would you become a mean person?

[greggy]

Hey beautiful peeps, ok been giving this a lot of thought and the way I figger it is this world has become battle of the meanest, if you are nice and polite you attract people who use nice people vent on, I was working in a office and even on my interview I was shown around the office and shown how to use the system and I asked a perfectly normal question and he laughed , since then he desided he didn't like me, even though I was always nice, he even once walked into the office and slapped me across the head, haha! Anyhow my point is do you think you could become mean as a protection from complete losers?

 

[Kiwong]

I have definitely hardened a lot as I have got older. Being angry an hard is not good for soul in the long run.

 

[Flanscho]

Nope. Being mean never helps. And I don't think that being nice only makes you get in contact with people trying to abuse you.

 

[kihira]

It's best to try to be assertive without letting negative emotions take over

 

[jaim38]

Not sure if fighting fire with fire works. If I encountered mean people, my body just shuts down in front of them. I don't react to them, I totally ignore them even though I'm hurting like h*ll inside. I try not to be mean or a doormat for them. Ignoring is my way of saying, "I want to get out of this conflict! Leave me alone!"

I am always interested in the expectations people have from others based on our own perceived behaviour.
There seems to be a heavy element from what I have read here - and a large divisive debate of what standards of behaviour are acceptable and the expected response from these behaviours.

I'm curious as well. We're supposed to learn such things from our family/guardians.

 

[SonicMan]

All though it is tempting to give them what they deserve and be mean back, it's not a good method. I agree that ignoring them is a good method, as your not being mean but showing that you don't need this crap from them and want nothing to do with it.

 

[MollyBeGood]

It's best to try to be assertive without letting negative emotions take over

Well said.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

That guy is a real ****. Slapping someone is crossing the line!

I'm not a mean person but I know I have been mean at times. But, usually I'm very nice and polite.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Slapping a co-worker across the head is ridiculously unacceptable and it deserves a "who do you think you are" or "never, EVER do that again", but being mean as an answer to his behavior will just uselessly drain you and it's not worth it. ...In my opinion anyway.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

Hey beautiful peeps, ok been giving this a lot of thought and the way I figger it is this world has become battle of the meanest, if you are nice and polite you attract people who use nice people vent on, I was working in a office and even on my interview I was shown around the office and shown how to use the system and I asked a perfectly normal question and he laughed , since then he desided he didn't like me, even though I was always nice, he even once walked into the office and slapped me across the head, haha! Anyhow my point is do you think you could become mean as a protection from complete losers?

I lose either way how I treat people. If I'm nice, I get treated with disrespect and manipulated. If I try to be nasty and unfriendly with people, it creates things to be worse. I wonder why I even try and show my personality when others can't accept it either way. They can't accept I've changed and they can't put their mean verbal comments to rest. I know all people are different and most kids my age are at an immaturity stage with picking on people and being to involved in their egos, but it's like ALMOST everyone is treating me rudely. And when they aren't, they start acting nice for a few minutes with me and then change back to how they were originally. I guess people treat me however they feel like treating me and it's becoming an insufferable ride I'm in.

 

[Silatuyok]

As a random wise old man once said to me: "Kill them with kindness."

 

[MikeyC]

It's best to try to be assertive without letting negative emotions take over

This is good. Assertiveness is different to meanness, in a better way. Standing up for yourself doesn't mean you have to be mean, either, although people can misconstrue that.

 

[Capsaicin]

In the past I've had quite a few emotional vampires latch onto me, but I haven't had to be mean to make them go away. Just being more reserved with what I give out emotionally deters them because they're attracted to people who will "feed" them lots of attention, sympathy, and favors when they bring in the daily sob story. The world is more grey than a mean/nice divide.

 

[Regret93]

I've been thinking lately that I'm probably capable of being assertive, as opposed to being the pushover that I've always been. Whenever I am assertive, people take offense to it, as if I'm trying to be mean, and that could be my anger towards people projecting itself since I feel like people do whatever they can to discourage me. I feel like being mean to some people can get me somewhere, because so far, I'm not getting anywhere with this polite shit.

 

[laure15]

I don't show direct meanness towards people who piss me off, but I can be passive aggressive, consciously and unconsciously. I can verbally attack the person behind his/her back subtlely, and this includes being a "frenemy".

 

[Odo]

I've gotten into a few confrontations but I don't make a habit of it... usually it's when I've lost my temper.

 

[R3K]

Nice guys finish last and stay broke,
Bad guys finish first and push coke...

E-40

 

[jaim38]

I heard people call me stupid. They gossip behind my back and judge me, even though they know nothing about me. I've been called stupid, dumb, crazy, b*tch, f*cker, etc. It hurts everytime they do, but I always make an effort to stand back up after falling down.

Will I become a mean person to fight against these people? The answer is no, I will not.
I refuse to gossip, make judgements, spread malicious rumors about others, or do the things that these people did to me. I want to be the bigger person. I am not a fan of revenge.

There's a reason why I make an effort to pray to my creator everyday. I want to be reminded of the need for goodness in this world.

 

[theoutsidergirl]

I've had this problem all my life. Be nice and one day they tear you to shreds.
Problem is, I don't have the guts to be mean or to tell them to fxxxx off. So I swallowed it all. And now I feel all bitter inside. I feel like when I'm nice, I'm just forcing myself, because I wish I could just leave or be my real self(swear, shout, tell them to fxxxx off when I feel like it). I also don't trust anybody. I kinda hate them all, even though they never did anything to me(yet). It's just a bitter feeling...you just know, one day they'll treat you bad and it will hurt all the more, because you once trusted and liked them....it will just hurt so much more. So best is to keep at a distance, don't be overly friendly and do your work as good as you possibly can.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I've had this problem all my life. Be nice and one day they tear you to shreds.
Problem is, I don't have the guts to be mean or to tell them to fxxxx off. So I swallowed it all. And now I feel all bitter inside. I feel like when I'm nice, I'm just forcing myself, because I wish I could just leave or be my real self(swear, shout, tell them to fxxxx off when I feel like it). I also don't trust anybody. I kinda hate them all, even though they never did anything to me(yet). It's just a bitter feeling...you just know, one day they'll treat you bad and it will hurt all the more, because you once trusted and liked them....it will just hurt so much more. So best is to keep at a distance, don't be overly friendly and do your work as good as you possibly can.

I do feel like this too. I've tried to be nice my whole life and ended up feeling more unhappy than I had before. It's difficult to be friendly when you're surrounded by a bunch of insecure bullies who do nothing but treat you like you're a punching bag. I realized myself that maybe I am overall too nice of a person. I be nice all the time but I am very much too nice that it's starting to become creepy. I'm also growing resentment from people. And I mean A LOT of people I loathe on. I think sometimes it may be time to throw my hands in the air and give up since it doesn't matter how back breaking, pleasing, friendly, and authentic I put myself to be for people. All of this and no results show. I don't get it. I don't understand people and never will. Pain just inflicts more on the inside as much as it does on the outside. When does it heal though????