Epiphany #2: I have become as cheap and irrational as my dad. This realization is hard to stomach. I know that parents have a big amount of influence on their children (maybe 40%), but in my case, it seems like 60%.
My dad does not know everything that there is. I used to believe everything that he told me but now I realized how wrong some of his advice were. For instance, dad used to tell me that dentists are there to rip people off. He and his brother (my uncle) both believed dentists injure people's gums and teeth. [Now I'm old enough to know there are good and bad dentists, just like there are crooks in every profession]. My dad (not a dentist) even tried to give me some “dental advice”, the most infamous of which was “cavities will disappear on their own.” For a long period of time, I believed him. I had cavities for many years but didn't bother to have them filled because I thought they would eventually “disappear.” But I was dead wrong. My wakeup call came when several years ago, I was eating desert when I felt one of my teeth shatter. It felt like eating rock. So I spat out the food and took a look in the mirror. Found out part of my tooth was missing! H0ly s**t! Next day went to the dentist immediately. Needed root canal therapy. Dentist kept telling me I should have seen him earlier. Dentist's aide was looking at me with so much pity. Long story short, I got the tooth fixed as well as most of my cavities.
On the other hand, my dad didn't fix his cavities. When he sleeps, he huffs and puffs with his mouth open. I could smell his breath even as far away as 10 feet, and it stinks! At first, I thought it was fertilizer smell from outside but the windows were closed. Then I realized it's his breath! And I always wonder why my mom wouldn't sleep with him anymore. Cavities and plaque can cause stinky breath, but my dad refuse to go to the dentist for some many years.
Now that I think about it, there are other areas where I resemble my dad greatly. My dad rarely goes shopping for new wardrobe. He wears the same shirts, pants and shoes over again for the many years. I am also the same way. I only have a couple of shirts and pants that I wear out in public. Many of my old clothes were torn so I wear them at home. I also rarely go shopping for clothes, but if I do, I try to find the cheapest clothes there is.
I remember when I was a child, I liked buying books and toys. When I asked my dad to buy me anything over $5, he would sigh a lot and make disappointed faces at me. So he instated a policy where I could only purchase items that were under $3. Even a $3 Barbie is too expensive for him. I must have picked up this habit too, subconsciously. Every time I see something priced above $5, I hesitate and ruminate a lot before deciding to buy.
Another case in point: one time, I saw my dad using a dish scrubber to wash the sink. My mom had poured bleach on the sink beforehand and didn't rinse it out. Then, instead of throwing the dish scrubber away, he was planning to reuse it to wash dishes! So I told him not to reuse it because it's dirty. It's visibly clear that the dish scrubber had started turning black. He said we should reuse it. Then I told him that there's bleach on it and contaminating the dishes with bleach is bad. Bleach is poisonous. Plus there's some mold around the sink before he wiped them off with the dish scrubber. My dad got angry and told me something along those lines: “You are making such a big deal out of nothing. If you continue with this behavior, you might not succeed in the workplace. Did you know that restaurants wash their dishes with bleach?” That last question totally threw me off. I was like WTF?!?! Are you ok, Dad? I asked him where in the world he got this information because washing dishes with bleach is toxic! He told me he saw with his own eyes. What????
Well anyways long story short, I told my mom what happened and she took my side. She threw away the dish scrubber and used a new one.
Takeaway: My dad is freakin' cheap. Even my grandma told my mom that he's one of her cheapest sons ever.
