Dear Coyote,
What was your experience when landing your first job or any job? (Meaning applying/interviewing/etc., perhaps thoughts/feelings?)
Do you also have any tips to curtail anxiety or perhaps help think through it? My brain seems to freeze every time I get too anxious around a person.
I'm trying to gather some insight beforehand.
Thanks,
AMST
P.S. But that pie looked delicious.:
:
dear AMST,
i half-heartedly began looking for first job when i was in high school, but failed to secure employment anywhere - i was very shy and i procrastinated terribly. apparently my AvPD had already firmly established itself by that time.
as graduation neared and i had no prospects for the future, i decided to join the United States Marine Corps. the whole enlistment/induction process was a terrifying experience. the great thing, though, was that the Marine Corps does a thorough job of training people psychologically (as well as physically) to be pretty tough - boot camp and the training beyond that is much more about building strength of character, adaptive thinking, and leadership skills than most people realize.
one of the things they teach you is how to remain poised and level headed under stressful, anxiety-provoking conditions. regardless of how you might feel inside - how frightened or unsure of yourself you are - it is entirely possible to instill confidence, loyalty, and respect in others by maintaining the proper bearing in your outward appearance. the old addage, "never let them see you sweat," comes to mind. it is entirely possible for one to learn and display adequate social skills outwardly while still feeling scared and anxious inwardly.
anyway, after six years of active duty, i was 24 years old. i had several jobs while attending college. since then i've worked in a number of positions. all total about 10 different jobs in the last 24 years (although i worked in one career for 12 years). all of my my jobs have been in management or in a position of some responsibility - somehow i kinda got set on this path, maybe from my military training, being in charge of other people and operations at an early age. so i've been through a number of interviews, and in my capacity as a manager and administrator, i've interviewed a fair number of applicants myself.
the first thing to remember is that employers aren't judging you, personally. when a position is advertised, any number of people might apply. the job of the hiring manager is to pick the best person for the job out of the list of people who applied. very often, the decision to pass someone over is not because that person was lacking any desirable traits, but simply because someone else looked like a better candidate. sometimes the employer gets it wrong.
the second thing to remember is that the interview is not necessarily about proving that you are qualified for the job - that's what the application or resume is for. if the person doing the hiring didn't already think you were qulified for the position based on your resume or application, they wouldn't have called you in for an interview. the interview is designed entirely to get a feel for your personality.
just try to relax, smile, stay focused on the present, try not to think too much. smile. just answer the questions honestly and earnestly. smile. be sincere, be professional. keep your answers short and to the point. smile. be enthusiastic. oh yeah, and smile.
the employer wants to know if you are someome who wants the job, someone who wants to WORK. he doesn't just want to hire someone who is qualified to fill the position. he can train anyone to do what the job requires, but he can't give you the proper attitude and motivation to come to work every day and want to do a good job. you have to bring that to the table yourself. a bunch of credentials on a piece of paper mean very little. enthusiasm, attitude, and "spark" will make the difference.
be sure to dress appropriately. if you don't already have some, buy an inexpensive pair of khakis and a buttoned shirt with a collar - iron them. get your hair trimmed so it looks cared for. shave - if a beard is appropriate, at least shave your neck and stuff so that you look neat and groomed. shower, use deodorant. wear the best shoes you can. in short, try to look as sharp and professional as you can. this isn't the time to express your individuality. this isn't a date; you're not trying to look cool and sexy - you're trying to get a job so you can pay your bills. this isn't the time to mess around.
i'm starting to lose track of my thoughts, since i started writing this response a couple of days ago (i don't usually take this long, but a bunch of stuff came up). so i hope that i was able to help. if you have some more specific questions, i'll be happy to respond.
good luck, you'll do great!
