Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
Iluv said:
Ranting mood alert:
I don't understand my house.
Brother can do whatever he wants. Party all night in the house, drink my parents alcohol, get suspended/expelled/drop-out/get fired from places and verbally abuse people. No punishment whatsoever.
But boy, I had one thing, well they had one thing against me and I got in trouble for practically a month. I know it's over now but it broils my blood when I think about the inequality in my house.
I think that this stuff has messed me up anxiety wise.
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That's so unfair. ::(:
 
Iluv

Iluv

Well-known member
MikeyC said:
Sounds like your parents have higher expectations of you than your brother. Doesn't make life easy for you.
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I guess if you look at it in that sense. In my eyes though they just find it easier to yell/punish me because of my SA and not being able to stand up for myself. As for my brother, well he doesn't take anybodies punishment and will snap, so therefore he gets a free pass time and time again.
He's done worse than me but somehow my parents make me feel like I've done worse. They praise him a lot.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
Iluv said:
I guess if you look at it in that sense. In my eyes though they just find it easier to yell/punish me because of my SA and not being able to stand up for myself. As for my brother, well he doesn't take anybodies punishment and will snap, so therefore he gets a free pass time and time again.
He's done worse than me but somehow my parents make me feel like I've done worse. They praise him a lot.
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Wow, I'm really sorry that's happening. ::(: It must make you feel like you're walking on eggshells sometimes.
 
Roman Legion

Roman Legion

Well-known member
Been punching and chopping at my throat for hours in an attempt to destroy my vocal chords or at least severely damage them.. Still irritated that nobody believes my issues, to them forcing me, threatening me or shouting at me is the way to fix me.. It only makes things worse.. It would be nice for this to change, but that is the story of the 22 years I have been alive.. ::(:
 
Iluv

Iluv

Well-known member
^
Why do you want to damage your vocal cords? ::(:
If you feel the need you are going to hurt yourself in any way shape or form please seek help.
 
Roman Legion

Roman Legion

Well-known member
Nobody in my family believes I have any issues, they think it's all BS.. I have been daeling with this crap for my entire life.. When your own family won't believe you, who will? If I thought I could just let people know outside the house that I am fully mute without it being fraud, I'd do that so maybe when I tell a professor or potential employer that I have selective mutism, they don't come to the conclusion that they always do that they can somehow fix me by throwing me into bad situations.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
Roman Legion said:
Nobody in my family believes I have any issues, they think it's all BS.. I have been daeling with this crap for my entire life.. When your own family won't believe you, who will? If I thought I could just let people know outside the house that I am fully mute without it being fraud, I'd do that so maybe when I tell a professor or potential employer that I have selective mutism, they don't come to the conclusion that they always do that they can somehow fix me by throwing me into bad situations.
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I still think seeking help, as Iluv said, is a good idea. You're self-harming, and that's not good. Punching yourself in the throat constantly can damage your windpipe and esophagus, making it hard to eat, drink, and even breathe.
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
I think...

I am losing faith in humanity, and because of that, I am losing faith in myself. I am so alone.
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I feel that you're a nice person...
You can have no faith in humanity and still be nice. I don't and I am, I think...

It's really not a pleasant feeling, though. Sorry you're going through that.
Not alone in that regard, at least.





I can see my breath.
 
V

Vampayah88

Well-known member
Roman Legion said:
Been punching and chopping at my throat for hours in an attempt to destroy my vocal chords or at least severely damage them.. Still irritated that nobody believes my issues, to them forcing me, threatening me or shouting at me is the way to fix me.. It only makes things worse.. It would be nice for this to change, but that is the story of the 22 years I have been alive.. ::(:
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It makes my skin crawl just reading what you're saying here. Please, please stop harming yourself::(:u don't want to end up with much worse complications.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
WeirdyMcGee said:
I feel that you're a nice person...
You can have no faith in humanity and still be nice. I don't and I am, I think...

It's really not a pleasant feeling, though. Sorry you're going through that.
Not alone in that regard, at least.

I can see my breath.
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Thanks weirdy. I dont really know what to do about it - but I appreciate the kind words, and acknowledgement - and yes you are definetely a nice person....

The more I think about it - the more I feel I dont really want to live in my country anymore. I am constantly disillusioned....with... so much. Too much to talk about in a thread. Human nature is so horrfyingly ugly - I am just fed up with it all. Sure at least I am not living in Iran or something right.

Its peoples attitudes that is bringing me down mostly. I need to get out. There must be somewhere in the world where I can feel a sense of belonging.
 
hidwell

hidwell

Well-known member
Wouldn't it be nice if I were fulfilled and lived with a purpose, had dreams and aspirations. Instead of frustration and apathy.
 
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