the point of psychological abuse. Who tells their 13-year-old daughter they're never gonna do anything with their lives and that they're useless? That and the general "ew, get away from me" thing she's been doing towards me for as long as I can remember, definitely has something to do with it.
My dad has always been a very shy/introverted/social phobic person himself, and although I don't actually blame him for it, I am sure I've gotten some of it from him as well.
So, I am not angry or bitter with my dad. He can't help it, and he's always been nice and supportive towards me. But I am slightly bitter over what my mom has done to me since I was little. It's like she enjoys putting me down and picking at me. She's a nice person and everything - just not to me.
I try to forgive but I'm not there yet. Maybe when I'm better I'll be able to.
I'd also like to add that I don't think my parents are the main reason why I'm in this crap now. But that they're a part of it, yes.
My dad has always been a very shy/introverted/social phobic person himself, and although I don't actually blame him for it, I am sure I've gotten some of it from him as well.
So, I am not angry or bitter with my dad. He can't help it, and he's always been nice and supportive towards me. But I am slightly bitter over what my mom has done to me since I was little. It's like she enjoys putting me down and picking at me. She's a nice person and everything - just not to me.
I try to forgive but I'm not there yet. Maybe when I'm better I'll be able to.
I'd also like to add that I don't think my parents are the main reason why I'm in this crap now. But that they're a part of it, yes.
thegunners21
Well-known member
My father, or lack of a father, was definitely a contributing factor.
How can a father not think of the damage it would do to not have contact with his own child?::
So sorry to hear that.
v_coccotti
Well-known member
I kind of blame them.
I have no idea really. Sort of yes, sort of no.
talisman
Well-known member
I was lucky to have loving parents who were always there for me, but unfortunately they never really encouraged me to grow up or have any independence until I reached adulthood by which time I didn't have all the life skills I should have. So they sheltered me too much and I think that's contributed a lot to my SA.
Pastafarian London Girl
Member
My dad died when I was young. My mum used to talk for me because I didn't, but then I didn't talk because I knew she'd talk for me. It was kind of a viscous cycle I guess.
There are things that my mum and my nan could have done differently, but I can't blame them, there was more to it than that.
There are things that my mum and my nan could have done differently, but I can't blame them, there was more to it than that.
lyricalliaisons
Well-known member
I only blame them for not getting me help when I was a child, when my problems started, but not for my problems themselves.
No, I think I was born with it. So if anything, I blame them for the genes. Though my mom did tell me something the other day I didn't remember: she said when I was little, I came home (from I guess nursery school?) with a sign I made that said "No Yelling" and I told her it was very important because it would make daddy stop yelling. But I doubt that started my problems...
MaliceInWickedland
Well-known member
Not at all. My father was very good to me the first 7 years of my life when he was still alive and my mom is very supportive and understanding of my anxiety, especially since she suffered from the same thing when she was my age. She still has some anxiety but she's gotten over hers quite considerably so I'm confident that some day I will overcome it for the most part like she did.
breakthespell
Well-known member
Not at all. My parents are loving/caring and in many ways just as me when it comes to a lot of stuff, just not in the SA kind of way. They have been understanding since my problems started, when I was 12-13, and they are still to this day. I've grown up in an open hearted home where we address our problems (me and my sister) and discuss openly. So no, for me this has nothing to do with them, in fact they make my life a little more worth living.
JohnnyJohnW
Member
They gave me life, so how can I hate them. I love my parents.