How do you give yourself "self-love"?
- Thread starter Lamb
- Start date
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
Hmm...I try to be my own best friend Instead of what I always am doing-being my own worst enemy. I try anyways...not doing it as much as I should.
Self love means for me being ok with having really bad days, not letting myself get into the thought pattern of thinking "this is how I am always going to be-I suck at life"
I let myself make mistakes though, I am really good at not expecting perfection and not getting miffed over spilled-milk type situations. Like if I drop something or break something I never beat myself up about that sort of thing.
Loving yourself means not letting anyone treat you like dirt. I am getting a handle on that one too...took me awhile. Boundaries have to be set.
I also try to when I have some money, buy myself something small and nice, I try to treat myself then it's not up to someone else to do this for me.
How are you not doing self-love and it's affecting you? Are you some who always puts themselves last maybe?
Self love means for me being ok with having really bad days, not letting myself get into the thought pattern of thinking "this is how I am always going to be-I suck at life"
I let myself make mistakes though, I am really good at not expecting perfection and not getting miffed over spilled-milk type situations. Like if I drop something or break something I never beat myself up about that sort of thing.
Loving yourself means not letting anyone treat you like dirt. I am getting a handle on that one too...took me awhile. Boundaries have to be set.
I also try to when I have some money, buy myself something small and nice, I try to treat myself then it's not up to someone else to do this for me.
How are you not doing self-love and it's affecting you? Are you some who always puts themselves last maybe?
MikeyC
Well-known member
This is good. Great job for standing up for yourself, as that is something that takes time and a concerted effort.
I think that's a key to self-love, too: telling yourself you're worthy of such defence.
kihira
1
Came across the idea of self compassion just today and thought it fitted nicely here
5 Strategies for Self-Compassion | World of Psychology
5 Strategies for Self-Compassion | World of Psychology
Hoppy
Well-known member
Doing the small things. Making sure my rooms are clean, that I dress neatly every day, I shave and clean and cut my nails.
And these days I have discovered the joys of exercising.
The moment I start slipping on these little things I know the depression is coming back, and I have to do something about it.
And these days I have discovered the joys of exercising.
The moment I start slipping on these little things I know the depression is coming back, and I have to do something about it.
Same here about the small things, minus the clean room.
Subpop
Well-known member
Give myself permission to make mistakes every now and then. To try not to compare myself to others in a negative light and to allow myself to get angry/annoyed at things people say and do but not to ruminate on peoples words.
I spend a great deal of time using distraction to hold back the flood of fairly negative self talk I experience each day. I have to be mindful of giving myself a high five for the things I do achieve rather than the things that I don't. By achieve I mean many different things. Some days it is an achievement for me to take a shower and brush my teeth.......other days it is an achievement to make a (hopefully) sound pick on the stockmarket.
I spend a great deal of time using distraction to hold back the flood of fairly negative self talk I experience each day. I have to be mindful of giving myself a high five for the things I do achieve rather than the things that I don't. By achieve I mean many different things. Some days it is an achievement for me to take a shower and brush my teeth.......other days it is an achievement to make a (hopefully) sound pick on the stockmarket.
Last edited:
It's important to appreciate the little things in life like other people mentioned. I used to take things for granted before I fell into depression.
The double quotes around "self-love" was kind of misleading, so I could see how this causes misunderstandings.
The double quotes around "self-love" was kind of misleading, so I could see how this causes misunderstandings.
Tian_Tian
Member
Practice, practice practice! I did alot of reading, alot of introspection and one day I forced myself to make a list of ALL the things I liked about myself....it was a short list. BUT, once a week I took out my list and added something new. Over time my brain got re-wired to only think of myself in positive terms. Y'all know that school mates/peers only point out what's wrong with you and it sticks. I struggle almost every day to not let people bring me down. I still don't have any friends, and, I kinda like it that because it's safer. That's why I'm here! On this site I can be my nerdy little girl self and feel, "normal".
Same here, apparently I have a dirty mind.
Agent_Violet
Well-known member
Aside from the naughty translation that others have already noted...
I love myself by never letting my mind abuse me.If I wouldn't let someone else talk to me that way I sure as hell won't let my inner monologue talk to me that way!! "ugh you're so fat today." "did you REALLY just say that?You're an idiot"
NONE of that talk is permitted to go on inside my head. I wouldn't let another person on this planet talk to me like that bc it's abusive so why am I going to abuse myself?
I give myself permission to cry when I'm frustrated and angry.I give myself permission to dance and sing in the car even if it makes me look like a crazy person.
I give myself permission to let go of all the things that don't really matter such as people's opinion of me.I allow myself to recognize I'm a good woman with a big heart.
I love myself by never letting my mind abuse me.If I wouldn't let someone else talk to me that way I sure as hell won't let my inner monologue talk to me that way!! "ugh you're so fat today." "did you REALLY just say that?You're an idiot"
NONE of that talk is permitted to go on inside my head. I wouldn't let another person on this planet talk to me like that bc it's abusive so why am I going to abuse myself?
I give myself permission to cry when I'm frustrated and angry.I give myself permission to dance and sing in the car even if it makes me look like a crazy person.
I give myself permission to let go of all the things that don't really matter such as people's opinion of me.I allow myself to recognize I'm a good woman with a big heart.
TreeBones
Well-known member
I like to think of it this way. you are the only person on the earth that is YOU. NO ONE was ever the same as you and never will be. That's gotta mean something. It means you are special and worthy, no matter what kind of mental illness, or looks or anything. So take care of yourself. don't be so hard on yourself, do things for yourself. etc.
You're right. Loving yourself is not telling yourself to be superhero, batman, avenger, etc. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against ambitious people who believe they were endowed with magical powers and born to save the world. They can do their thing. Self love is about not being hard on yourself and doing things for yourself. You don't have to be a superhero to be able to love yourself. I have saved 0 lives in my life, never fought in wars, never served in the army, and never donated over $50 to charity, but I don't think it means I'm worthless and undeserving of self love, right?
TreeBones
Well-known member
Quietguy11
Well-known member
Being thankful who you are despite how you feel about your current situation is essential in loving yourself more. Thankfulness is saying, "I have it bad to some degree, but some people have it a lot worse, and for that I am thankful." Sometimes it takes life experiences to see just how valuable we are as individuals, and if people say good things about you, stop listening to the voice that says they don't know what they're talking about. Learn to accept yourself and see yourself the way others accept and see you!
Lamb
Well-known member
I've always put myself down to the point where I think I have zero self-esteem or self-identity. The habit has perpetuated for so long it seems like I have to start from shambles to rebuild and parent myself. It's been like this since I was child.
If there are moments where I feel a flicker of confidence, a good emotional high- I wonder if I might just be cocky in my positive thinking and then shoot that feeling down. As if it isn't ok to have reassurance in who I am, or what I'm doing at the moment. If there's any validation it's mainly from others, unfortunately. Hate to admit that..
Eh, sorry for leading some of you on with the quotes in the title.
h: