Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

awkwardamanda

Well-known member
My mom and I went shopping for a baby shower gift this afternoon. I saw some sort of harness that said "Homemade" on it and I thought, "I guess that's better than being made in the backseat of a car."
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Indeed!

Really it was nothing worth mentioning - as I said, probably nobody but myself would consider it to be a confrontation at all... It was just a vague comment from someone.
Even vague comments can get to you, as they have done to me in the past. I hope it dissipates from your mind soon.

Tomorrow is Australia Day. Usually a time for Aussies to get together and have a barbecue, go to the beach, have a beer or two, or just do whatever they want in this wonderful country of ours. For me, Australia Day means getting together with all my extended family, most of which I don't know, and trying to hold awkward conversation with them. Last year I was so angry by the end of it that I nearly lost my driver's licence. I hope that will not be the case this time around.
 

this_portrait

Well-known member
Finally called a psychiatrist to see if I could make an appointment for a talk session, only to find out this particular one deals more with medication management.

Buggar.

Now I gotta call someone else tomorrow. I don't know if she can prescribe medication or not, but at this point, I don't really care because I'm not going back on pills unless it's highly suggested I do.
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Finally called a psychiatrist to see if I could make an appointment for a talk session, only to find out this particular one deals more with medication management.

Buggar.

Now I gotta call someone else tomorrow. I don't know if she can prescribe medication or not, but at this point, I don't really care because I'm not going back on pills unless it's highly suggested I do.

Congratulations. I have a meeting with a Psychiatrist in March. I wish it was sooner but better than nothing!
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
Apparently the bogan woman two doors up from me - the one that yells and screams and causes disruptions to the street - is scared of me! That is awesome. :bat:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Why are you feeling not good enough? I don't think you should apologize for bein introverted or not liking sports.

:idontknow: I guess it's because ma family have certain expectations upon me. In terms of how I "should" be. Ma late father was the worst for doin' that - yeah, still mess with me even though he's gone. Ah know, unresolved issues there. Cannae really explain it, is there a link between not feelin' good enough and emotionally absent parents?

Trying to live up to other people's standards won't do you any good.

Kinda hard when everyone else seems to force their standard upon me, being guilt-tripped intae doing stuff I don't really want to do etc. I could say "No" but I always have to justify that response, so just say "Aye" and agree. And it's no' in ma nature tae get mad, really. I guess I'm too nice... and passive.
 

SoScared

Well-known member
I hate it when I come up with a great reply to a thread, but the moment I click the "quote" button, it evaporates from my mind. Even when I'm able to hold on to the thought, I often need two or three hours to compose it to my satisfaction. I need a brain upgrade. I need some sort of implant. Why is there never an alien around when you need one? :idontknow:
Yeah, your're so right. This is why, this is why.....man its gone..:crying:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I wish I didn't feel like I'm not good enough... I feel quite depressed at the moment. *Sigh* :'(

Same here, Starry. :sad: Anyway, I hope ya feel better soon, darlin'.
hug.gif
 

jaim38

Well-known member
:idontknow: I guess it's because ma family have certain expectations upon me. In terms of how I "should" be. Ma late father was the worst for doin' that - yeah, still mess with me even though he's gone. Ah know, unresolved issues there. Cannae really explain it, is there a link between not feelin' good enough and emotionally absent parents?

Maybe there is a link. But sometimes people don't have realistic expectations for us.
 

dottie

Well-known member
I can relate and the fact I constantly question my motives and paths I've chosen, doesn't help at all.

On another note, I walked into the library today. This female colleague of mine commented: "You look weird".
I should have just ignored her...but I asked "why?".
"Well, you just look awful, your hair is terrible".

How nice of her...:thumbup:

Then I had to present a project in front of a whole class. Great day so far! [/sarcasm]

wow, that was rude. smack her.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
On another note, I walked into the library today. This female colleague of mine commented: "You look weird".
I should have just ignored her...but I asked "why?".
"Well, you just look awful, your hair is terrible".

How nice of her...:thumbup:

Then I had to present a project in front of a whole class. Great day so far! [/sarcasm]
^ How very rude of her. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

I hope your presentation went okay? Those suck, but you did it at least. You sound like you need a hug. *hugs* Hopefully the rest of your day will be better.
 

planemo

Well-known member
^ How very rude of her. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

I hope your presentation went okay? Those suck, but you did it at least. You sound like you need a hug. *hugs* Hopefully the rest of your day will be better.

ditto. well said phoenixx
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I had a really ****ty morning. Slept through my alarm and ended up being woke up by my mother with only a half hour to get ready, to pack my bag, and eat. When I get woke up so suddenly, and then have to rush, it sends me into a panic, to the point where I feel like I'm having a panic attack. I don't know why, but I've been like that for a while. To make matters even better, my mother was also in a bad mood this morning all because of me and we had a bit of a row. Well actually it was more like her nearly yelling and me just trying to get ready for school, nearly bawling my eyes out with anxiety.

This week already I have been very tired because I'm not getting much sleep. I hate changing my sleep schedule all over again just for classes. I have already been feeling stressed/depressed even though it's the first week of classes -- between high anxiety with brand new classes and people, already having homework due, and having to do other things, I already feel like a wreck. All that combined with what happened this morning, I basically broke. I do feel awful for reacting the way I did, but I can't help it. Honestly, I cannot control myself and to have her yell at me like that, what she said, just makes me feel worse about myself.

I guess you could call this my "new year's resolution" but this month I have been trying pretty hard, little by little, to be more open about everything, including my anxiety and depression. It took me three times to keep telling my mother about a certain feminine issue before she finally perked up and gave me advice on what to do and what she thought. I've been telling her little by little, especially when I'm driving, how I feel being around people. But all I get is, "I don't get it/understand," "You're just weird," "Just like your father," or just plain ignorance. Like absolutely no say on the matter whatsoever -- either change of subject or silence. I'll admit I've been a bit more whine-y and pessimistic and have been complaining quite a bit more than usual lately, so I guess I can't exactly blame her for wanting to ignore me during those moments. But why won't she listen any other time??? It just really makes me sad, you know? It does not help me at all, especially when I feel like I'm sinking so much. :sad: I know I'm not exactly that emotionally mature, or at least I think I could use a whole lot of work, but really I just need help and I wish she'd just listen to me. It just irritates me so much when it comes to stupid little things -- like who I text, for example -- she gets nosy about it, but when I come to her about things that are serious to me, or if I need help in an emotional sense she's about as far away as can be. What's worse? I've seen her be very comforting to people before, you know a motherly sort of comfort, to my friends even. I haven't gotten that much from her before, very rarely has she been there to offer a hug or some sort of consolation. So why not me?

Lately I've been considering just mustering up every bit of courage I have and calling the therapist I found and asking about their prices and if they could accept my insurance. I don't know what else I'm going to do if I can't afford it. Go back to locking up emotions I guess, because I don't feel like anyone in my family cares. :sad: I really could use this help. And that's why I wanted to be open with my mother about everything anyway, because not only would it be relieving, but I was hoping to talk about seeking a therapist and getting further help from there. This is something I need to do myself though, by the looks of it. Even if I can and do go through with this, I'll have to coordinate appointments with my school schedule and get rides from my friend. She does know a lot more how I feel around people now, and she has not judged me or treated me any differently. Coming clean about the whole depression issues is a lot harder and haven't told her yet. I'm just so afraid and I wish I'd stop. She hasn't treated me any differently this far, so why can't I just do it?

I'm really sorry for the wall of text, and I apologize if I sound whine-y. I needed to get everything out.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
^You can always vent here. We're here to listen. Does your school offer free counseling for students? You might want to check into that.
 

JuiceB

Well-known member
Off work today and now it seems I'll be off Monday as well. Guess I'll use that time to look for another job.
 
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