Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

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Beatrice

Guest
Wish I could just time-travel to a time when I'll have friends and a life again.... I've been without them for over a year now, I really can't stand it any more. As it is my whole summer will be wasted. I'll have made money but I won't have done things most people do, like go to the beach with friends, have cookouts, see movies, go shopping.....

I feel utterly miserable and I don't want to get up tomorrow :(

Also, I would like to turn my emotions off completely so I don't have to feel anything at all. I'm sick of feelings determining my life. F*** feelings. I want to go on autopilot, no thinking, just doing. Maybe I will.

As I've said before, why do I even matter? No one cares about my whining, I'm sick of doing it, and I"m sick of failing myself. I feel pathetic.
 
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Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
Beatrice said:
Wish I could just time-travel to a time when I'll have friends and a life again.... I've been without them for over a year now, I really can't stand it any more. As it is my whole summer will be wasted. I'll have made money but I won't have done things most people do, like go to the beach with friends, have cookouts, see movies, go shopping.....

I feel utterly miserable and I don't want to get up tomorrow :(
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You CAN time-travel! You just have to do it the old hard boring way and live each day till you arrive at this time. With you starting the University soon, it may be sooner than you think. This summer you may be missing out but come next summer, you could be going hog wild and doing what most ppl are doing =)
 
Deus_Ex_Lemur

Deus_Ex_Lemur

Well-known member
Newtype said:
Yeah, I can't even remember the last time I had a good dream. It's just nightmares.
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You ever dream journal it up? When I had these nightmares it helped. Writing about them soon after and kinda got it in control and had better dreams. MUCH better dreams.
 
Man on the Moon

Man on the Moon

Active member
I express myself best when I write. I don't know what it is about me, but when I am entangled in a conversation, my mind feels very distracted. I can focus fine when I am speaking one on one, but it's only when there are more than two people that my mind begins to race. Perhaps I am too self-aware. Perhaps I need to breathe and relax. After all, what gives other people the reason to judge me? I am who I am.
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
It doesn't matter what I do- I'll still hate myself... and if I can't even like myself, who the hell else would bother to like me?
agh. -____-
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I was digging out stuff from under my bed and just came across an old food/symptom diary I had done last fall for my (then new) naturopath. I still wonder how I even went to school with symptoms as messed up as that. :confused: I did miss a week, but still. I'm surprised I didn't miss more, now looking back at all those symptoms. I'm just happy knowing how much healthier I am, and in only 9 months.
 
MaliceInWickedland

MaliceInWickedland

Well-known member
I was just listening to some friends talking about these 6 year old kids having sex, 7 year olds with cellphones, and 8 year olds changing their relationship status on facebook. It's things like this that make me glad I'm not having children, especially if this is what's in store for their future. Honestly, could this world be anymore f***** up than it already is?

...I guess not...
 
Newtype

Newtype

Well-known member
MaliceInWickedland said:
I was just listening to some friends talking about these 6 year old kids having sex, 7 year olds with cellphones, and 8 year olds changing their relationship status on facebook. It's things like this that make me glad I'm not having children, especially if this is what's in store for their future. Honestly, could this world be anymore f***** up than it already is?

...I guess not...
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When I was six, I was playing with Transformers. I didn't even know what sex was...

If you have children, you don't have to raise them the same way the parents of these kids did.
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
I too dont like this world,it will certainly be hard to raise someone in a world where criminals are looked up to and people would rather defend them than their victims,where doing bad things is beautiful,thats is if I even get the chance to.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
pingu07 said:
Why does embarrassing thing always happen to me? :(
im so embarrased and it happens naturally too. . . . wants to hide!!
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^ Embarrassing things happen to me a lot too. :( Being embarrassed is one of the worst things ever to happen. Makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
MaliceInWickedland said:
I was just listening to some friends talking about these 6 year old kids having sex, 7 year olds with cellphones, and 8 year olds changing their relationship status on facebook. It's things like this that make me glad I'm not having children, especially if this is what's in store for their future. Honestly, could this world be anymore f***** up than it already is?

...I guess not...
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^ 6 year olds?! :eek: When I was 6, I was playing with legos, video games, and other kids in my neighborhood. I didn't even know what sex was!

8 year olds in relationships? I've never did understand this. I remember when I was 8, I first started to hear the words "going out" and "breaking up" and I still had no idea what they meant. It took me a year to figure it out. :rolleyes: Yeah, I'm a little slow. Anyway, point is I don't think kids that age should even be experiencing the whole "relationship" and "dating" thing. At that age, I didn't even care, I was still into video games and toys, not worried about "dating" anyone.

I find it quite sad seeing what kids are exposed to today. Facebook, no privacy, the whole "you need to look like this" message in magazines/movies/etc. is even worse now, I think. I see little kids even wearing makeup. It's ridiculous. I'm just getting into makeup (I've been embracing more of my girly side. ::p:), and I'm 18! I think I'll leave it at that, before I get too carried away. ::eek:: Rant over.
 
B

Beatrice

Guest
Tino said:
You're being too negative about yourself. The way i see you is that you're good looking, intelligent, and you've got a good sense of humour(you laugh at my **** jokes). Plus you are only 20, basically a kid, you will have friends and all that again and after this period you will appreciate them all the more. One thing all this bull**** can give you is a bit of wisdom, most people don't know what it is like to be totally alone, and IMO the biggest thing to learn from it is to not take people for granted.

You seem to get frustrated alot, but i don't think there is any quick fix for this. It may be months, maybe even a year before things are the way you want them. As long as you recognise your faults and make a little bit of progress each week then you have something to be positive about. You've got to learn not to stress too much, or think too much come to think of it. The next time you start pondering the state of your life try to think about dinosaurs and how great they were, or something like that. I like dinosaurs.

As for your whining, you have a big family that all seem to like you, you get on with your sisters etc, which is more than many have. Me and my brother barely say a word to eachother. Infact from what i've seen your sisters are your friends.

Look at me being all serious.:cool:
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Thanks Tino :)

By the way, the dinosaur tip was was fantastic. I think it's the answer to all my problems! :p
 
B

Beatrice

Guest
Watched Nat Geo Wild last night (lately the only channel I've been watching).... the program was "Cameramen Who Dare", about filmers who go to dangerous areas and shoot video of it.

Well, part of the program was a man who spent months with a clan of hyenas, getting very close to them and was even able to pet the cubs :eek: Then he followed and filmed them while on a kill, which is apparently a suicide mission (I didn't know hyenas were so aggressive). But he made it back alive with the footage.

Anyway, I found it very interesting and I had a dream about living with wolves, and something about Julie of the Wolves, which I got confused with Island of the Blue Dolphins...... I've never read the former. hehe but it was interesting.
 
CrzyDrmr

CrzyDrmr

Well-known member
twiggle said:
I wish I was one of those talented musicians who could just pick up an instrument and make a song, and have a good singing voice and lyrical skills to go with it.

I'd love to be able to express myself through music... subtle, yet so revealing, waiting for somebody to realise the hidden message... sigh...
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I strongly urge you to go for that. I've been playing drums since I was 12 or 13 and it's really the only redeeming quality I have. People can always overlook whatever they think is "weird" or "uncool" about me when they see I can play. Not that it really matters coming from people like that. Always wanted to learn guitar myself and might someday...for the same reason you mentioned. Expression through music is a deeply moving and top of the world kind of feeling. So pick up a guitar and play!
 
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