Would you forgive bullies years later
- Thread starter sevenroses
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MollyBeGood
Well-known member
lol
how does someone who ways over 600lbs have the balls to teach people about self-discipline!
great clip I want to see this movie now
takethislife
Well-known member
They just don't let you. Everytime i thought of forgiving they did something to prove i shouldn't...So my answer is NO, never.
simpsons2007
Well-known member
NO NO NO. I will never forgive them they made my life a living hell for 10yrs. I hope they all rot in HELL for what they put me through.
I.. used to bully a kid.. no two kids in my class.
One was jesse, everybody laughed @ him because his name was the same as jesse from pokemon who was a girl. And he was a boy. A lot of kids bullied him (mentally) and i occasionally (mentally)as well. After that never saw him again.
Other was bhupinder and ... i bullied him. For no. ****ing. reason. I even beat him up.
Saw him couple of years ago, think he forgot he seemed fine.
Would i forgive myself if i was in their shoes?
No. Never. Forget yes.
I wish. so many things. That i didn't do all those things. But what can i do about it now.
I hate myself for it. I would go back, i would trade but i cant
One was jesse, everybody laughed @ him because his name was the same as jesse from pokemon who was a girl. And he was a boy. A lot of kids bullied him (mentally) and i occasionally (mentally)as well. After that never saw him again.
Other was bhupinder and ... i bullied him. For no. ****ing. reason. I even beat him up.
Saw him couple of years ago, think he forgot he seemed fine.
Would i forgive myself if i was in their shoes?
No. Never. Forget yes.
I wish. so many things. That i didn't do all those things. But what can i do about it now.
I hate myself for it. I would go back, i would trade but i cant
upndwn
Well-known member
It depends.
How severe was their bullying? Did it cause a trauma you are still struggling to overcome?
Would that person feel bad about it now and apologize? Has the bully changed and become a better person?
If the bully apologized for his former behavior and I could truly see that he repented and had grown to become a better person I probably would forgive him, unless the bullying was so severe and cause so much pain and trauma that you were still struggling with it.
How severe was their bullying? Did it cause a trauma you are still struggling to overcome?
Would that person feel bad about it now and apologize? Has the bully changed and become a better person?
If the bully apologized for his former behavior and I could truly see that he repented and had grown to become a better person I probably would forgive him, unless the bullying was so severe and cause so much pain and trauma that you were still struggling with it.
Niteowl
Well-known member
Sure, I would forgive them.
I would not, however, be so quick to forgive those that bully the people I care about.
It angers me to hear about my brother being bullied, even when he can't see it as bullying for his self. These kids are between 13 and 16. I have no authority to stand up for him; all I can offer is emotional support. Yet I can't help but hope that one day, they find a reason to wipe those smug, thieving smirks clean off of their lying, boasting faces. My brother won't physically stand up for himself and I wouldn't suggest that he does, but he is definitely capable. He makes those kids look like pygmy mice.
Don't think, just because I would forgive them, that the bullies stopped at teasing and name-calling. I don't like to talk about what they did for kicks, but I don't see the benefit in holding a grudge against the people that bullied me. Three of them were my friends, all suffering from attention deficit hyperactive disorder, and got their attention by pushing me around, pulling my hair and taking my possessions. And the others? They might grow up into nice people.
Then again, as I presume, they might not.
I would not, however, be so quick to forgive those that bully the people I care about.
It angers me to hear about my brother being bullied, even when he can't see it as bullying for his self. These kids are between 13 and 16. I have no authority to stand up for him; all I can offer is emotional support. Yet I can't help but hope that one day, they find a reason to wipe those smug, thieving smirks clean off of their lying, boasting faces. My brother won't physically stand up for himself and I wouldn't suggest that he does, but he is definitely capable. He makes those kids look like pygmy mice.
Don't think, just because I would forgive them, that the bullies stopped at teasing and name-calling. I don't like to talk about what they did for kicks, but I don't see the benefit in holding a grudge against the people that bullied me. Three of them were my friends, all suffering from attention deficit hyperactive disorder, and got their attention by pushing me around, pulling my hair and taking my possessions. And the others? They might grow up into nice people.
Then again, as I presume, they might not.
Kamen
Well-known member
Nearly 10 years after high school I still have like two or three dreams per year in which I smash with chairs some of the ****heads I was unable to stand, kick them enraged or simply stab them with a knife. I once had a dream in which a neighbor who was walking upstairs while I was looking at him through the eyehole, put his chewing gum on my door! I opened the door and said: "What the h*** are you doing? Who the f*** you think you are?". Then another, big guy appeared and they came into my apartment to "show me who they are". I went totally insane, totally out of control, got a big knife and stabbed him like 10 or more times... and it feels damn good.
As far as I remember, these guys never bullied me physically, except for a guy who intentionally hurt my finger so I had to visit a doctor and stand the pain for months... I regret for not breaking his finger in front of the entire class or smashing his head with a chair so that they reconsider their behavior.
Self-protection is your right. Use it!
As far as I remember, these guys never bullied me physically, except for a guy who intentionally hurt my finger so I had to visit a doctor and stand the pain for months... I regret for not breaking his finger in front of the entire class or smashing his head with a chair so that they reconsider their behavior.
Self-protection is your right. Use it!
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Purplepixies
Active member
Well if that's you in your pic, I can't see why anyone would bully you! I would kill to look like you. My life would be at least about a 30% better.
But speaking bad of... maybe. All the pretty girls get badly spoken of. I wish I was badly spoken of and not bullied and made fun of.
Purplepixies
Active member
And as for me. Never. I am marked for life and I will never feel good enough because of all of them.
Would I forgive a bully from many years ago if they came up to me nowadays and were trying to be friendly? A good question and I suppose I would forgive them if they apologised for what they did to me in the past. Yet if they came up to me and were simply trying to be chumy without having initially apologised, i would probably back away.
Such a thing happened to me a few years ago. In my schooldays, I was sometimes picked upon by this one guy and no doubt I saw him walking along the road one day and he saw me as well. He came over and just started acting friendly to me, like the past never happened.Naturally I thanked him for his time, said I was busy and went on my way.
Alex
Author of Beat The Bully: A Guide To Dealing With Adult Bullying
Such a thing happened to me a few years ago. In my schooldays, I was sometimes picked upon by this one guy and no doubt I saw him walking along the road one day and he saw me as well. He came over and just started acting friendly to me, like the past never happened.Naturally I thanked him for his time, said I was busy and went on my way.
Alex
Author of Beat The Bully: A Guide To Dealing With Adult Bullying
Agent_Violet
Well-known member
I TRY to forgive...who has the room in their head and heart to carry all the trash that comes from not forgiving?
If I am unable to forgive them...then I just have to make peace with that inability.
If I am unable to forgive them...then I just have to make peace with that inability.
Dead_on_Arrival
Well-known member
It all depends on the person. Some I would and have, others I most certainly would never forgive even if they begged for it. Some things are beyond forgivness.
we_r_eternal
Well-known member
what a lot of people don't realize is everyone gets bullied growing up . everyone.. the "bullies" are just damaged people who have been "bullied" themselves. either by thier parent, upper classmen, siblings, etc. If you can't forgive people and move on, the only person your hurting is yourself. hatred and anger that festures over time and isn't let go of becomes like a cancer to your soul... will make you bitter and a miserable person..
Dead_on_Arrival
Well-known member
Does this include physical, sexual assault and rape.
Like I said, some things are unforgivable. I let things go by talking. I am only beginning to talk about things since I first started using SPW and every time I do let something go it gives me a huge emotional kick in the head that when the pain subsides makes me feel a tiny bit better. But these things never actualy go away, they still play on my mind and will do for the res of my life. So should I forgive the people that put me in this state of being. Yes I can forgive those who name called and the ones whom I had fights with but not the ones whom gave me scars on my body and mind.
Sorry if I sound flippant with you. Not intended.....
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Easily forgive them if they have matured, everybody has moments in their life where they do wrong, see it as wrong within time and genuinely change themselves forever.
I'm guilty all the same - I used to be a thief. I even stole from best friends. This stopped at roughly age 16 - that's when I started to develop and mature mentally, and gained a much better moral conscience. Now at age 22 you could trust me with anything - you could give me a million dollars to hold for you with no proof you gave it to me and you would get it back. Amazing huh? That's what I mean by genuine change...everybody deserves a chance to make themselves right. Some people will, some will remain pieces of trash forever.
I'm guilty all the same - I used to be a thief. I even stole from best friends. This stopped at roughly age 16 - that's when I started to develop and mature mentally, and gained a much better moral conscience. Now at age 22 you could trust me with anything - you could give me a million dollars to hold for you with no proof you gave it to me and you would get it back. Amazing huh? That's what I mean by genuine change...everybody deserves a chance to make themselves right. Some people will, some will remain pieces of trash forever.
someday17
Member
If someone who was once a bully has changed to someone better, and i mean a legit nice person, not a fake - o, than I would give them this chance too. One of my friends used to be a meanie just so she could try to fit in with the popular kids at school. Eventually she realised living of the edge of superficialness wasn't worth it and she came back to our group of friends. We forgave her because she realized she was wrong and never went back to those ways again since.
People can change, friends and bullies alike