How old were you when you lost your virginity?

MoonBoom

MoonBoom

Well-known member
I only wish there were like buttons in this forum. Coyote 99% of the time gets a like from me.
As far as virginity, that concept is pretty irrelevant. If you have chances though, take them. Sex and love are different entities. Don't delude yourself by thinking you should wait for sex with the right person. Love with sex may come, but they are two different things on their own. I liken it to; the top of that mountain looks fun and inviting to climb, but because I don't like the scenery I won't climb it. More experiences in life leaves you with just that. Don't wait for the "right thing", because life doesn't wait for you and can only thrive on you doing more things.
 
kihira

kihira

1
^ If men have sex with lots of women they are considered heroes; if women have sex with lots of men they are sluts, is that fair?
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
phocas said:
^ If men have sex with lots of women they are considered heroes; if women have sex with lots of men they are sluts, is that fair?
Click to expand...

Uhm, I kinda disagree.
First, only a tiny number of people consider men who have slept with lots of women to be heroes. I don't think I ever met a person who'd think that. I guess those people would be mostly testosterone-pumped teenagers, but that is because they are immature (which is not surprising since they are teenagers). Also, we live in diverse societies. People have all kinds of opinions that vary in extreme ways. It's your free choice with what people you consider to be your friends. If you'd be a woman who has sex with lots of men, and you'd surround yourself with people who consider you slutty because of that, then, in my opinion, you shouldn't complain, since you wanted it this way.
 
kihira

kihira

1
Flanscho said:
Uhm, I kinda disagree.
First, only a tiny number of people consider men who have slept with lots of women to be heroes. I don't think I ever met a person who'd think that. I guess those people would be mostly testosterone-pumped teenagers, but that is because they are immature (which is not surprising since they are teenagers). Also, we live in diverse societies. People have all kinds of opinions that vary in extreme ways. It's your free choice with what people you consider to be your friends. If you'd be a woman who has sex with lots of men, and you'd surround yourself with people who consider you slutty because of that, then, in my opinion, you shouldn't complain, since you wanted it this way.
Click to expand...

My points are that there is no derogatory term for males who sleep around a lot that has the equivalent negative connotation as the word 'slut' and that no one deserves to be judged so negatively for the amount of sex they have anyway. Women are treated differently for this and it has nothing to do with who they surround themselves with
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
phocas said:
My points are that there is no derogatory term for males who sleep around a lot that has the equivalent negative connotation as the word 'slut' and that no one deserves to be judged so negatively for the amount of sex they have anyway. Women are treated differently for this and it has nothing to do with who they surround themselves with
Click to expand...

Well, in the german language, there is such a term. I guess you could roughly translate it with "whoremonger".

And you are right, some people treat women differently for that. Same as men are treated differently in other matters. For example, boys that have the same grades in school as girls, are more likely than girls to get forced to redo a year instead of progressing. Or, as another example, a woman who emits power is called a strong woman, while a man showing sensitivity or emotions is called a faggot or pussy.

The genders are treated differently in many ways. I'm myself striving to treat people equally. If I date a woman, I won't pay her dinner. Unless I know she is super poor (then why did she agree to meet in that restaurant?) and I got money. But then in that situation I'd pay the dinner for any good friend, no matter the gender. And if a male friend of mine cries, I won't laugh at him either, but try to help and find out what's wrong.
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
why do these people that complain of the double standard thing (stud/slut) seem to think that men who sleep with a lot of women are seen as heroes? I dont think ive ever seen a promiscuous man get a pat on the back for his actions, and there is a term equivelant to slut which is manwhore. Men who slut around are seen as vulgar as much as women who do it.
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
More than a few times, I have been with a group of guys and they'll exchange stories about their sexual exploits. It's something that is viewed as a status symbol. It may just be a group of people, their language in general tends to be degrading and sexist in nature and will drive me crazy. I think it's a stronger double standard in specific groups of people/types of people. It's really dervived from our cultures assigned gender roles, men are supposed to be the "Strong, experienced ones" who take charge and know what they are doing whereas women are supposed to be innocent and pure, and wait for her night in shining armor. Also the idea that men have to "get" women to have sex with them, and that in doing so they have won a prize or something. It's "he can get girls to have sex with him" as opposed to women who it's viewed have something guys want and "give it up" to them. With a guy it's as if they are accomplishing something, "Winning" or something, and with girls it's as if they lack self-control of their lustful urges or have no standards.

I really think that's just one crowd of the world though, I don't think it's a universally accepted view in our culture.
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
vj288 said:
More than a few times, I have been with a group of guys and they'll exchange stories about their sexual exploits. It's something that is viewed as a status symbol. It may just be a group of people, their language in general tends to be degrading and sexist in nature and will drive me crazy.
Click to expand...

Well, those are either then teenagers who ain't used to their testosterone yet, or they are idiots. But that is a tiny minority of men. If you are a guy, and hear something like that for the 1000th time, then you just roll your eyes, think "then why are you talking to me, if we are all that horrible", and search other people to talk to.
I don't claim either that all women strive only to find a rich guy, get pregnant, divorce, and then watch TV for the rest of their life.

vj288 said:
I think it's a stronger double standard in specific groups of people/types of people. It's really dervived from our cultures assigned gender roles, men are supposed to be the "Strong, experienced ones" who take charge and know what they are doing whereas women are supposed to be innocent and pure, and wait for her night in shining armor.
Yep. And it's that way, because most people know it only that way, or like it that way. Just check out a regular dating site on the web. 90% of the women there write "and he must be taller than me". Not that I'm that short myself, but it just shows that this person is again a great fan of the traditional gender roles. Man as the big strong one, the protector and supplier, the rock without emotions. The woman as the cute little shnookumpookie that cares for kids. If they are happy that way: why not. But I as long as most people think that way, genders will never be equal.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
phocas said:
^ If men have sex with lots of women they are considered heroes; if women have sex with lots of men they are sluts, is that fair?
Click to expand...

not by me,anyway what I MOSTLY see that it is females who consider men who sleep around a lot like heroes and men women who sleep around like sluts,but most men like them lol:giggle:
 
Scrobes

Scrobes

Well-known member
vj288 said:
More than a few times, I have been with a group of guys and they'll exchange stories about their sexual exploits. It's something that is viewed as a status symbol. It may just be a group of people, their language in general tends to be degrading and sexist in nature and will drive me crazy. I think it's a stronger double standard in specific groups of people/types of people. It's really dervived from our cultures assigned gender roles, men are supposed to be the "Strong, experienced ones" who take charge and know what they are doing whereas women are supposed to be innocent and pure, and wait for her night in shining armor. Also the idea that men have to "get" women to have sex with them, and that in doing so they have won a prize or something. It's "he can get girls to have sex with him" as opposed to women who it's viewed have something guys want and "give it up" to them. With a guy it's as if they are accomplishing something, "Winning" or something, and with girls it's as if they lack self-control of their lustful urges or have no standards.

I really think that's just one crowd of the world though, I don't think it's a universally accepted view in our culture.
Click to expand...

Awesome post. I detested that whole status symbol thing so much. And then I also hated having to 'play along' a bit to ensure I'm still "recognised". No I didn't lie, but my replies were ambiguous. I could never be comfortable with participating in it, so there was some discomfort in having to dirty myself with the sludge they might talk about. So very glad I don't have to put up with that total bollocks anymore.

And surprise or not, I haven't lost it, and I'm 35 in five days. But that's just it, it's never about losing it. It's about finding the right person to share it with. Life's successes, tribulations, etc, are not tickboxes on some spreadsheet of life. You do something because it has intrinsic value and meaning to you, otherwise, don't do it.
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
18 or 19, with my first girlfriend. She was already a bit more experienced than me, asked me if I'd really like to do that now or rather want to wait, both would be fine with her. So we had sex, and it was nice.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top