Would you forgive bullies years later
- Thread starter sevenroses
- Start date
pjcarter85
Member
I'll be nice too. But befriending the bully is out of the question even if it happened a long time ago. Oh, yes I'm a bitter person. Eck! ::
There was a bully who beat me up several times. Later he said he felt sorry for me and wanted to be friends with me. I was uncomfortable, but I wasn't going to argue with him. I became comfortable around him when I realized he was really sorry and wanted to help me. But I can't imagine this happens very often. Most bullies and abusers left me alone after they got bored with me but didn't apologize.
Quiet Angel
Well-known member
I make an effort to forgive because that's the one and only way to completely move on from past hardships. I feel a tinge of hurt every now and then from the painful memories but I smile too because I've grown stronger, wiser, and more mature from these experiences. Bullies themselves are very misguided people. They don't understand what they're doing is wrong, that other people have feelings, and that other people don't deserve to be treated badly. Either they're going to grow up and feel very bad about what they've done or they won't and continue to be miserable for the rest of their lives & drive people away from them. Bullying doesn't work in the real world.
goldatom
Well-known member
I am never going to forgive my bullies. But I can't do any thing to them now. However, if they continue with their nasty behavior, they will face the consequences one day. Or their descendants will. But if they have become better people, they would have made the world a better place and live a better life. So it doesn't matter if I forgive them or not. They will reap what they sow any way.
goldatom
Well-known member
One manipulative bastard used to fool me by pretending to become friends, and then he would again harass me. I call such people psychopaths. And we all know what happens to them.
Cynic
Well-known member
They usually get promoted to high office.
panicsurvivor
Well-known member
O.K. I have never been bullied before. So I can't really weigh in to heavily on this topic. However, I have been wronged plenty of times in my life, and I have found that holding on to hate can be very toxic. I think that understanding and forgiveness go a lot further to making you a more balanced and happy person. I have seriously hurt people who have wronged me in the past as well. I won't lie I enjoyed it. But I don't look back on it now as being a good thing. I will admit I have read a lot of peoples story's about being bullied on here and I have wished I could travel to help put some bullies in their place. I have some....... issues with my hostility and probably always will, but I really think that forgiving those that have wronged you is good for the soul.
StarShine
Member
No offense to the forgiving people, but I was never a forgiving person to begin with. My bullies pretty much helped me with becoming scared of people. Because of the bad memories of them burning into my thoughts everyday I just wished they'd disappear. I remember I saw this one person from the new school I attended and he used to bully me in middle school. He seemed nice now, but i never forgave him, and I actually hate him more than anything. :l
Even if I do forgive, the funny thing is I never forget, which causes me to hate the person I just forgave all over again. So technically I never truly forgave them.
Even if I do forgive, the funny thing is I never forget, which causes me to hate the person I just forgave all over again. So technically I never truly forgave them.
I think I need a few more years lol
And if they were truly sorry for the way they treated me yes, if I did forgive them today it wouldn't be real, I don't see myself hanging out with them after though haha -_-
So, yes actually I think I could forgive them.. Not sure if I am sincere though :/
And if they were truly sorry for the way they treated me yes, if I did forgive them today it wouldn't be real, I don't see myself hanging out with them after though haha -_-
So, yes actually I think I could forgive them.. Not sure if I am sincere though :/
Shant
Well-known member
I'd probably tell them I forgive them, but that doesn't mean I'll forget, nor does that even mean I'll want anything to do with them.
Hello, avoidance. "Yeah, I forgive you, now please go away and never come back."
I'm a forgiving person naturally, the fact that I don't want future conflict kind of adds to that. I don't want conflicts coming up. But nowadays, I'm fine as long as they just don't bother me. Alternatively, if they did come back and bother me, I'd probably have a mental breakdown involving me telling them to bully me so I can be convinced I'm worthless or something, the feeling I'd deserve it. I don't really get it myself.
Hello, avoidance. "Yeah, I forgive you, now please go away and never come back."
I'm a forgiving person naturally, the fact that I don't want future conflict kind of adds to that. I don't want conflicts coming up. But nowadays, I'm fine as long as they just don't bother me. Alternatively, if they did come back and bother me, I'd probably have a mental breakdown involving me telling them to bully me so I can be convinced I'm worthless or something, the feeling I'd deserve it. I don't really get it myself.
missinconsistent
New member
It depends on the situation. But most cases no. I don't want to come off as a pushover. Being so easy could just allow them to ruin your life even more. You could "forgive" them, but always be cold. That's how I'd do it. No reason to be a jerk about it, just ignore them like they aren't even there.
sullyS25
Well-known member
Would you forgive bullies if you bumped into them years later and they were nice to you. I personally would. I would never forget what they have done but I`m willing to forgive. Getting even doesn`t solve problems in my book. That`s just my opinion though
I most definitely would and have. My brother was a huge "bully" to me when we were younger. I know that is typical but he would beat my ass, humiliate me in front of my friends and his, and was always critical of every little thing I would do.
I personally cannot hang on to resentments because they hurt me and eat away at me. Ive also realized that me being mad at someone that was not nice to me in the past does not affect that person whatsoever, they probably dont even know I am mad at them. I think that anger only hurts myself. I also feel that staying mad shows how much power those people have on you. Especially years or decades after the damage was done. Do they deserve that power? NO. When you forgive, it isnt saying what they did was alright but releasing you from something that makes your life worse. That is my opinion though.
dancingintherain
Well-known member
hell no. I believe they were the cause of my social anxiety. Because of them I was stripped to absolute no confidence, because of them it added more problems in my life as I had home problems too so I felt I didn't belong anywhere and because of them I had no friends.. The bullies I see today, they still had this smirk on their faces or laugh. I don't get it.. there was absolutely no reason why I deserved that.
KnuffleBunny
Well-known member
Some bullies I could forgive eventually, like my Elementary School enemy. Others I could not, like my ex friend who threatened me, because I know the sort of person she is deep down.
