"Now I don't mind living on bread and oranges, no, no" I really want to be that kind of girl. I should be that kind of girl. But any time food is presented to me I snatch it up without a second thought. It's only after there are no traces of the food left that I begin to feel guilt. And boy is that a feeling I could do without. I prefer deprivation to guilt and feeling sick cuz I literally could not fit more food in my stomach.
I know if I ate less I would feel much more confident. Like yesterday at the waterpark, I felt ridiculous with my big stomach hanging out. Ppl didn't notice me like they used to, when I was slim and dainty. And when I go to the gym or manage to make social plans for myself, I know it would all b easier if I wasn't trying to hide my gut.
I know anorexia and other eating disorders are horrible and no one should ever have to suffer through them but at least the victims have a by of follow-through. They see a problem and they alter their habits to fix it. In my opinion, that's more admirable than needing to make a change and then doing jack s*** about it, which is all I seem to b capable and of at this point.
