Post your random thoughts/feelings etc
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Flanscho
Well-known member
So, today I decided to start jogging.
I'm in my early thirties, and somewhat overweight (got a BMI of 28).
I got some excuses already why this would be ok.
- I have a full time computer job, so I am basically forced to spend 8 hours a day sitting
- my bicycle is my main means of transportation, I use it to get everywhere within 20 miles
- my thyroid gland is ****ed up, so I my body loves to gain weight like crazy
On the other hand... I do leave quite near my work place, so in the evening I would have time to do some sports.
The main reason why I didn't start earlier was because I was scared. I mean, I'm fat. A fat guy running on the street of a large german city? I'd be bound to get mocked.
But today I thought "this is the day". So I checked again some guides on the internet, what you can do wrong if you start jogging. I put on my comfy pants and a hoodie, tied my hair to a ponytail and fetched my jogging shoes (which I got since a while, I used them for a few months when biking to work). Then I checked another guide. Then I peeked out of the living room window in the hopes of seeing people jog by so I can see others do it too and I'm not alone (which sounds funny but I'm just scared of getting hurt). Then I looked into the mirror and wondered on how fat I look. And then I packed my keys and left the flat.
My flat is on the fourth floor (I don't know how Americans count that, it means that I have to climb up for four floors to reach it). At first I pondered whether I should switch on the light in the staircase, there was still some evening light coming through the windows. But then I thought "whatever" and went down. It felt weird. Apart from hot summer days, I always wear jeans. Wearing those pants I normally have for comfy evenings at home made me feel exposed and somewhat unfitting. I retied my pants to make sure they fit, I wouldn't want them to drop while I was jogging. And then I was out of the house.
I turned left, knowing that in about 100m distance a c**** with rows of trees and some walking/biking paths would go left, and I started jogging into that direction. I told myself "slow down, slow down!", because the guides said that newbies always jog too quickly.
I then reached the c**** and jogged along, the evening sky reflecting in the water and some lamps shining on the path between the trees. After another 100m, some jogged came in my direction, and now I got a bit less nervous. I thought "see, other people do that too, even if they look more sporty than you do, but it's dark anyway". I then did just some slow walking for a while to let my body relax, and then jog some more. And more joggers came by, sometimes in groups, sometimes alone. Some young people, some old, most of them female.
About 20 to 25 minutes later I was back home. I read that you shouldn't do it longer at first, to just show your body that stuff is changing and it should prepare for more such stuff to come. And now I feel better.
I think I will be less nervous next time, because now I did that. I still look the same as before today, but I do feel better. It will still be a bit awkward when I meet people in the staircase, but that's ok I guess.
And this was just one more tiny step to weaken my SA further.
I'm in my early thirties, and somewhat overweight (got a BMI of 28).
I got some excuses already why this would be ok.
- I have a full time computer job, so I am basically forced to spend 8 hours a day sitting
- my bicycle is my main means of transportation, I use it to get everywhere within 20 miles
- my thyroid gland is ****ed up, so I my body loves to gain weight like crazy
On the other hand... I do leave quite near my work place, so in the evening I would have time to do some sports.
The main reason why I didn't start earlier was because I was scared. I mean, I'm fat. A fat guy running on the street of a large german city? I'd be bound to get mocked.
But today I thought "this is the day". So I checked again some guides on the internet, what you can do wrong if you start jogging. I put on my comfy pants and a hoodie, tied my hair to a ponytail and fetched my jogging shoes (which I got since a while, I used them for a few months when biking to work). Then I checked another guide. Then I peeked out of the living room window in the hopes of seeing people jog by so I can see others do it too and I'm not alone (which sounds funny but I'm just scared of getting hurt). Then I looked into the mirror and wondered on how fat I look. And then I packed my keys and left the flat.
My flat is on the fourth floor (I don't know how Americans count that, it means that I have to climb up for four floors to reach it). At first I pondered whether I should switch on the light in the staircase, there was still some evening light coming through the windows. But then I thought "whatever" and went down. It felt weird. Apart from hot summer days, I always wear jeans. Wearing those pants I normally have for comfy evenings at home made me feel exposed and somewhat unfitting. I retied my pants to make sure they fit, I wouldn't want them to drop while I was jogging. And then I was out of the house.
I turned left, knowing that in about 100m distance a c**** with rows of trees and some walking/biking paths would go left, and I started jogging into that direction. I told myself "slow down, slow down!", because the guides said that newbies always jog too quickly.
I then reached the c**** and jogged along, the evening sky reflecting in the water and some lamps shining on the path between the trees. After another 100m, some jogged came in my direction, and now I got a bit less nervous. I thought "see, other people do that too, even if they look more sporty than you do, but it's dark anyway". I then did just some slow walking for a while to let my body relax, and then jog some more. And more joggers came by, sometimes in groups, sometimes alone. Some young people, some old, most of them female.
About 20 to 25 minutes later I was back home. I read that you shouldn't do it longer at first, to just show your body that stuff is changing and it should prepare for more such stuff to come. And now I feel better.
I think I will be less nervous next time, because now I did that. I still look the same as before today, but I do feel better. It will still be a bit awkward when I meet people in the staircase, but that's ok I guess.
And this was just one more tiny step to weaken my SA further.
JuiceB
Well-known member
I was wondering about that too.
Flanscho
Well-known member
Lea
Banned
Weird correspondence with my bank in the UK:
29. 8.
Please note that you will need to have regular transactions on your account in order to prevent the account from being dormant. Accounts where no transactions have been made for a period of 2 years will be considered as dormant.
Once the account is marked as dormant, a letter will be sent to you advising the same. If there is no response from you and the account remains inactive for a further 60 days, the dormancy marker will be placed again on the account.
The dormant account inhibit prevents any debits or credits being applied to the account.
I trust this clarifies the matter.
10. 9.
I notice that you have a marker on your account due to returned correspondence. This marker will temporarily suspend your account. As such, to remove this marker please confirms your current correspondence address and I will update our record accordingly.
20. 8.
Gone Away Marker
Thank you for your e-message received.
With regards to the gone away marker on your profile and your ATM withdrawal enquiry, I confirm that I have forwarded your e-message to the relevant department who will contact you directly.
Please do not hesitate to contact us, should you have any further queries.
First they write 2 years, while my account is only 8 months old and they want to make it dormant, for what, they claim there was some returned correspondence, which I cannot know but I still do receive post from them (though obviously I can´t know if I receive everything they send me. They might have gotten something returned if they wrote my name/address wrongly which often happens as people tend to **** even the most simple and obvious things). And even if they got post returned, it must be perfectly obvious I am alive and kicking when I communicate with them through my internet messaging. And even if I wasn´t, they have my telephone number, so why the crap they just don´t call.
mg: Either they must be dickheads or are doing this on purpose. I just hope it will end up well.. it just shows you can never know what to expect from them and what they decide to do.. I always feel unsafe having money in the bank, esp. if it´s abroad..
And funny they want me to make transactions, when I even can´t withraw these money from ATM (even if it´s up to the allowed daily limit).
29. 8.
Please note that you will need to have regular transactions on your account in order to prevent the account from being dormant. Accounts where no transactions have been made for a period of 2 years will be considered as dormant.
Once the account is marked as dormant, a letter will be sent to you advising the same. If there is no response from you and the account remains inactive for a further 60 days, the dormancy marker will be placed again on the account.
The dormant account inhibit prevents any debits or credits being applied to the account.
I trust this clarifies the matter.
10. 9.
I notice that you have a marker on your account due to returned correspondence. This marker will temporarily suspend your account. As such, to remove this marker please confirms your current correspondence address and I will update our record accordingly.
20. 8.
Gone Away Marker
Thank you for your e-message received.
With regards to the gone away marker on your profile and your ATM withdrawal enquiry, I confirm that I have forwarded your e-message to the relevant department who will contact you directly.
Please do not hesitate to contact us, should you have any further queries.
First they write 2 years, while my account is only 8 months old and they want to make it dormant, for what, they claim there was some returned correspondence, which I cannot know but I still do receive post from them (though obviously I can´t know if I receive everything they send me. They might have gotten something returned if they wrote my name/address wrongly which often happens as people tend to **** even the most simple and obvious things). And even if they got post returned, it must be perfectly obvious I am alive and kicking when I communicate with them through my internet messaging. And even if I wasn´t, they have my telephone number, so why the crap they just don´t call.
mg: Either they must be dickheads or are doing this on purpose. I just hope it will end up well.. it just shows you can never know what to expect from them and what they decide to do.. I always feel unsafe having money in the bank, esp. if it´s abroad.. And funny they want me to make transactions, when I even can´t withraw these money from ATM (even if it´s up to the allowed daily limit).
Flanscho
Well-known member
Wrote this down yesterday.
So today is election day. I don't have the voting-slip anmore, so I think "wth I still got my id card, that's good enough". To make sure where the election place is, I check the vote-place-finder on the internet. I type in my adress. Before I've typed in the street number, the finder already gives me a result, and doesn't change it when I type in the rest. I mistrust the thing, so I reload it, and copy&paste my entire adress in at once, and behold: now it's a different place. What a badly programmed tool. But glad I checked that to make sure I go to the right place, right?
So I go to that nearby place, some school, and they have two voting places there at once. I approach the people there who are supposed to help you with that, give them my id card, and ask them whether this is the place or the one next door.
Their reply: "oh, you are wrong here, you have to go to a completely different place at that&that street".
I: "are you sure?
They: "oh definately. It says it here on the list."
I: "because the finder on the internet made that mistake too, but this is supposed to be the right place here"
They: "no no here is the wrong place"
I: "so the official internet voting place tool is wrong?"
They: "must be"
So I take my bike, and go to the other place. It's again split up in two voting places, but they just gave me the adress, so I check the first one and give them my id card. They tell me it's the other place next door.
I arrive at the other place next door, and I give them my id card, and ask them...
I: "so this is the right place?"
Them: "let's check. .... .... No, this is the wrong place."
I: "Excuse me?"
Them: "your place is at a school at that&that adress."
I: "I just came from there. They said me that it's this place here."
Them: "oh no they are wrong, it clearly says in our list it's that other place"
I: "Are you sure? Definately? Because the website also mentioned the other place first, but the other team claimed that this here is the right place."
Them: "they definately must be wrong."
I: "... alright"
Them: "You have to go back there if you want to vote. If they still say it's wrong, you have to phone the voting team"
I: "... ok ...."
So I bike back to the first place. Once I arrive there...
I: "Hello again."
They: "hi"
I: "I was here about 20 to 30 minutes ago, and you sent me to that&that place to vote"
They: "Yes?"
I: "you've been wrong, here, check my id again"
They: "let's have another look"
One worker to another: "it's the guy we sent to the other voting place"
They: "no, they are wrong, you have to go to the place you just came from to vote"
I: "that makes no sense. I just came from there. They double checked it."
They: "we have the list here, it says the other place"
I: "because the street I live in is long"
They: "ah"
I: "so it's covered by several voting places"
They: "yes?"
I: "and I live in 77A, not 77. And 77 is most likely the other place, while 77a is this place."
They: "oh no that is wrong, this is the wrong place"
I: "check it again. Here, look at my id card, 77A is the house number"
One worker to the other: "check the appendix, the list at the end"
I: "you understand that I will definately NOT go back to the other place again"
They: "yes sure" *still checking*
They: "oh, you are right. Here, 77a, this place is correct. We were wrong. But this was a complicated case".
....
So today is election day. I don't have the voting-slip anmore, so I think "wth I still got my id card, that's good enough". To make sure where the election place is, I check the vote-place-finder on the internet. I type in my adress. Before I've typed in the street number, the finder already gives me a result, and doesn't change it when I type in the rest. I mistrust the thing, so I reload it, and copy&paste my entire adress in at once, and behold: now it's a different place. What a badly programmed tool. But glad I checked that to make sure I go to the right place, right?
So I go to that nearby place, some school, and they have two voting places there at once. I approach the people there who are supposed to help you with that, give them my id card, and ask them whether this is the place or the one next door.
Their reply: "oh, you are wrong here, you have to go to a completely different place at that&that street".
I: "are you sure?
They: "oh definately. It says it here on the list."
I: "because the finder on the internet made that mistake too, but this is supposed to be the right place here"
They: "no no here is the wrong place"
I: "so the official internet voting place tool is wrong?"
They: "must be"
So I take my bike, and go to the other place. It's again split up in two voting places, but they just gave me the adress, so I check the first one and give them my id card. They tell me it's the other place next door.
I arrive at the other place next door, and I give them my id card, and ask them...
I: "so this is the right place?"
Them: "let's check. .... .... No, this is the wrong place."
I: "Excuse me?"
Them: "your place is at a school at that&that adress."
I: "I just came from there. They said me that it's this place here."
Them: "oh no they are wrong, it clearly says in our list it's that other place"
I: "Are you sure? Definately? Because the website also mentioned the other place first, but the other team claimed that this here is the right place."
Them: "they definately must be wrong."
I: "... alright"
Them: "You have to go back there if you want to vote. If they still say it's wrong, you have to phone the voting team"
I: "... ok ...."
So I bike back to the first place. Once I arrive there...
I: "Hello again."
They: "hi"
I: "I was here about 20 to 30 minutes ago, and you sent me to that&that place to vote"
They: "Yes?"
I: "you've been wrong, here, check my id again"
They: "let's have another look"
One worker to another: "it's the guy we sent to the other voting place"
They: "no, they are wrong, you have to go to the place you just came from to vote"
I: "that makes no sense. I just came from there. They double checked it."
They: "we have the list here, it says the other place"
I: "because the street I live in is long"
They: "ah"
I: "so it's covered by several voting places"
They: "yes?"
I: "and I live in 77A, not 77. And 77 is most likely the other place, while 77a is this place."
They: "oh no that is wrong, this is the wrong place"
I: "check it again. Here, look at my id card, 77A is the house number"
One worker to the other: "check the appendix, the list at the end"
I: "you understand that I will definately NOT go back to the other place again"
They: "yes sure" *still checking*
They: "oh, you are right. Here, 77a, this place is correct. We were wrong. But this was a complicated case".
....
Phoenixx
Well-known member
I finally was able to schedule a tour/visit at one of the universities I have in mind next year. I'll be going to Buffalo next Wednesday and I'm pretty stoked. I've only ever been there once, went a few years ago looking at a college, and just from what I saw I kinda liked the city.
coyote
Well-known member
you must be going to the wrong c a n a l s :thinking:
Phoenixx
Well-known member
I had a former friend randomly message me on Facebook tonight asking me for my brother's number because she wanted to "catch up and see how it's going." (aka brag about her new life and poke her nose in his) I don't know why I caved in and gave her the number. Now I feel kinda stupid for doing so and I'm sure my brother will tell me about it. mg:
Anyway, since she had randomly messaged me, I figured I'd be nice and attempt to converse. Congratulated her on her new engagement and asked her how things have been. She barely said two words to me and signed off. This is exactly why I cut off the friendship a few years ago. She only ever uses me, and other people, to get what she wants and doesn't care about anyone else.
mg:Anyway, since she had randomly messaged me, I figured I'd be nice and attempt to converse. Congratulated her on her new engagement and asked her how things have been. She barely said two words to me and signed off.
This is exactly why I cut off the friendship a few years ago. She only ever uses me, and other people, to get what she wants and doesn't care about anyone else.
Kiwong
Well-known member
pretty much
Yes that pretty much true for my mind.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
^ I feel like this should be a poster hanging on my wall in my room.pretty much
Opaline
1
Opaline
1
Forgive my ignorance, but is that something really special or hard to get? Or is it that you've never run a triathlon? Either way, congrats. That sounds pretty cool.
I don't know what I want in life for myself. I know I want my parents to be healthy. My dad was seizuring in his sleep again. But, what do I want for myself? I don't care about being CEO. I will probably get a low wage job after graduation and just earn enough money to pay for health insurance and other necessities. I don't care about getting promoted to managerial positions. And, it doesn't matter if I get vacation or not. I will probably end up like my dad, always saving and never taking vacation time off. Travelling around the world has no appeal to me. I don't gain any pleasure from meeting new people. I am scared of people, of the many things they can do to me.
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