overly sensitive?

exquisite

Well-known member
ive been thinking lately & ive noticed something about myself, i get hurt really easily. like, a person could say a snarky comment or even something jokingly, in passing, even my best friend. & it will legitimately hurt me, as if she just slept with my bf or something. like, it actually wills hurt me emotionally. for example, peoples criticism is usually very hard to process for me, since it feels like a personal attack. does that seem weird? am i just being overly sensitive, or does someone else know what im talking about?
 
It's not weird. I could get a phd in being sensitive. Snarky comments get me worse than anything, and I can't hide my hurt, which just encourages people to do it even more!
 

IamThisOne

Well-known member
I'm like that too. I can't take jokes well, I think they are being serious. When someone will give me a "friendly insult" I get offended, but I try not to let it be known.
 

dottie

Well-known member
yes, you are being overly sensitive. but i'm the same way. i can be totally irrational and hypersensitive. it is a huge part of why i struggle so much relating with people and why i inadvertantly build walls to even prevent the exhausting task of even dealing with people. (AVPD here) i wish i could turn it off.

edited because i am sleepy and getting weird... er, weirder.
 
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Kiwong

Well-known member
Yes, oversensitivity is part of my anxiety. I am really focused on negative things I either imagine or actually hear said about me. This is often from people I don' really know.

I am very fearful of giving people the wrong impression, and then hearing the name calling and gossip that has occured as a result.

It gets so bad that when people are whispering I imagine they are saying bad things about me. It verges on paranoia.

I can lose sleep, cry for hours, or feel extremely nervous that something bad will happen.

I don't as well focused on the compliments or praise I often get.
 

Aussie_Lad

Well-known member
I can relate to this as I used to be the same. What you can do is work on your Emotional Intelligence (EQ). When you start to recognise your emotions, you become more aware of when your emotions are starting to ramp up and what that is telling you. As well, you can become subconciously aware of incoming energy from other people's emotions, so you know that the feelings you have are not coming from you, but from the other person.

It really does help get you out of sticky situations when you have a cool head. However it is a long road travelled to gain full confidence in all situations, as you need the situations to come up in order to know whether you have conquered them or not.
 

Feathers

Well-known member
Have you read the book The Highly Sensitive Person or the website by Elaine Aron? Some good info there.. Apparently about 15-20% people (often the smartest and most gifted/talented people :D) are also 'highly sensitive' (I like the term 'highly perceptive' better, as we may notice things others don't etc.. :))

Of course it could also be a sign of illness/condition (or a few) or magnesium deficiency or other vitamin/mineral deficiencies or imbalances.. Or we could just be caring people, huh? :)

The trick is to not imagine things and not to interpret feelings or voices of others in a way they didn't even intend to!! (We may observe they are tired/angry, but it may have nothing to do with us!) And not to get overstimulated/understimulated.. It may not be easy, I guess it's a goal!!

Also, giving and recieving constructive criticism is an art itself, very few people know how to do it proper. There are books on this too. Both how to give and recieve it. Ideally, it's what you like, followed with what could be improved. (There are some formulas too, like + - +) It may be a challenge to do this sometimes though lol.. So know if you're upset it's not only just 'you', maybe the other person doesn't know how to give constructive and helpful criticism proper!!
 
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fitftw

Well-known member
I don't experience emotions much these days, but what people said about me used to bother me. I haven't heard anyone really talk bad about me lately except my mom...
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
You're definitely not alone.
I'm really sensitive, an old teacher said that I was a "typical Pisces"..
I'm very analytical of what my boyfriend says to me, and I'll pick up on something and think about what he "could have meant" for days..
This has reminded me of something silly that happened when I went in for a college interview:
On my application form, I wrote in the medical issues part all of my personality disorders. The guy didn't read it straight away, and I felt as though he was patronising me when he was speaking to me about the courses.. I got really angry and felt like ****ing off out of the place. Then he read the part with medical issues, and he asked me "how is that going for you?", and I said "It's a work in progress..". As soon as I said that, I got teary, and I stopped speaking because I knew that I would have started to cry if I did. He then told me a really depressing story about how last year a student came and told him that at the beginning of the year, she used to go home crying every night. He said that finding this out was "mortifying". Telling me this made me want to punch him. Why tell me this? It just makes me worry even more..
Well, I didn't go back to that place. I'm applying for a different college..
But yeah, I'm really sensitive.

That sounds like it was a really bad experience... what a clueless guy.

I'm overly sensitive also, to the point where peoples' tones and facial expressions offend me. Usually I'm offended by the people just working at the counter at a store, and I mean they are most likely exhausted from work and have every reason to be monotone and deny returning my smile. It's when they stare at me, expressionless, while i'm smiling at them with a "hello" and all they seem like they're doing is projecting their hatred for their job onto me. It's one of the main reasons I hate going outside... Not to mention sound sensitivity..
 

exquisite

Well-known member
i actually ordered the HSP book from my library..i probably am overly sensitive.

whatkatiedid, im exactly like that.with my ex, anything he'd say, i'd take it seriously. that was his sense of humor, to tease. for example, i'd be like, i feel so fat today. & he'd say something along the lines of "yeah, you are looking kinda plump" or "i noticed something was different about you, stressed out?" he'd always get mad at me when i'd actually be appalled & hurt by what he said "but babe, you should know by now that i would never honestly think that, come on!" we'd literally get into arguments about it.... but then again, he was a paranoid schizophrenic, so we both had our mental issues. but it would still legitimately hurt.

here's another question for you guys, how do you deal with the emotional hurt? or what are some good ways to deal with it? see, i just get incredibly angry & mad at people, which doesnt help a bit, since i'll be mad at a best friend for days, sometimes weeks, over something she said. how do you guys deal?
 

Feathers

Well-known member
Hey exquisite!

Do tell if you find the HSP book helpful.. About getting mad/angry, oh my...
I just read at the ADD/ADHD forums that getting on meds helped some people with anger issues too.. There may be some brain chemicals involved in this, though I'd much rather tweak it with nutrition and CBT journalling too..

There are books and sites on dealing with criticism too, and there's a book with what to say if a girl says 'I'm fat' but I forgot which one it is!! (It's best to just not say these things to guys.. They love us anyway and usually don't see our faults until we point them out like that! Lots of guys like not-so-skinny girls anyway, and you want someone who likes you for you..) Maybe 'Men are from Mars...' (not sure)

Some guys really like to tease... (my Dad is a bit like that too) I don't know what it is but they actually like to see a girl angry?? (It may also be if they have ADD/ADHD, the rise in adrenaline from the quarrel can give them a 'rush'...)

emotional hurt - journalling, ideally with CBT applied, or distraction (Jdramas or internet - not very constructive though, I know!), talking to someone sympathetic/venting, writing an angry silly country song... It depends what it is.. and how I feel.. a brisk walk or physical work/exercise can help too..
 

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
know what ya mean.. if someone says i'm driving too slow or too fast for example it hurts my feelings haha.. today i ordered pizza and the deliverperson said "take it easy" and it hit a sensitive spot because i must have been acting too serious or odd or something :/
 

sleeper

Member
I saw a post in this thread mentioning the book 'The Highly Sensitive Person' and I also would recommend reading it if you think you are this type of person. I think that I fit into this category as well.

Brian
 

Damaged

Well-known member
I guess I am in a way, not with jokes though cos I enjoy a lot of 'banter' between friends. But whenever I talk to my mum, she looks as me as if shes not really listening or interested sometimes, in fact a lot of people do that and it really makes me want to cry.
I also take things to heart if things don't go exactly the way i planned in my head, or how i think things out which is just me being selfish tbh.
 

Ran

Active member
Oddly enough I'm generally okay if certain people (my close friends, my boyfriend) makes a one-off joke about me, because I know they're just poking fun. But as soon as they repeat it or it becomes more of a running jest, I tend to get overly upset. I feel like I'm just there to be made fun of. Embarrassingly enough tears often ensue.

I also get upset with things like if I'm standing in the way in an aisle and someone says 'excuse me', silly things like that. I can take constructive criticism well but not criticism for the sake of griping (who can really?), though even with kind criticism I can still get a little sensitive.
 

Sinar_Matahari

Well-known member
I used to be a lot like this when I was a child and in my early adolescence. I found myself being profoundly hurt by the smallest comment or action. Now, as an adult, I can either be sensitive or completely unaffected. It's partly thanks to having grown a thicker skin, but there are times when I simply cannot be bothered by things that people do and say. Over the years, people would often tell me to let things roll off my back - that the ability to do so comes with age. I've found the latter to be true. Keeping a sense of humor and knowing when to not take myself seriously has been good for me.
 

DRAGON

Member
yes definitively, but with the time i would learn from it and make use of it.
Because of it; it is very easy for me to read people and know how they feel, it is easy to know if they are lying, if they are mad about something or if they are hiding something, i would know if a lady likes me or if someone hates me wich would be a serius trouble for me in the beginning since expressions are words to me and i would know what they think of me.
nevertheless I found it to be a very good tool and it kind of push me to understand my self by understanding people, i used to hate being so sensitive (some times i still do) but when knowing how to use it is like you are one step ahead of the people, i would not be surprised if some of you have the ability of seeing and hearing things, feeling the presence of someone who is watching you or things moving in your house when there is no one well that part was tough when i was a child:eek:
 

missjesss

Banned
People with s.a are super sensitive because we are in fight/flight mode alot of the time what u need to do is work on ur negatie thinking patterns STOP ur negative self talk if u do hear something being said about u or someoe says something to u try ur hardest to forget about it don't dwell on it that's wen we get more anxious and the cycle goes around again
 
I can sooo much relate to this :), i'm overly sensetive also.
words touch me, and im always alert of the things happening around me
and i feel ''heavy emotions'' every day
I just talked with my psych, and she told me I'm highly sensetive person..
I already knew this lol , i'm a google freak ::p:
Its hard to be this way, but it also has great sides, we can feel more joy and we totally feel a sad song for example ^^, and we have talents, like we are really good at helping people, because we feel them ;)

X
 

Snowdrop

Well-known member
Omg, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I feel so relieved that there are other people like me.
I am overly sensitive, and I hate that. If people say something even as a small joke I will get hurt, like in my heart it's a clench or as if someone dropped a stone on it. I don't know why it is :( Even if someone is smiling and it is clearly a joke, as you say.
I've gotten so used to feeling hurt, it's become automatic. And its reflex too, when someone hurts me I'll think in my head "Right, she didn't mean that, it's not like that"
but it's so hard. Sounds really weird right? I'm trying to work on my self esteem though...
 
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