If at any point you think that what I'm suggesting doesn't really help you, just skip to the end, no need to force yourself through my usual walls of text.
First of all, I wasn't implying that you were careless about your appearance, I was talking about other sorts of things. For example, I know that my sister (20 years old) probably doesn't get jobs because she dresses a bit like a hippie/hipster. She showers, her clothes are clean, she doesn't do drugs or anything. It's just her style, it just doesn't look like what you're used to see girls wearing. For example, until not long ago she didn't even wear jeans. I believe her style mis the main thing stopping her from getting a job.
I am too closed off. I can talk a lot if I get into a talk with someone, was even told I am intelligent. But except of it I think there is some autistic aura around me. Something deadly silent. I am just not the loud cheerful type who likes to socialize and is instantly at home everywhere, who coments on everything, smiles, creates contacts, bonds with other people. Who is mature, has family, kids, job. I always prefer to be in my room when in a sharehouse, instead of the common area. It´s not that I don´t try enough, it´s simply not natural to me.
Well I didn't understand if you are saying you're mature, have a family, kids and a job or that you don't, but I relate to everything else (and if you're saying you don't, then I relate to everything).
Most importantly I can´t make eye contact properly and smile, although I am always nice and polite. I think it´s the fact that when people are joking and laughing, I am deadly silent, which means I don´t create the bond required with them, and it probably seems rude or aloof to them, although I am not like this in order to be rude.
I think I have an unusually high amount of them given the standards for people in this forum; they're not that many (maybe 20 altogether?) and I'm not very close to any of them when it comes to sharing my feelings. When I'm around them (or most of them), I'm very quiet. If I'm around my uncles or people I just met, then I'm deadly silent too. Still, when I'm around those people I listen to what they're saying and laugh at their jokes and keep eye contact every now and then. In my experience this has been enough to only come across as shy and not rude.
Same with difficulty in smiling back at people when they smile at me, or eye contact difficulty. I am quite sure that what I described above is the reason for my dismissals.
I have to say that smiling back at people is one of the things that I can do very easily. If someone smiles at me, I feel like that person noticed me and remembers me, so I was at least worthy enough of not being forgotten. I don't know why but it makes me a bit happy (enough to make me smile) that they remember the guy that barely spoke. If it's someone I knew for longer, it makes me happy because they didn't ignore me or avoided me, I'm important enough for them to spend a few seconds or minutes just doing small talk.
Sometimes when people smile at me during conversations I just smile back at them, I don't really know why that happens. Anyway, I think having a positive attitude towards the reason the person might have to be smiling at you can be helpful.
When it comes to eye contact it's a bit different. I have the tendency to look at people's mouth when they're talking. Still, when this happens I tell myself to pay attention to the eyes. I'm guessing this isn't exactly your problem, but a similar approach might work. When you find yourself avoiding eye contact, try to look at the person's eye for a couple of seconds before looking away again. You're not supposed to keep staring at the person through the whole conversation anyway. Just don't make it way too short.
I'm not sure I'm addressing the real issues behind your problems. Could you tell me which disorder(s) you might have? I think that can help me understand you a bit better.
