Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

Bring on the Cheese!!
another damn cover-write your own music fake-lady

Captain & Tennille MUSKRAT LOVE - YouTube

BlackPuma said: ↑

Whenever I looked at my life a mere few years ago, at least I could say I was improving slowly. Now, I'm just getting progressively worse.

Motivation has always been the key. No matter how badly things sucked, there was always something to look forward to at the end of the day. But now, there's just nothing.. Everything feels hollow and devoid of joy or relief.

What were escapes at first, now feel like distractions and a waste of time. And I don't think I can change it back regardless of how hard I try, I'm growing more dead on the inside with every passing week.

What are some of the things you have to change to make it all work for you again? I do remember you making strides and getting better. Is there some specific event that has caused this slide?

DreamyblueSkies said: ↑

Lately I've been wondering how come certain people will go to others whenever they're suffering or in pain.... but when someone goes to them they refuse to hear what they have to say.... it seems kind of unfair in my opinion. This happened to me recently: I helped out a friend online and was there for them when they were at they're worst. Than I went to them when I was upset... and they kept trying to avoid the topic at hand... I don't get people sometimes...

A theory I've had is that people sometimes don't know what to say or do when someone goes to them for comfort or advice. It's knocks them around and they feel they don't know how to properly react, so they dance around the subject or make light of it. Heavy conversations are not some people's forte, either, even if they're the type to talk to others about their heavy subjects.

It could very well be just a selfish trait that your friend has, too. He might feel he has no time to deal with it, because, while you have problems, he has problems. If he can't grant you the time to unload some of your own thoughts onto him, as he has to you, is he really a friend? It goes both ways. I would hope this is not the case, though, because you don't need to have a one-way friendship. Can you bring it up with him?

Unfortunately, I've had this so many times - even people from this very site, which is alarming. It's happening right now with someone I speak to. It's not fun but that's how it works sometimes.

MikeyC said: ↑

What are some of the things you have to change to make it all work for you again? I do remember you making strides and getting better. Is there some specific event that has caused this slide?

I honestly don't know, Mikey. It's been a long adaptive process to a situation that required me to be someone else. I wouldn't know where to start reversing such a process. I'm trying to re-develop the interests and joy again, but it doesn't seem to stick very well.

I wish so badly that the Social Anxiety Institute was closer to me, or that I lived in Arizona. I would be signed up for the program already if that was the case. It's supposed to be amazingly helpful. I can't seem to find any social anxiety treatment programs or special ists around here. What do I do now, then??? How do I get help???

I feel sick with despair. I don't want to live in fear any more. I don't. I can't escape. Help :sad:

*crawls into dark, remote cave and remains there forever*

BlackPuma said: ↑

I honestly don't know, Mikey. It's been a long adaptive process to a situation that required me to be someone else. I wouldn't know where to start reversing such a process. I'm trying to re-develop the interests and joy again, but it doesn't seem to stick very well.

Perhaps you need some new interests. If you stick to one interest and you're finding it's a chore to maintain, then that signals a time to change.

However, what may be more likely in your case is that depression and apathy are blocking your enjoyment of hobbies.

If I remember correctly, you living in your house now is giving you grief. Is that still the case? I seriously hope you can move out, and soon, because it can't be doing you any good.

I wish I could help you out more, mate, but all I am are words on a screen. If you want more words on a screen, you're quite welcome to talk to me privately if that'll help.

April Snow said: ↑

Bring on the Cheese!!
another damn cover-write your own music fake-lady

Captain & Tennille MUSKRAT LOVE - YouTube

A classic. :lol: The Great Wall of Teeth. The sounds coming out of the Captain's keyboard were very worrying.

The phrase "Am I depressed or just surrounded by *******s" resonates with me deeply. I lived my whole life thinking I was some mental case screwed in the head, but through the past few months after getting a fullish-time job, having a lot of time away from my family, I've come to understand that maybe I'm not exactly the problem. I've gained a lot of confidence recently and some people here don't appreciate it.

I feel like this avoidance problem I have has been some kind of defense mechanism created because of my experiences at home. I don't know if it's something that I can fix, but it's nice to feel like I have my own back. I used to be my own worst enemy, now I'm my only true ally.

Razzlecherry said: ↑

The phrase "Am I depressed or just surrounded by *******s" resonates with me deeply. I lived my whole life thinking I was some mental case screwed in the head, but through the past few months after getting a fullish-time job, having a lot of time away from my family, I've come to understand that maybe I'm not exactly the problem. I've gained a lot of confidence recently and some people here don't appreciate it.

I feel like this avoidance problem I have has been some kind of defense mechanism created because of my experiences at home. I don't know if it's something that I can fix, but it's nice to feel like I have my own back. I used to be my own worst enemy, now I'm my only true ally.

It's good that you've gained confidence, though. It really is. When you find you have more confidence or you've lessened some of your anxiety, or when you feel you understand yourself better (as in, you have your own back now), it marks a shift in your mental attitude toward your anxiety. You've made progress. You've taken a significant step in the recovery process. And you can use that step to boost yourself to the next one, and the next, and so on.

Keeping away from your family is probably the best thing, because they sound toxic and like they'll only impede your improvement. You say you're not sure if you can fix your avoidance problem, but if you've gained more confidence, why on earth can't you fix it? Sure, it will take time and a lot of effort, but if you're already feeling better since being away from your family and more independent, I would think you could finally begin to do things your way and challenge your comfort zone without feeling like you're being undermined.

Anyway, maybe I've got it all wrong. Just my thoughts on it. I wish you luck, and that's awesome that you're at least feeling better about it.

As for me, it's a...


SNOW DAY!!!



Which doesn't matter, because I have no classes on Wednesday anyway.


Bummer.

So I tried some sleep analyzer app last night, turned out nothing happened, shared that among my few facebook friends. Then a friend of mine responded, and she said that she'd like to meet me, and we could play some board games and she'd cook for me and then we could analyze her sleep together which is surely more interesting than my sleep. :idontknow:

The thing is she has a boyfriend and is only into strictly monogamous relationships. I guess she was just kidding. Still... How odd.

April Snow said: ↑

Bring on the Cheese!!
another damn cover-write your own music fake-lady

The Captain did some of the arrangements on this song... it's a schmaltzy Dennis song but it's actually kind of awesome.

The Beach Boys - Cuddle up - YouTube

Flanscho said: ↑

So I tried some sleep analyzer app last night, turned out nothing happened, shared that among my few facebook friends. Then a friend of mine responded, and she said that she'd like to meet me, and we could play some board games and she'd cook for me and then we could analyze her sleep together which is surely more interesting than my sleep. :idontknow:

The thing is she has a boyfriend and is only into strictly monogamous relationships. I guess she was just kidding. Still... How odd.

um........that's a pretty awkward thing to say to a friend.

I guess I was more tired than I thought. I just woke up from an incredibly deep sleep. I had some of the strangest dreams. I feel...really strange. Maybe I should go sleep it off.

^Maybe you should ask Flanscho to analyse them.

Now is an opportune time to introduce you to Dr Claire Weekes. Follow her programme and you will be cured. The programme itself is simple but you have to want to be cured and to be prepared to put in the requisite effort.

Dr Claire Weekes - Self Help Method for Your Nerves

Dr Claire Weekes - Self Help Method for Your Nerves
Her principal book is called ‘Self Help for your Nerves’.

Scroll down for some audio.
Relax

@flanscho Maybe she is trying to make him jealous? Weirdness...

I wish I had more cake. :sad:

GraybeardGhost said: ↑

I wish I had more cake. :sad:

Where was your cake from? Out here we have Mexican bakeries that are... *angels sing*

Almost 2AM, still awake. Not accomplishing anything though.

Opaline said: ↑

As for me, it's a...


SNOW DAY!!!



Which doesn't matter, because I have no classes on Wednesday anyway.


Bummer.

Still, though; snow. That's pretty neat.