Am I the only one here who doesn't find themselves unattractive?

[Lost Girl]

I've learned not to give a s*** anymore. I don't like that how I look used to dictate my mood or how my day would turn out. There were days when I thought I looked good, and days where I thought I looked plain or even terrible. But I've let that all go, I'm happy with how I look. I'm happy with average. That feels comfortable for me. I used to have a huge "you look disgusting/no you look good' battle in my head, and I am just over that whole process. I wasted so much energy on that when I was younger. Screw looks! Who cares!

*Edited because I didn't answer the question! (I do that sometimes!)

I don't think you're the only one on here who doesn't find themselves unattractive. I have noticed quite a few posters on here who rate themselves highly on looks. It's also very plain to see that there are many attractive posters on here whether they see themselves that way or not. There are many that may say they are unattractive, when we may think that they are obviously not, but we have to remember that perhaps they do feel that way, and try to be sensitive to the fact

 

[Sial Axetder]

THANK YOU. I was trying to debate how it would be received at the time, haha.

Thanks is not needed. I enjoy that type of - One of my many useless abilities is movie quotes. I admit I did have to imdb that one to get it all.

 

[PunkRotten]

What it comes down to is people watch alot of TV and pay attention to the media. They are told what is attractive or not. So this is how they develop the mentality of being ugly. There is no threshold of ugly/beautiful IMO, everyone is beautiful or everyone is ugly. If you think you are attractive that's all that counts. Don't let others tell you who is ugly and who is beautiful. Have a mind of your own and don't let little bull**** like this mean so much to you.

 

[EasySkanking]

Totally, punk.

But it's so ****ing hard you know? I think most of us have social anxiety, because we listen to this nonsense that we should be a "certain" way... and if we feel we aren't, we feel inadequate/not good enough... thus get nervopus/insecure about it.

Anyway, it's hard not to think about looks... specially when you are trying to get a girl and you feel like an ugly mother ****er.

I just want someone that finds me attractive and whom I find attractive as well... and that's hard when you feel ugly as **** :/

I guess it's part of social anxiety though... this nonsense.

It's interesting though, how many people here actually find themselves attractive (if they have SA)... or the poll is innacurate

 

[Wesker_101]

To be honest, I don't consider myself unattractive.

However, I have those bad days where I feel like one of the ugliest guys in the world--and that usually comes to me when I think about my lack of success with women in terms of my love life.

Plus it's always easy to claim your "ugliness" is a reason why you don't have enough guts to talk to a woman, even when the claim is unfounded.

 

[Kinetik]

It all depends on our personal tastes and those vary enormously since 'attractive' is so subjective. A while back I thought up a 60/20/20 guideline - roughly 60% of women will be indifferent to me, 20% will like me, and 20% will dislike me. It helps me keep things in perspective and remember that life is a numbers game. It's important to keep trying with different people and know that it's nothing personal if things don't work.

 

[lunarla]

Oops, I voted complete opposite of what I meant to. In a dim lighting I think I could be found somewhat attractive, but in lighting I'm definitely not, really. The thing that bothers me the most is that basically oneeeee feature can cause me to think I'm hideous from certain angles and in certain lightings.

 

[SingleAloneForever]

Hmmm, unfortunately for me, I'm definitely in the ugly category. I did have a picture someplace, I might find the link for it, but I've probably already deleted it from embarrassment.

I mean, I know I'm ugly. I know that other people know it as well. What else explains the fact that I've literally been able to frighten women completely, even before I'm able to get two syllables out of my mouth, while attempting to chat with them? What else explains why I've never even been able to go on a date. What else explains that when friends have tried on the odd occasion to play match maker, that the other person, who said they were actually rather desperate to find a boyfriend, weren't interested in somebody like me?

What else explains that today, some girls that I work with, who I have actually opened up a little bit to, only used certain compliments in order to try and convince me that I would be able to find a girlfriend, but mentioned nothing of looks. The compliments were "generous" and "kind." That was all. They obviously couldn't find anything to say about my looks, and that actually tells me a lot of what people do think about my appearence.

Plus, more than one person has told me that I'm ugly. Parents and friends who tell me that I'm not, do not count, as that's what family and friends do, or at least that's my experience. They will lie to you, in order to try to make you not feel not like a worthless bag of crap.

 

[DarkPhoenix]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ::

 

[fitftw]

6 months at the gym makes me feel attractive, at least in body.

 

[Scared2live]

I find myself Ugly 95% of the time :\

 

[EasySkanking]

True that phoenix... if only feeling like a lion was easy

It ain't ::

 

[fitftw]

I am lion, hear me RAWR!

 

[Tiercel]

I am falcon, see me SOAR!

Though falcons don't soar as much as other raptors generally do....

 

[Feathers]

Hmmm, unfortunately for me, I'm definitely in the ugly category. I did have a picture someplace, I might find the link for it, but I've probably already deleted it from embarrassment.

I mean, I know I'm ugly. I know that other people know it as well. What else explains the fact that I've literally been able to frighten women completely, even before I'm able to get two syllables out of my mouth, while attempting to chat with them? What else explains why I've never even been able to go on a date. What else explains that when friends have tried on the odd occasion to play match maker, that the other person, who said they were actually rather desperate to find a boyfriend, weren't interested in somebody like me?

What else explains that today, some girls that I work with, who I have actually opened up a little bit to, only used certain compliments in order to try and convince me that I would be able to find a girlfriend, but mentioned nothing of looks. The compliments were "generous" and "kind." That was all. They obviously couldn't find anything to say about my looks, and that actually tells me a lot of what people do think about my appearence.

I would never tell a cute or hot guy he's hot, lol!! It might only 'get to his head'! And being kind is MUCH more necessary for a husband than other things!!
People may use 'ugly' as synonym to 'want nothing to do with you' or 'get out of here' or just they were in a bad mood and needed somebody to blame!

The most hilarious use of 'ugly': I bumped into a wall and Mom said, 'ugly wall' (duh??) as a kiddie of 3 or 5 or so, even then it was strange!! The wall was not to blame, it was quite an okay-looking wall!!
Often what other people say may be just their projections!!

People have the oddest tastes too. I know an immensely beautiful and talented girl who was totally in love with a guy that everyone was like 'duh' what is she doing with him?? But they were very happy together last time I heard..

Also, people change. And some guys who looked 'hot' in primary school or high school, may look like nothing much later on, and vice versa.. So, just things to consider..

People on dates do sense 'desperate' or 'trying too hard' or 'low self-esteem' or such.. It may have nothing to do with physical beauty and such.. You may also just need to be 'restyled' and need some other ways to make conversation etc-?!
For example, you may need to learn to soar & rawr like some guys here-??

 

[Freeflex]

I find myself repulsive, because I know I am. I know I am fat, and quite sloppy looking, because I rarely take the best care of myself. I don't say that to attract compliments (like some people do), but because I am not deluded.

However, I do know that if I were to put in a good effort in myself, lost loads of weight and wore good clothes/make-up, I'd be quite attractive - not a FHM model by anymeans, but I'd be alright. My skin, teeth, are quite good as it is.

 

[EasySkanking]

^ True that

 

[Damaged]

Erm i obv have my bad days of thinking im really ugly and fat and want to saw my disgusting hips off but normally i don't think im unattractive, i do try to be positive about myself and im very happy with how i look.
I did end up losing 2 and half stone this year, so thats helped my confidence a hell of a lot and probably helped me with going out the house more.

 

[userremoved]

My face is fine, I just want a better looking body. I want six pack abs, pecs, the whole shebang. Then I can do like the other guys in my neighborhood and walk around shirtless for absolutely no reason lol.

 

[Shadowplay]

I know that other people find me attractive because I get complimented on my appearance almost daily. However, that doesn't stop me from feeling very self-conscious and insecure about my appearance. I look in the mirror and hate what I see, but I'm reasonable enough to recognise that what I see isn't what others see so I don't go around whining about how ugly I am unless I'm on a really big downer.

Also, I hate how some people seem to think that if you're good looking, then your life must be great. When I was at therapy yesterday, the woman put great emphasis on telling me how pretty I was and how I shouldn't worry about what other people think of me. I know that I am physically attractive to other people, it isn't my looks I'm bothered about. I am usually well-received until I start talking. That's the problem.

So, though I don't find myself unattractive physically, in terms of my personality and overall character, I am definitely unattractive.