Would you forgive bullies years later

[NamiraWilhelm]

I forgive them for me. But I wouldn't want anything to do with them.

One of them since had the audacity to ask me out. What a clueless individual.

 

[Sacrament]

I stopped being bitter about bullies years ago. Eventually, it's not really a matter of what they did to you anymore, but how you deal with it and let it affect your life.

 

[Argentum]

Maybe... it really depends. I think bullying can signify a deeply terrible person or leave a lifetime of damage depending on how severe and prolonged it is, and I wouldn't expect anyone (myself included) to forgive someone who beat them senseless behind the school several times just because time has passed. That leaves a lot of damage for the person affected to clean up and they don't get the years back. Some people just have black, shriveled hearts and only stop when it's too inconvenient for them to continue, and goodness is wasted on them.

At the same time, I don't expect children and teenagers to be particularly conscious of how they effect others or what's actually important in life, which isn't elevating yourself above everyone else or making yourself strong through trampling on others.

I don't think forgiveness is at all necessary for release, by the way. Only recognizing that you were wronged, not giving it room to define your life, and moving your thoughts elsewhere. Has nothing to do with your like/dislike of the person or your willingness to see them outside of their place in your past as an aggressor.

 

[Luckylife]

I don't think it is worth being angry for years, but if the moment appears... A few years ago on Facebook I friended an old school pal who is now an occasional theatre player and had always got on well with him. He is friends with another school pal who I did not get on with at all well at school. Dan would taunt me endless about my accent, physical build, mannerism, lack of friends etc - you get the picture and being of slight stature there was little I could do. Fast forward 30 years and the actor friend had a show coming up so I wished him well by saying "Break a leg" on his Facebook page.
To my utter amazement Dan added a comment along the lines of "Oh yes Pat, good luck, what ho, kiss kiss Hope you do well, love you" and so on, exactly how he used to mock me all those years ago. What did I do? Well I deleted my comment so it appeared as tho Dan had promptly wished Pat a very gay good luck. Pat then replied "Oh thanks Dan, kissey kissey to you too", etc and a very gay reply at that.
Browsing Dans FB page a day later and I saw a post about how he thought it was about time he lost weight and how he couldn't believe anyone could hold a grudge for 30 years. Not long after he pulled his FB page. I hadn't held any such dislike for him but found it absurdly amusing that he had relapsed into his school bullying with the first sight of my post, so I kept my cool and thought of the most vulgar way I could manipulate his riposte. Which I thought was fairly cruel - but worth it.

 

[anomicdeer]

I think I would.
Thinking about all the crazy things I've said and cause someone to leave me is probably just like abusing/bullying someone.

 

[Megaten]

I would like to think I'd be the bigger person, but Id need some sort of compensation for all the fun times I missed out on in my youth because my self esteem/confidence was systematically dissected by my male peers.

 

[Foxie913]

I don't forgive or forget. The ones who bullied me can take a long walk off a short bridge for all I care.

 

[PugofCrydee]

I wouldn't go out of my way to bully them back. But given the chance to be in a position of power over them? I'd definitely let karma come back to bite them...HARD.

Eg; if I was interviewing people for a job and the bully was amongst the applicants. I'd make them think they had a good chance then, say 'oh wait, you're that guy that treated me like sh!t all that time ago... guess who won't be getting the job?