dear coyote

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

I'm going to ask you a really cereal question. How do you stay so youthful and alive man? Do you suck peoples souls at night? Is it your diet? Your face wash? Or do you just get it from yo mama?

dear Beleza,

my favorite cereal is Post Great Grains - Raisins, Dates, and Pecans. it's great with Almond Breeze almond milk.

longevity seems to run in my family - my great grandmother lived to be 101, my grandfather was 99. sure, my dad died two days after he retired on his 65th birthday, but he had smoked two packs of unfiltered menthol cigarettes a day for 50 years, so it was surprising he made it that long.

apparently, the ability to fly does NOT run in my family - judging from the number of relatives who met an early demise from leaping out of high-rise apartment windows

as for my mama, she recently turned 80 years old and shows no sign of slowing down. she has a red hat and purple sweater and is not afraid to use them.

genetics make a difference - i've been very fortunate to have what i do in my jeans

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

I heard on the grapevine that Hubert was on the verge of a mental breakdown, just letting you know so you can keep a close eye on him.

dear Mr. hidwell,

thank you for your concern. in response to your post, i took my assistant, Hubert, to see a my specialist, who was able to determine, after a lengthy examination, that Hubert does not have any sexually transmitted diseases

in the words of the immortal, Marvin Gaye:

People say, 'believe half of what you see
Son, and none of what you hear...'

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

Why is the phrase "fight fire with fire"? Surely the best way to fight fire is with water, or in the case of an electrical fire with carbon dioxide or possibly some kind of foaming agent which would reduce the fire's supply of oxygen? Adding more fire to a fire would just seem to me to create a larger fire.

(The one exception might be forest fires, where deliberately burning an area in a controlled manner would prevent the wildfire from crossing the boundary and thus contain it.)

~ RB

dear Mr. Broam,

fighting fire with fire was most notably used by farmers and ranchers on the American prairie to combat wild fires or grass fires - and is still done today

quite often there, in remote areas of grassland, there is no nearby water source available from which to draw enough water to use to extinguish blazes that can cover many thousands of acres in a short amount of time. so the only way to combat them is to set a "backfire" to consume all of the fule sources in the path of the oncoming inferno in the hopes that there will be nothing left to burn. sometimes the backfires get out of control (particularly considering the windy conditions on the prairie) and cause as much damage as the initial fire. this is mostly likely where the term "backfire" comes from - meaning something that goes terribly wrong unintentionally

and even in an idiomatic or euphemistic sense, the danger of fighting fire with fire is always that something will backfire and turn out worse than you expected

 

[GraybeardGhost]

Dear Coyote,

What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Sincerely,
Off-Key in Oskaloosa

 

[Section_31]

Dear Coyote,

I dont like food anymore!!. it gets you addicted and then it jacks up the price!!!

I demand somthing be done about this terrible unjustice immediately!. Or i curse the organizers of this conspiracy with a thousand bundeshafts!!

Love,

TLG

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Sincerely,
Off-Key in Oskaloosa

dear Off-Key,

i suppose i'd get by...

with a little help from my friends

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

I dont like food anymore!!. it gets you addicted and then it jacks up the price!!!

I demand somthing be done about this terrible unjustice immediately!. Or i curse the organizers of this conspiracy with a thousand bundeshafts!!

Love,

TLG

dear TLG,

i'm glad to hear you are no longer feeling like food

as a human being, your place in the food chain is much higher than most other creatures, and the chances of you being preyed upon by anything else are remote - as long as you stay away from the open sea, the rainforest, or the west side of Chicago

good luck!

 

[Shenmue]

Dear Coyote

I've noticed you have over 1,300 friends on SPW. Not to mention a staggering 11,000 posts to your name. These figures don't lie. This can only mean one thing. You plan on using your vast wisdom and your legion of friends to overthrow the great Remus and become the Head Super Moderator.

After the blood thirsty coup is over, I hope you will be gracious and merciful to those that didn't support you.

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote

I've noticed you have over 1,300 friends on SPW. Not to mention a staggering 11,000 posts to your name. These figures don't lie. This can only mean one thing. You plan on using your vast wisdom and your legion of friends to overthrow the great Remus and become the Head Super Moderator.

After the blood thirsty coup is over, I hope you will be gracious and merciful to those that didn't support you.

dear Shenmue,

apparently, i was bored that night

i personally have no aspirations of power nor desire for politics

having held the position of a department administrator in county government, i can tell you that having that sort of burdensome responsibility is not all it's cracked up to be

in light of the rumors you have brought forward, my assistant, Hubert, has contacted Mr. Remus' office and communicated our continued support for his administration. i also asked him to re-up my bid for the position of Hospitality Coordinator.

 

[MoonBoom]

genetics make a difference - i've been very fortunate to have what i do in my jeans

Oh Coyote you dirty boy

 

[awkwardamanda]

apparently, the ability to fly does NOT run in my family - judging from the number of relatives who met an early demise from leaping out of high-rise apartment windows

But can't you just walk off a cliff and keep going as long as you don't look down?

 

[MikeyC]

Dear coyote,

Why are you so awesome?

Sincerely, Confused And Perplexed

 

[dottie]

idgi either, mikey

 

[MikeyC]

idgi either, mikey

Haha. He knows I think he's awesome. I just want some of that charisma.

 

[Section_31]

Dear Coyote,

How do i become as awsome as Hubert?. When he retires id like to take his position .

Sincerely,

TLG

 

[coyote]

But can't you just walk off a cliff and keep going as long as you don't look down?

dear awkwardamanda,

this only works given the proper velocity, trajectory, and vector

distance traveled can be calculated with the following formula:

time of flight can be calculated like so:

of course, there are any number of variables that shorten both distance and time. these can include, but are not limited to: the presence of anvils, holding an umbrella, and the relative density of the surface to be impacted upon falling

 

[coyote]

Dear coyote,

Why are you so awesome?

Sincerely, Confused And Perplexed

dear Confused And Perplexed,

apparently, it has something to do with the marinade

 

[coyote]

idgi either, mikey

dear dottie,

sorry, i don't get it - what does "idgi" mean?

 

[coyote]

Haha. He knows I think he's awesome. I just want some of that charisma.

dear MikeyC,

if you're referring to Charisma Carpenter, i would have to agree

my assistant, Hubert, is particularly fond of her tattoo

 

[twiggle]

Dear coyote,

What are yours and Huberts' opinions on coleslaw?

Twiggle