it's so hard to make friends

[LazyHermitCrab]

real friends

 

[THeCARS1979]

Thats what I thought of , joining college at this age of 39. But where would it get me. I could still be miserable and then I dont know if Id even meet anyone there either.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I thought going to college would help, but I haven't made one friend that I can hang out with outside of class. Anytime there's a break or anything everyone just goes on their phones or doesn't look at me. I don't know how to make a friend and it doesn't seem like ppl are interested... :/ There has been potential friends, but then they end up sitting on the other side of the room and no one seems to move once they find "their spot"... it never seems appropriate to ask to hang out on break or anything... I dunno how it's done lol. P.S i'm a senior who's a transfer student at a commute school...

Yeah, I'd rather log into an online college class once I'm older than going in an actual college. What, with all that happened to me back at Pen Hills with those mean bratty kids, I'll never go, even if my family has to put all their strength in convincing me otherwise. I hate kids and I certainly don't want to waste my time being hurt more. People tell me when I'm older, and finsih the 12th grade, it's going to be abig world out there. Yet, I think I have a pretty good idea how the world is since people unintentionally demonstrate their behaviors towards me. It's not a big world. It's violent and deranged.

 

[bsammy]

you think its hard making friends when you are on college just wait until you hit your earlys 30s..

 

[jaim38]

Making friends is not on my list of priorities. I have trouble talking to aquaintances and socializing in the first place.

 

[Diend]

Right now I'm more worried how long it will take me to graduate.

 

[A86]

I have two words... "study group".

Its a good excuse to talk to people and get them to hang out. From there you can get to know people better, and as a bonus you get different perspectives on course material which can increase your overall understanding and grades.

 

[dottie]

 

[sahxox]

It is so incredibly difficult with social phobia. >.< I end up feeling completely miserable because of it. Still have old friends from high-school, but making new ones is basically impossible.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

That is... very true.

Edit: But kind of pathetic when you think about it

 

[dottie]

That is... very true.

Edit: But kind of pathetic when you think about it

how is it pathetic?

 

[ZeroFriends69]

When I went off to college ten years ago, my psychiatrist gave me this advice: get your (blonde) hair highlighted. Wear makeup. Make yourself look approachable, so that people come to you, and you don't have to "put yourself out there" as much.

Which is a funny thing for a licensed adult to say to a kid as scarred as I was.

But I painted my face, and I made friends. (I didn't need the makeup.)

And I am still seeing the same doctor ... because I can't shake that fear of judgement.

I am pushing 30, and yesterday I sat in a waiting room full of Legos and avoiding eye contact with a little boy's nanny.

But I was wearing makeup.

I was in control.

 

[mismeek]

maybe look for community clubs or hobby groups?

 

[Buda]

Thanks for sharing Carnegie, it's still quite true after so many years. This book should be read a lot of times

 

[NeverAlone]

When you get friends you may think 'Oh this is very nice, but I still prefer my own space'

 

[Kiwong]

I think it is great when you get interested in things, and then find out there are people interested in the same stuff. And then you can talk for hours, and find some sort of connection with them.

Maybe the secret is getting interested in the first place, not because you want to make friends, but because you are inspired by the world, and want to learn and explore it.

 

[Kiwong]

Carnegie's message seems to pitched at those with a desperation to make friends, not to engage with the world for the joy of it.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

how is it pathetic?

It's just that it made me realize how much people like to talk about themselves

 

[dottie]

Carnegie's message seems to pitched at those with a desperation to make friends, not to engage with the world for the joy of it.

maybe so... but more than anything i think he provides an awareness of human behavior. so many people on this site wonder, "why don't i make friends at school?" this explains a lot.

 

[Flanscho]

I don't know. Find a hobby you can share with others. Search for groups of people with that hobby. Meet them. Then you get to know people with whom you have something in common, and who can become your friends.

That way I built up my circle of friends. And a couple of months ago I set up an ad at a fitting website to search for people to spend time doing the same hobby with. Now I met such people, and they seem like really nice guys, and tomorrow I'll meet them again. And if I meet them a couple more times, they'll also become my friends.