How old were you when you lost your virginity?
- Thread starter gsmax5
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Sora
Well-known member
Try not to worry about it, it's a personal choice and it does not matter how old you are when you lose it.
I didn't lose it until I was 21, I felt no different after I lost it. I thought maybe I might feel slightly different but no lol. It's not that important to me, I'd much rather find someone special and spend a lifetime with them without sex than having sex with someone who I don't really connect with.
Obviously I would like it but it's not the major priority in my eyes and people put too much focus on it.
Try not to worry and remember that it's your own personal choice.
I didn't lose it until I was 21, I felt no different after I lost it. I thought maybe I might feel slightly different but no lol. It's not that important to me, I'd much rather find someone special and spend a lifetime with them without sex than having sex with someone who I don't really connect with.
Obviously I would like it but it's not the major priority in my eyes and people put too much focus on it.
Try not to worry and remember that it's your own personal choice.
lonely_drummer
Well-known member
I was 18 but I've been practicing celibacy since January 2008 ( wow almost four years!). It's been tough but it has been rewarding as well. To me sex is overrated and distracting. It's funny because I remind myself of George Costanza from Seinfeld where they all have a bet to see who can last the longest without sex or masturbation and George all of a sudden gets really smart. Well I was in the middle of my physics degree when I decided to become celibate and seriously, the amount of concentration I had was amazing, my grades went up dramatically. Oh wow, the things we learn from TV lol
MikeyC
Well-known member
I'm 25 and still a virgin, and I only know one other person (5 years younger almost to the day) who's also a virgin.
I'm love-shy and I get really anxious when things get intimate. I don't have any interest in losing my virginity and sex doesn't seem to be as much as a "goal" as other male friends make it out to be.
I'm love-shy and I get really anxious when things get intimate. I don't have any interest in losing my virginity and sex doesn't seem to be as much as a "goal" as other male friends make it out to be.
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Beatrice
Guest
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Beatrice
Guest
It's so not worth it anyway! Been there, done that.... I didn't just sleep with a random person or anything, but the reasons I had for dating (and sleeping with) him were not good ones....... Obviously views and issues with sex are very different between the sexes, but I honestly don't see the point in dealing with all the drama and...... crap that comes with sleeping with someone for the wrong reasons. Just to say you got laid? Because it feels good for like 5 minutes? One small moment of intimacy and you've potentially got a crapload of problems on your hands, emotional and possibly financial, social, maybe physical.....
NOT WORTH IT!
twiggle
Well-known member
^ Yeah I agree. Its only worth it if its with somebody you really care about. Sex without love is pointless and I don't care much for it. It frustrates me when I'm out with people who boast about their meaningless conquests or who 'go out on the pull'. I won't lie, I've done that in the past, but I'm really not interested anymore because to me it was nice for a few minutes but after that... so what? Another few weeks worrying if pregnant (I always use protection but worry anyway). I'm more interested in travelling than sex. In fact if I had to choose one over the other, I'd choose travelling. But some people out there cannot believe that. I've even been accused of being a prude before. Nice.
I'm very lucky that a few of my best friends feel the same way. We seldom talk about sex and it's great.
With another group of people however... a couple of them just want to talk about all the disgusting facts all the time. It's not because they want advice, they just want to show off. And as somebody who has quite a visual mind, I'd rather not know.
I'm very lucky that a few of my best friends feel the same way. We seldom talk about sex and it's great.
With another group of people however... a couple of them just want to talk about all the disgusting facts all the time. It's not because they want advice, they just want to show off. And as somebody who has quite a visual mind, I'd rather not know.
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Beatrice
Guest
I still haven't figured out how to multiple quote so....
First sentence I quoted: I've been called a prude before too. I've found it's almost always used by guys who want to get me to have sex with them, and so are trying to shame me into it (what kind of guy does that? holy crap....) or by girls who are probably jealous because they've given it up many times and inside really regret it...... Why else would someone call you that? Is it anyone's damn business?
As for the second quote: HAHA. I know what you meannnnn. I was at work and one day my co-worker decided to tell me how well her boyfriend.... "did" her, and about the bruises on her body from it, as well as some much more graphic information. Yeeeeesh.
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Beatrice
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AsTimeBurns
Well-known member
23 - not yet. Nearly 24 now.
I try not to let it bother me too much - though the actual sex isn't something that bothers me, it would just be the relationship and having someone - but when i see couples sometimes i do feel pretty jealous and just crap.
I try not to let it bother me too much - though the actual sex isn't something that bothers me, it would just be the relationship and having someone - but when i see couples sometimes i do feel pretty jealous and just crap.
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Sora
Well-known member
I feel similar, but like you said most people do not believe you, I haven't had sex since my girlfriend left me over 2 years ago and I can't really say I am that bothered, for me it was being close to someone that was the best, even if we didn't have sex. Don't want to go into too much detail but before when I was with her she was with holding it for a few months and it didn't really bother me that much. Sure I got urges sometimes but I can respect that she was not in the mood even if I didn't understand why. She asked me what if I never gave you it again? Would you be bothered? and I was like "well I like it but if you never wanted to again, I'm not going to leave you for it, I would learn to live with it" haaa and she leaves me! maybes that is why, maybes it was a test lol. Either way I know she wasn't right for me so it's ok.
As for the one night stands / pulling thing. I really don't see the point in that and I can't actually do it, I have got down over it many times, trying to tell myself "just be like everyone else go and pull!" but I just can't do it, I've tried to re-program myself to just be like go have fun, pull someone, have sex, never see them again but it's just not me and you can't be anything but you can you? I can't have sex if there is no emotion or attachment, if it's meaningless then I just can't do it!
I'd often choose other things over sex but everyone around me seems to think that is odd and wrong. I don't though and I can see you don't
Sora
Well-known member
Agreed!
It's a weird time we live in, I often wonder how people can just give it away so easily, and why?! but that doesn't do good for the mind, thinking about that too much usually depresses me lol.
Ah why is it all the people that seem to think similar to me are online?!
Lostinthemusic
Well-known member
I lost my virginity pretty soon after turning 20. I'm nearly 21 now. I almost feel worse because of it. It happened with someone I met on a dating site. We haven't seen each other since, but at the time I was expecting a serious relationship out of it. Kind of naive when I look back, but I guess I learned something.
I haven't had sex since then, which might be why I feel bad. I've found I shouldn't really self-diagnose, but it's kind of like having gone from being a virgin, to not being one, then falling back into virginity. Part of it is the idealized view: Once I have sex I will be better because that is what being a teenager is about, at least that's what hollywood told me.
I think the very fact that it was a one night stand made it worse. But that could also be the thinking that it wasn't going to be.
I'm not on the dating site anymore, but I'm not sure if that was actually the best idea either.
I haven't had sex since then, which might be why I feel bad. I've found I shouldn't really self-diagnose, but it's kind of like having gone from being a virgin, to not being one, then falling back into virginity. Part of it is the idealized view: Once I have sex I will be better because that is what being a teenager is about, at least that's what hollywood told me.
I think the very fact that it was a one night stand made it worse. But that could also be the thinking that it wasn't going to be.
I'm not on the dating site anymore, but I'm not sure if that was actually the best idea either.
BlueDays
1
I read the first part of your sentence and OMG came into my mind (being excited for you), then read the rest! LOL Kiwong! :
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Kiwong
Well-known member
*sigh* If only mine would turn up somewhere similar.......
In grannies room behind the clock?